you touch my face and it feels like the rain that’s falling outside your window but it’s warm and comforting and i feel at home or is this my home? is a home a structure with a roof or can it be a person? is a home a heart or just a place to sleep? if so then i want to live in you and sleep in your mind so i can see what your dreams consist of and then maybe i can figure out what it is you need me to be and at this point i’ll be anything as long as you hold me but please don’t let go because my head is filled with thoughts so heavy i might sink down to the bottom of the ocean and the only way you could possibly get me back is if you turned yourself inside out and crawled inside because you are the ocean and if i have to drown in you just to be near you then that’s ok with me.

it’s march twenty-third
a year from the day we began
and i’m laying in bed
in the early evening
and i didn’t even text you at midnight last night
to say happy anniversary and that i love you
and i have no idea where you are
or what you’re doing
and a train just went by
but you probably didn’t hear it
and it’s march twenty-third
but we haven’t spoken since september
and i miss you

I had always figured that in a few years, today’s date would be tattooed on the inside of my left wrist. Now the only tattoos I have are the scars you left in the depths of my mind, and the memory of a summer I won’t forget.

It’s been thirteen months and I’ve forgotten your scent. I don’t remember the way it feels for your fingertips to brush against my bare skin. I can’t recall the spark that would reignite every time our lips came in contact. I can’t remember the way your tongue would taste in the early hours of the day. I don’t even remember what your voice sounded like whispering through the phone at 5am. But it’s been thirteen months, and I won’t dare forget the way it felt to watch you walk out of my life just as quickly and unexpectedly as you walked into it.

I miss you. Jesus Christ, I miss you. They say you’re not good for me. But if that’s true, then tell me why every time I’m in the car at night, I stare out the window and think of all the time i could have spent with you, instead of being lost in my memory. I can’t fathom the lack of feeling and the ache i get when I realize you’re no longer in my life. The truth is that if I could go back in time, I would in a heart beat, as long as that heart beat was yours and I could hear it pounding against the bones in your chest one last time. They say I can do better. But I can’t think of anything better than the feeling I got when you told me you loved me for the very first time. All it would take are three little words and I swear I’d be lost in you again. Ease your way back into my mind. You already found your way into my heart, seventeen months and fourteen days ago.

i never thought
i was the type of girl
whose tragedies turned into fears
until i caught a glimpse
of my demons
creeping back up on me;
this time,
they came from the reflection
in your eyes
instead of his suffocating tongue

if there's one thing
about my deranged mind
i'll never understand
it's the fact that you treat me so well
and you tell me everything
any normal girl
would love to hear
but the way you make me feel
will still never compare
to the feeling i got
from just a simple look
from him