i watch
a child racing his bike uphill
chasing a purple sunset
mercifully he will never catch it
unless i'm wrong of course
and he realizes meaning
and he comes to understandings
all on his own, before he is prepared to
bear witness to  his own sadness
his place in the world
awakening too quickly, too young
to the ineffable journey
before him

its already begun

Lolled into slumber
The leather of my headphones hug my tired ears
My eyes can't focus anymore
I hear notes and words and melodies
Lolled into slumber
I know that I'll finally be at peace
Alone
Finally away from everything I hate
And everything I love
Lolled into slumber
I'm thankful
Thankful that I made it through
Lolled into slumber
I wonder what I'll dream of
Sometimes I pray that I'll dream of the perfect future
Other times I pray that I'll dream of the man I once loved
Lolled into slumber
I don't want to sleep
Because with sleep comes the commitment to wake up
And I don't want to commit to that
Because REM is so much better than whatever comes my way
Lolled into slumber
I can't control anything
And I need to control things
Lolled into slumber
But I turn the lights on and go berserk
I start reading and researching and cutting and pasting and eating and not eating and it's a mess
Lolled into slumber
I stare at the screen of my phone
Hopeful that I'll receive a text that will change something
Lolled into slumber
I have no choice but to fall asleep