She threw herself into heartbreak
like a moth drawn to a flame.
Then learned to heal the burns she had
& just jumped in again.

He became inflamed in sorrow,
but she said it kept her warm.
So he kept the flames of sadness lit,
even though it caused him harm.

In summer, they'd only wonder
why charred flowers wouldn't grow.
In winter, they'd only simmer
as they mistook the ash for snow.

Everyone tried to tell them,
but they never seemed to learn.
So how do you save two people
who are convinced they want to burn?

When I exhaled I felt a piece of you leave me.
The innocence was gone.
The smoke embraced me like you did.
I was shaking.
The stale taste relaxed me.  
And I know you would be disappointed,
But where are you to care?
So here I am taking a long drag for you,
And another for the **** you put me through.
I won't quit till the pack is gone,
Or you come back.

My apartment still smells like cigarettes from Saturday
when a couple girls with crop-top ambitions
drank themselves through flip cups and through guys’ eyes
who purposely landed on their belly-buttons.
I might have stood on the couch to sing that song,
but I’ve fallen for you all wrong. After another remix,
everyone left and we played footsies while leaning
in the doorway of my bathroom, the wood trim chipping
but your smile brightening in the yellow overhead light.
And I promised I wouldn’t find myself
come Monday morning sitting here with my knees knocking,
and knocking, and knocking themselves back into my brain
that keeps reminding my heart that we expired last season,
and that it’s just too **** late.
I promised myself I wouldn’t wipe my tears on my sweatshirt sleeves,
or run my toes on the tile, or breathe in another toxic pack
of what I essentially believe is you. You are the *** I pour myself into.
You are the chance I keep giving myself seconds of.

I know I shouldn’t have separated myself that quickly, or without notice,
but honestly I didn’t know how to attach myself to someone
unless it was delicate and barb-wired together. I’m sorry I ******* it up,
back then, before the mess, wherever you’d like to pinpoint
the blame on our timeline
but you are the only chance I keep giving myself seconds of.
So I’ll distance myself between my body and this frame,
cut out text-message screen shots and paste them to my frown
so maybe I can remember what it was like to smile
without ******* cigarette smoke between my teeth.

Teahupo’o (pronounced Cho-poo)

Did you think your actions couldn’t affect someone else?
Do you ever think about anyone but yourself?

It’s the shallowest of waters that can cause the biggest waves.
Good morning, Teahupo’o, I’ve prepared myself for your arrival.
I’ve felt the ripples. I’ve felt the swells. It’s no wonder your waves came crashing down.
My best was taken aback by your rip current.

There is only one thing you’ve forgot.
Once a wave starts to break, it has to crash.
Now you’ve fallen…
You’re crawling back to hide inside your waters, your shelters.
Now the rest of me lays broken at our wake but you still move on.

My dear darling, Teahupo’o, I can only be with you.
You’ve taken my best and left me with the rest.
My dear darling…

Now you’ve fallen. You’re crawling back.
I’ve been left with nothing. I’ll take it all back.
Now you’ve fallen. You’re crawling back.
I’ve been left with nothing, but you’re my nothing.