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 Feb 2017 Caleb Bearbower
Phia
I knew he didn't love me
But I adored him anyway
And even though my heart was screaming
I just couldn't stay away
I fell in love with you
the way the sea fell in love
with the shoreline:
relentlessly trying to reach it
but
always being pulled back
by the tide.
I can't let you come with me
without knowing my reality,
Come and see my world
The dark & dangerous city.
 
This blood stained roads are my pathway
the stars are twinkling in the sky,
look at them, they witnessed
so many murders, this monster has made.
 
Look at the empty street
you know why is it empty?
Cause they all are afraid of me.
So tell, for me are you still ready?
Mirror Mirror on the wall

                                                     *******!

Why do you show me these things?
Every flaw
Every piece of me I wish I never had?

Showing me this, or that
That makes me the woman I NEVER WAS
That makes me want to give up
Question myself
Hate myself
Die

All you are


Is a false reflection noitcelfer eslaf a sI


My eyes, deceiving me
                Trained
                               By the voices
                                                       Of a thousand doubters

Mirror Mirror on the wall

                                             I REJECT YOU!


I vow to see myself
                                Not in the reflection of ingrained hatred

                                        *But through the eyes of someone who loves me
Dysphoria at its finest..
When I was young,
fairy tails filled my head.
And I could be a lost boy,
Fighting captain hook.
I was never the princess.  

When I was young,
Playing was all I did,
but I climbed up trees,
and splashed in streams,
never touching Barbie dolls.

I was a boy back then.
It wasn’t till I grew,
that I became a lost boy.
Was it when the boys stop playing with me?
Was that when I broke inside?

Lost in a world,
In a world not made for lost boys.
So I let them put makeup on me.
I let them buy me dresses.
I pretend to fancy other boys.

Lost my true self,
But hints of him were there.
He was smart and
He was brave,
He was imbedded within her.

But as he grew,
She saw him,
She heard him calling her.
Save me, find me.
We are a lost boy.

I am a lost boy,
but its not pirates I’m fighting.
I’m fighting to be just a boy.
One who is a boy,
No matter what they say.

I am a lost boy.
One who is reclaiming what they took.
Reclaiming my body.
I must relearn to be a boy.
Just a boy.

This lost boy cut his hair,
hides his *******.
He stands tall and proud.
Because he knows,
He is a boy.

I am a boy.
It doesn’t matter what you say.
I know what I am.
So I will return from Neverland,
And wave goodbye to my lost boy
Inspired by the song - Lost Boy by Ruth B
You know what the stories say
About me. They call me silly,
Foolish, disobedient. They say
I should have listened to my
Father. Now he was a guy
Worth listening to: the one
Who built the labyrinth -- the one
That caged the bull-headed beast
And sent virgins, hopelessly
Lost, to their deaths.

He made me a pair of wings
And when he was finished
told me to contemplate my
mortality. And not to fly too close
To the sun. For the feathers
Were joined only by wax and days
But the sun was made of
molten fire and eternity.

How could I listen though?
When after so long
Penned in the cool, dim labyrinthine
Depths of his workshop, I was finally
Free. A soft warm shaft of sunlight
pierced me through and I was lost.
On my ****** flight, I was ecstatically
lost, rising madly to the shivering
brink of infinity.

Imagine me with my great white
waxen feathered wings circling
(Circling) (Circling) spiraling
Higher and higher to a crisis.

Oh I melted.
Then I fell.

I do wish they'd asked me how I'd have
Liked to be remembered though: Not
the merely foolish bull-headed kid
who refused to obey,
But the dreamer with wild eyes,
The one who once flew
too close to the Sun
And briefly,
(All too briefly)
Blazed.
 Dec 2016 Caleb Bearbower
ally
One day you will meet someone
And you will understand why Icarus flew too close to the sun.
Why did you do it?

You must have felt the hot drips of wax on your back,
known that your flight would soon be over.
So why did you stay up so high?

Did you know you'd become a warning?
A moral?
Was the height so exhilarating you forgot yourself?
Caught up in youthful idiocy like they say?

Or was it the first time you truly felt Apollo's rays?
Felt the light shining on your wings?
Did you fall in love with the sun?
And the sweet burn of melting wax and falling feathers?
I know I did.

Did you know it would soon be over?
Did you still climb higher?
Try to get a little bit closer?
Even as it burned?

Daedalus was just jealous you could fly higher than he ever dared to.
Jealous of your youth. Your freedom.
Cause you loved ever minute of it.

Icarus, did you know you were going to fall?
Decided it was worth it?
Your precious moments of freedom worth every terrified moment of descent
Because those breathes in the sun were the most beautiful ones you'd ever take.
Kids like us know: the best high is the one followed by the fall.

Icarus, they wanted you to be a lesson,
But I never saw you as anything but an inspiration
Lowkey inspired by Musee des Beaux Arts by W.H. Auden but not really
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