a million and one sleepless nights
for the one awake and dreaming about the darkness below.
their fingertips bleeding from tapping to the beat of their heart
and the crevices of their skin roughed into the minds
of the others who deem themselves broken.
mixing poison and the mind, and deprivation of second chances
the failure of us is no surprise to those who flourish
among the minds of the weak.
walking through the millionth haunted house we've seen,
but the demons all remain the same.
varied atmosphere guaranteed us absolutely nothing,
and we're still scared.

portraits of your blackening soul dance around my mind like daisies whilst your heartbeat seems to disintegrate into nonetheless craters of hatred and disgust. Ashless remains of your once flourished mind rest in my hair as a reminder that you were once whole. as if you are of any worth to the drought that rests inside of me. you still contain all that I once dreamt of. but you will never amount to the expectations I have of the person you should be.

I am anything but disgusted with you.
The way you smiled
or the ridiculous squeak in your laugh.
I am anything but in awe the way you  loved me.
or the way you touched me
with such elegance.
I am anything but upset
with the way you made promises, with the way you broke them.

I know tendencies of humans,
and how it is not so easy to stick around with such an unloving soul.
it is treacherous to breathe the same air
of a person who is broken.
I could never have expected you to.
I could never ask such a thing.

I am not mad that you are gone,
I am mad that I let you stay and destroy the person I once was
for the person you thought I should be.

as she sat out in the garden, all became clear to her.
her dreams faded as far as the galaxies in his eyes.
wherever he was, rested her heart.
she thought everything she gave was enough,
but she did not realize her intentions were wrong.
she did not realize that her actions would make her lose him.
she sat out under the tree that they planted.
how tall, how strong it grew.
but it was no longer theirs.
there was no longer a meaning behind all they projected to each other.
desperation and realization sink into her skin
as she notices that she is nothing without him.
something she'll have to live with forever.
knowing she let herself get out of hand.
and now he is eternally gone from her life,
while he rests distinctly in her soul.