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I don’t “need” you by any stretch. that’s not what im saying,

I’m fine now

but it’s been a rough week

and with the miles of words our mouths have walked and the years full of moments we shared as friends, having you around really would have helped.
by far the worst cruelty in love or affection or attachment is that it is involuntary,
when you care about a person,
they suddenly become a piece to your puzzle,
a part component of your being.
when they are absent from your life, truly a piece of your life is missing
a silhouette shaped wound, a metaphorically bleeding chalk outline,
the scene where a friendship died.
sometimes a person can come back,
but i think the wound can scar over.
it's shape distorts - their puzzle piece no longer fits the same
but with effort and will, you can make that piece fit again,
it will be tight in places,
it will feel odd and the image will not line up just right,
but
you will be whole again.
often they didn't ask for this, love is insanity that way, a kind of self harm
but volumes have been written on the stupidity or futility of love.
so we keep doing it, cutting and cutting. odd pieces here and there breaking us up,
fitting us back together. odd bits skewing the image,
the puzzle of our own life made occluded by the inclusion of others
people aren't meant to be islands to themselves.
but neither are they aren't meant to be filled with person shaped holes.
Rough ,Wet, Make it hurt
Sore in the morning
No time to flirt
No love, no whispers
Not even a kiss
Like animals, Mechanical
Tasting this
Bruises, teeth marks,
hickeys, thirst
*******, licking, Harder, grinding
The spot, Almost
Screaming, finding
Spasm, tightening
******, blinding
***
SENSATIONALISM
      catches your

EYE
     busted to the

eXTREME
     got ya
***
There are some places that can't be touched and there are some places that can't be kissed and there are some places that need to be kissed and some of those places haven't been discovered. I'm a handbook. *** is like drivers ed. Am I crying, or shaking from pleasure? *****. Sometimes hands are there that aren't really. Sometimes fare fine linen fingers feel like brown bony paws that don't listen to "let go".
**** me. Even when my eyes get glossy and you're wondering if I'm still there. I'm there. Grab me. *** isn't always this way.

Sometimes I'm in charge, but it isn't freaky. Don't call me a freak, call me lovely. I can **** **** ****, but don't whisper that it's *****; it isn't "*****". Sweating and running make-up. Heavy breathing. Wheres my body, wheres my mind? Don't call it nasty. It's not "nasty". Grabbing, groping, grinding; it isn't lewd. Don't call me a ****.
Touch me and remind me that I'm pleasing. Touch me and remind me that there's only me. Touch me and enjoy it. Enjoy me.
I want the lights on. I want the lights off. I want you you you.

*** isn't always this way; sometimes I'm in charge.
***
Making love,
a sweaty pit stop
between the sheets.
Politicians,
librarians,
directors,
janitors,
authors,
qu­eens,
kings,
moms,
you,
me,
All guilty of this bittersweet act of sticky significance.
All willing to tangle our limbs every night.
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