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bulging skin
soft indents
convex features
inhales you
prevails you

never succeeded
not once;
nor will i ever

forever enclosed
in my miniscule world
of tea and brittle bones

stop dreaming
stop fantasizing
stop the anticipation
ill end up dead
from dissatisfaction

ill never open my mouth
never, ever again
to deceptive sympathy
spitting promises in my face

whisper my name
softly but brutally
sweetly but imperious
as if i have a choice
of what goes in
and what goes out
I got lost somewhere along the way
while I was frolicking through the lunar glow
carefree
and
intoxicated;
the scent of half-smoked cigarettes
and sweet perfume.
nostalgia
gets the best of me.

I crave happiness
and I'm having withdrawls,
taken over by adverse thoughts
and
an immutable, stabbing
pain in my chest.

I want to run,
but
I don't want to leave.
 Jul 2014 Cameron Haste
Jord
I'm dragging gently in a
toxic hallway; my friend
of a thousand years-
under a neurotic microscope
only to observe and destroy.
perfection put out the light
you can't start a fire underwater
just because it feels right
written about 4 months ago
'Perspective betrays with its dichotomy:
train tracks always meet, not here, but only
    in the impossible mind's eye;
horizons beat a retreat as we embark
on sophist seas to overtake that mark
    where wave pretends to drench real sky.'

'Well then, if we agree, it is not odd
that one man's devil is another's god
    or that the solar spectrum is
a multitude of shaded grays; suspense
on the quicksands of ambivalence
    is our life's whole nemesis.

So we could rave on, darling, you and I,
until the stars tick out a lullaby
    about each cosmic pro and con;
nothing changes, for all the blazing of
our drastic jargon, but clock hands that move
    implacably from twelve to one.

We raise our arguments like sitting ducks
to knock them down with logic or with luck
    and contradict ourselves for fun;
the waitress holds our coats and we put on
the raw wind like a scarf; love is a faun
    who insists his playmates run.

Now you, my intellectual leprechaun,
would have me swallow the entire sun
    like an enormous oyster, down
the ocean in one gulp: you say a mark
of comet hara-kiri through the dark
    should inflame the sleeping town.

So kiss: the drunks upon the curb and dames
in dubious doorways forget their monday names,
    caper with candles in their heads;
the leaves applaud, and santa claus flies in
scattering candy from a zeppelin,
    playing his prodigal charades.

The moon leans down to took; the tilting fish
in the rare river wink and laugh; we lavish
    blessings right and left and cry
hello, and then hello again in deaf
churchyard ears until the starlit stiff
    graves all carol in reply.

Now kiss again: till our strict father leans
to call for curtain on our thousand scenes;
    brazen actors mock at him,
multiply pink harlequins and sing
in gay ventriloquy from wing to wing
    while footlights flare and houselights dim.

Tell now, we taunq where black or white begins
and separate the flutes from violins:
    the algebra of absolutes
explodes in a kaleidoscope of shapes
that jar, while each polemic jackanapes
    joins his enemies' recruits.

The paradox is that 'the play's the thing':
though prima donna pouts and critic stings,
    there burns throughout the line of words,
the cultivated act, a fierce brief fusion
which dreamers call real, and realists, illusion:
    an insight like the flight of birds:

Arrows that lacerate the sky, while knowing
the secret of their ecstasy's in going;
    some day, moving, one will drop,
and, dropping, die, to trace a wound that heals
only to reopen as flesh congeals:
    cycling phoenix never stops.

So we shall walk barefoot on walnut shells
of withered worlds, and stamp out puny hells
    and heavens till the spirits squeak
surrender: to build our bed as high as jack's
bold beanstalk; lie and love till sharp scythe hacks
    away our rationed days and weeks.

Then jet the blue tent topple, stars rain down,
and god or void appall us till we drown
    in our own tears: today we start
to pay the piper with each breath, yet love
knows not of death nor calculus above
    the simple sum of heart plus heart.
I think ill always be sad;
not in the way most people think.
i don't always want to cry
or fall to my knees
or scream words even i can't comprehend.

I age like the sun.

Time slowly ticks,
closer
&
closer
to the day when it has taken all that it can
and its endless energy erupts
into infinite darkness,
never to be seen again.
somedays i feel like the sun;
although, i don't light up the galaxy.
I don't cause the earth to rotate in perfect
distance,
and I don't control
day
&
night,
but someday
my energy will erupt too,
leading me into infinite darkness,
never to be seen again.
What will you say
when you see me
trembling
slipping
with nothing to hold on to
but the thought of you

the small chance
that tonight
we'll admire the same sky
the same moon
the same stars
but from miles apart

laying on concrete
i'm numb to the cold
surrounded by unbreakable barriers
but these memories seem to seep in
like wildfire

i've never felt so alone

you've never felt so alive

— The End —