I'm stuck in no man's land
Somewhere in the middle
I'm not white and not black
Not up and not down
Not friend but not lover
He won't let me in
He says he likes me
He likes me a lot
"but let's be friends" he asks.
My heart breaks.
theres no in between for friendship and love.
You can't have my body and not have me.
And you can't ignore me.
Either have me or leave me.
But I refuse to be somewhere in the middle

She is
**** and
***.

You show her friends her picture on your phone.
And she is the
Slim sensual figure in their
Sick ****** fantasies.

And she is not
the brain that learning gave her or the
Woman that her parents made her.  

She is every fear her father ever had becasue she is
"Boys will be boys"
and a "healthy" fear of men.

She is every warning ever fallen off of Mother's lips because she is
"Tell us what you were wearing".

She is the careful avoidance of
"Let me buy you a drink"

She is the fear of walking down a dark alley by herself but
turning the corner anyway,
because if she can't even walk herself home,

What kind of life is she living?

She is a culture perpetuated by misplaced blame and the thought
that hormones override self control,
that "I want" is more powerful than

"Please stop."

She is the belief that her body
your body
my body

Our bodies

Are nothing more than tempting.  
Nothing more than pleasure.

You know that she is more.

More than just
a
curvy
prize.

exspression sometimes the binary conclusion,
the concave mass of what my eyes have seen or have yet to see or what they used to see
the abscence of your body between the sheets lying next to me,
leaves me memories and faint reminders of scent carried by air
decaying leaves on the wind,
tommy hillfiger perfume,
smoke all and any kinds of smoke,
the smell of oil paints and the taste of latex,
****,
plastic,
floor tiles,
stardust,  
a shot of ***** you took and held in your mouth just to spit it down my throat.
blue smoke rings,
burnt holes in every piece of fabric i own
down the  alley
later down the alley

You look so pretty like a beauty queen
But you feel so ugly like a horror from your dream
And no matter how gorgeous you truly are
You're insides are rotting and leaving a lethal scar

Tell me you love me,
As you gaze into my eyes,
Leaving kisses for all to see,
In violet, yellow and cerise.

Show me your fiery passion,
As you scream out my name,
Expletives a mere expression,
Of feelings that drive you insane.

Make me feel your adoration,
With your bruising touch,
With the heart of a nation,
To make me love you as such.