charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ: Poems

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ 7d

"i wish i could hold someone at night."

"am i not worthy enough for you?"

"false, i just stated that-"

"you're being selfish and disloyal, like how you were to him before he left you."

"do not bring him into this."

"cmon, all you can do is practically sob and think about him! you know it, don't lie to me."

"yes, but i'm-"

"that's my good girl, now come here and lay with me, you know **** well there's no one else you can run to."

"i'm tired of laying in your arms, i want to change who i am for MYSELF. i want you out of my ******* house."

"you better behave, or else those 8 months of staying clean and serene will wash down the drain so quick your head will spiral faster than any other you've experienced. got that?"

". . . yes."

"aw look, i've taught you so well, haven't i? i'm all you need, those silly distractions can wait. remember they're only temporary."

"i love you."

"you envy me."

i don't know any more, my god.

i hate being the one

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 17

i hate being the one

i hate being the one
you can no longer run to
hold me tight and grasp me firmly
such warmth felt so exciting

i hate being the one
you can no longer talk to
your jaw aching and tongue going numb
your voice was so surreal

i hate being the one
you can no longer cry to
pour your feelings out to me with deep trust
i miss being your aid for anything and everything

i hate being the one
you can no longer have hope in
every obstacle was just a piece of cake
i guess you didn't need me after all

i hate being the one
you no longer wish to love
every since that fateful, haunting sunday afternoon
the everything in me expired.

i think i'm moving on, but i'm scared.

#imissyou #imisshim #breakup #death

let me die

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 16

let me die

why do you attempt to save me,
when i have nothing else better to do than cry
so please, for the love of everything
let me die

all of these cold, heavy feelings
they're too much to bear, too much to hide
please, don't ask about them
just let me die

i loved every little name you gave me
everything you did, yet it was all a lie
don't try to comfort me now
let me rest, let me die

i did everything i could to keep you
everything i could to help myself stay alive
it's too much for me now, it's too much pain
with a goodbye, i beg for you to let me die.

i want to rest in suicide's arms.

#suicide #suicideattempt #selfharm #death #loss

promise

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 10

promise

we've made a promise
not to leave each other's side
to be within and without
for our heart strings to be tied

we've made a promise
to make sure we we're both alright
i felt so much safer than ever before
especially in the night

we've made a promise
to heal what's broken of ours
every cut and wound, amended with kisses and band-aids
not knowing they would quickly turn sour

you've made a promise
not to leave my side
you've cut the strings
didn't mind if they were left tied

you've made a promise
to make sure i was alright
sleepless nights left paranoid
i can't see, nor can i find the light

you've made a promise
to heal me, broken and scarred
yet you've left me in a puddle of my pure blood
it wasn't your intention to damage my core, i forgive easy anyways.

stuff i wrote recently, break ups hurt haha. i apologize for some things not rhyming (i know it doesn't have to but) i'm honestly depending on sharing this, looking back i was very...man...uhm yeah, love ya !

#breakup #hurting #suicideawareness #iloveyou #imissyou

slumber

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 11

slumber

slumber
oh how i wish to paint it golden
let me find peace in nothingness
find the missing amity i'm desperate for

slumber
always weeping without it
please come to me soon
i might go mad, keep me from going lunatic

slumber
i slowly fall into your arms
i trust you more than anything else
don't let me lose my wings when i hold your hand

slumber
you hold me even more tight than before
my bones numb and skin blue
quite the hostage, isn't it?

slumber
you ripped my wings off and took me under yours
it felt so much better, goodbye sweet joy
i now am dependent on something that worsens me, but i believe it's for the better.

i don't really know what this is haha

#sleepdeprived #slumber #angel #death #destruction #selfharm #isolation

something.

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 25

something.

what am i waiting for
that silly "something" to appear when it won't?

stop.

charlie ᯓᡣ𐭩ᐟ Sep 9

stop.

don't.
and i mean don't point them out,
you know what i'm talking about.

time's up.
you can stop looking now,
i promise you there's a better view.

stop.
don't touch them, don't touch me,
they're not braille nor are you blind.

shut up.
not a word comes out of that nasty mouth,
you don't care so stop acting like it.

no.
i will not be answering questions,
my past is not your business.

quit.
i hear you whispering about them,
is every detail really that important?

yes.
some are fresh, some are old,
i told you to stop.

please stop.

trigger warning for deep subjects and such. i'm going through quite a rough time right now, i will get better soon i promise. i love you all <3

#selfharm #suicide #mentalhealth #mental #weloveyou

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