Sometimes, life is all about regrets
Regrets about the hearts we break
Regrets about the risks we take
Regrets about the friends we make
Regrets about the words we say
Regrets about the path we choose
Regrets about the things we lose
Regrets about the secrets we share
Regrets about the secrets we hear
Regrets about the promises we make
Regrets about the decision we take
Yet,
no  regrets
Is all we say.

I want to be
the paint on
a canvas
exist where brush meets color
where wrist
tickles
canvas
I want to exist in
a field
of flowers
where the light
is just deceiving
and where nothing
exists
everything exists
it's where I want all of me
to exist,
I belong inside a painting.

I can't be that drunk
I'm walking in circles
Chasing shadows in the fog
Cold asphalt nipping at numb toes
Where are you!?
**** it answer me
But who's to answer
When it's nobody I'm looking for
She's gone and so are you
Just shadows in the fog of my abyssal heart
Numbness spreading like a virus
From toes to mouth
No longer able to walk
Just mumbling mumbo jumbo
What the **** happened to me
I used to be a human
Capable of writing every emotion I felt
Acknowledged those of others
Now I'm getting drunk
Playing hide and go seek with imaginary shadows in the fog
This isnt me
This isn't you
It's like an echo
I no longer know if its mocking me
Or just agreeing with it
One step closer
Maybe I'll find a face I recognize here
Sirens blare
Noise complaint
I'm resisting arrest
Screaming you have to find it
Puzzled faces plastered on the officers
Flashlights and barks
They think I'm talking about you
They think you're still alive
We both know where you are
I'm just too drunk to recall
If I was the murderer or the victim
Did I sacrifice you to be a god
Was it me I fed to those heathens
Where are you!?
When I need you most
When you're all that I want
When everything is falling apart
You could help me hold up a dam
I don't need to be flooded by these emotions
I'm scared I'll never wake
Just lost to the endlessness of it all
It's too much for me to take it
Where are you!?
It's getting dark
Please hurry
This fog is too thick
I'm sorry
I failed you
As the cops haul me away
I know I'll never find you
I'll never know where you went
But at least I got to see the outline of what you used to be

“If  I could only paint,” the despondent poet said,
“If  I could only paint, I would surely knock’em dead.
Like Rembrandt or Picasso, like Whistler or Van Gogh.
I’d open up a gallery, and everyone  would see
The pictures that I’d painted and they would envy me!”

“If I could write a novel,” the painter empathized.
“If I could write a novel, then I’d have realized,
My dream to be like Hemingway, Faulkner or Thoreau.
I’d be in all the book stores, my books would be top shelf,
And I would finally know that I’d made something of myself.”

“If I could hit a baseball,” the author next agreed,
“If I could hit a baseball, I’d be in the major league.
I’d hit home runs like Willie Mays, and run like Shoeless Joe.
The fans would come to all the parks to see me lead the team,
The kids would want my autograph, and all the crowd would scream.”

“If I was smart,” the ballplayer said, “And studied law in school,”
“Then I could be the President, and I’d make all the rules.
I’d be as great as Washington, FDR, and Honest Abe.
I would meet with foreign diplomats, and help the world find peace,
All America would know my name; Play ‘Hail to the Chief’”

“If I could write a poem,” the President bowed his head,
“If I could write a poem, my ego would be fed.
I’d describe the beauty of a flower, and the winds that softly blow;
I’d keep my poems in a journal, let no one ever see,
And be content in knowing that I had done it just for me.”
pwl 3/7/03

The endless sky seems so dead
A fortress abandoned by wondering eyes
Haunted by the cataclysmic fears
Of asteroids and meteors
Supernovas too close to home
Black holes slowly eating away at the heavens
It all seems so endless
The possibilities of reaching extraterrestrials
Learning what the face of neptune really looks like
Even something so endless doesn't have many secrets
The sky is the sky
The stars are stars
The moon and sun dance together in eternal rotation
Maybe one day I'll get to see
Just what it is out there for me
Why I'm able to survive an endless life of despair
When all it would have taken
Was the 3.2 seconds it took to destroy a car

A peace permeates my heart
lights gleam in my eyes
when I feed the little birds
feel all darkness soon dies.

Disappear chunks of my woes
a smile breaks on my lips
as I hold them warm n close
my fingers kiss their beaks.

A bliss they give without price
that dissolve my aches n pains
when I look deep in their eyes
touch there a divine innocence.

In rough tides my solace
rescuer from life’s quicksand
they import me a happiness
while pecking from my joyous hand.