Oh how badly I wish
I wasn't alone in this.

Tornadoes swarm me and my feet touch the ground
But my head just spins.

Energies
Swarming me, beating me,
Bombing me, throwing me up and
Down and sideways
And I just want to stop.

Please, oh God,
Be still.

The stirrings within that you create
Might make me lose my will.

The lies abound.

The hatred is so heavy.

The agony is unbearable.

The weight of crushing loss and pain.

Mouths and hearts
Silenced for too long.

Beauty lost in corruption.

Hot tears stream down the faces
Of the slaves of the system nationwide.

"Let go.. let go.. let go.."
I whisper to them.

Love in the fellowship of same blood.

Is there no way
To love our fellow man?

Is there no way
To love?

Forgiveness.
Forgiveness,
Will be our salvation.

Eyes peeled with hopeful hearts.

Question everything.

Open minds
Breaking chains
And freeing cages.

Let go of it all.
Defend nothing other than sovereignty and pure love.

With love and freedom
We fly.

I think at times like this

I blame You.

I burn with such an intense hatred for my pure existence.

I didn't want this.

You created me and I have seen too much to believe You don't exist.

I know you hear me.

I know You hear me cussing and cursing the Universe and shouting until my throats raw and my lungs give out.

I'm defeated.

And when my tantrum is over and
I've cried and pouted, sat with it for as long as I could...

Then the worst realization always
Begins to sink into my bitterness.

Now to return in humility and fealty.
To come to You at my knees
And admit my powerlessness without You.

Begging in vulnerability for some
******* help.
For love and support,
My apologies with open heart.

Existing is painful so I blame You.
Existing is blissful so I thank You.
.  .  .
Being You must **** too.

But oh,
How I strive to be just like You.