I want to cut off all my hair
my body is craving change
it's crying out for a change of scenery
but as I think of endless ways
to snip my strands
into something new
my mind keeps crawling back to you
of how you loved my luscious locks
the sensation of running your greedy fingers through it
the way it fell down my back
and how I twirled it when my nerves got the best of me
I think of how
you were too scared to brush it
because you thought you might hurt me
so careful with my body
but so reckless with my heart
and the longer I think
the more thankful I become
because you helped me discover
exactly who I don't want to be
so if you don't like my hair
(which you most likely won't)
the new me
would like to relay a message

I don't care

Living in the summer sun
Emitting our life's breath
Autumn comes and you are gone
Falling to your death

THE WAY IN WHICH INSECURITY MAKES A HOME OF MY BODY,
LEAVING HER PILES OF SELF-DOUBT AND ANXIETY LYING ON THE FLOOR.
AS I CONTINUE TO STUMBLE AWAY FROM MIRRORS,
TRYING TO FIND A REFLECTION SHE HAS NOT BECOME A PART OF,
SHE REVEALS TO ME,
THAT THE MIRROR DOES NOT HAVE TO BE CRACKED IN ORDER FOR ME TO LOOK BROKEN.
I ASK HER WHY SHE HAS NOT MOVED OUT ALREADY,
AND SHE SAYS IT IS NOT HER FAULT THAT I ALWAYS LEAVE THE DOORS OPEN.
I TELL HER OF HOW I MISPLACED THE KEYS IN THE HANDS OF PEOPLE WHO COULD NOT LOVE ALL THAT I AM.
AND WITHOUT HESITATION,
SHE ASKS ME WHY I HAVE NOT YET CHANGED THE LOCKS.

My devices that poured themselves onto the strings to make the melodies
ache.
They said sorry to all the damage they've caused.
The spend hours turning the pages of Books upon books.
They receive kiss after kiss and break after break.
They touch lies and make sense of them
But I'm still hurting
Still aching
Still breaking