The first time we said "i love you"
was when we were fifteen
there have been many times that
we had to begin again
but I've known all along that you belong with me

After our sad beautiful tragic love affair
let's jump then fall into wonderland
because you're the only one I want to get lost with
I knew you were trouble but now it's
a state of grace

I saw sparks fly  when I met you
and I was so enchanted
i couldn't wait for you to be mine
and I know all too well
the story of how everything has changed
and now I have found a place in this world
where I can be fearless

This love might be treacherous
but it will never go out of style
I waited so long saying "I wish you would"
and now my wildest dreams have come true

I know places where there is a lot of starlight
that we can call our holy ground
here we can stay stay stay
and never have a last kiss
you don't have to leave me haunted
and waiting for you and your white horse
I still think you're innocent
and I hope you speak now when necessary

Long live all these red emotions
and listening to our song together
which is of course how you get the girl

I will be yours until we're 22 and beyond
I'm so happy that we're out of the woods
and that *this is really happening

yes i admit it
that yes i am an addict
give me something to cling to
and i'll take it to the limit

no i'm not proud
of some of what i've done
hard some days to keep the count
but definitely more than once

and now my latest addiction
seems to be poetry
some have even mentioned
that's not a bad place to be

are they too in denial
are they themselves to far gone
not knowing all the while
they're also playing to its song

with anything once you lose control
and it has control of you
the deeper it is you dig the hole
the more you tend to lose

to me it's a constant battle
i'll be fighting till the end
because yes i am an addict
and poetry, my latest addiction

what's wrong? i ask my sister.
she is fifteen, today her eyes showed the darkest colors
of the normal
light blue sky.

love, she mutters slowly. it hurts.
i shake my head, and laugh.
i am eighteen. before, my eyes used to be the colors
of a storm in the sea.

how is that funny? she asks.
her voice cracking- tears escaping.

that is not love, i smile.
my eyes twinkling, like the stars of a wonderful night.

yes it is, she groans. it hurts. it must be love.
her eyes, now twinkling too.
but it wasn't twinkling like mine.
it was twinkling with unhappy tears.

when i was sixteen, i start.
i thought i knew what love was too.
i had the same thing you had in this
messy little mind.

but no. it was affection. it was not love.
affection, honey, i looked at her, is when you think you love someone.
you call them yours and they call you "mine".
affection is when you hope that they will love you only.
that you will not share them.
that you are happy, with them.

love, is when you let them call someone else, "mine"
only if it makes them happy.

love, is when you will share them with someone else
only if it makes them happy.

love, is when you try to stop loving them
only if it makes them happy.

then how do i know it's really love? she asks, finally, her tears slowing down.

i smile, my eyes twinkling again.
*when their happiness means
more than yours