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 Feb 2019 bugsy
we kissed
in the rain

and while the raindrops
were stroking my face
together with your fingers
that followed their trace

i felt a love
i’ve never felt before
a love
both so overwhelming
yet so pure
The less clothes a woman wears out in public
The less I like
My interest takes a hike
Because I like women who respect themselves
I don't want to get with you to fornicate
I'll give a million signs to indicate
I'm not that kind of man
If you asked to wait until the marriage, that is something I will comply with without question
I'm not going to be with you for your body
Making love has been disgraced
With people using others
I'm not going to be that man
I have a plan
With you
If we're dating
It's not going to be several nights of lust and be romantically devastating
It will be moments to make your life more elating
You are a woman
A being so special
You owe none of us your body or your freedom
Men are not strong creatures in this sense
You are too special to be used
I ponder if I'll ever be good enough for a self-respecting women
You're holding back tears in your eyes
That's when I realized
I made some giant mistakes
Wanting to burn my past sentences and comments at the stake
Aspiring not to be a flake
I'm not going to push anything and see how much you can take
I'm going to erase the lines we put in the sand
Hopefully the rest will understand.
 Mar 2017 bugsy
 Mar 2017 bugsy
Way back when I was younger
I was mistaken as a dude
They asked all sorts of questions
That slowly grew more rude

"Why don't you wear makeup?
Or dress in something nice?"
"If you ever want to get a guy
Why won't you just take our advice?"

When I began in high school
I had just begun to change
I had bought myself some cheap makeup
And clothes that just felt strange

Still, it wasn't enough though
The insults continued to come
"Ugly. Lazy. Undesirable"
It all began to make me glum

By the beginning of junior year
I had fully given in
Dresses replaced all of my jeans
And makeup covered all my skin

It was then, the insults changed
And people began to glare
Said I "cared too much about my looks"
And my "head must be full of air"

I still always got straight A's
The way I talked was still the same
But though I knew that they were wrong
Their comments made me feel lame

When senior year had rolled around
I was lonely as could be
People "liked" what I'd become
But I felt no one liked me for me

I'd never been on a single date
Because all the guys were crude
So it was only a small amount of time
Before I was labeled as a "*****"

When I finally started college
I expected something more
But people took one look at me
And labeled me a *****

I had not been sleeping around
I still hadn't even been on a date
Everyone just made assumptions
And looked at me with hate

The part that was most ironic
Was that after all these years
Of changing to be whatever they said
I was still hated by all my peers

I didn't want to dress like this
I didn't want to just conform
But there is only so much a person can take
Before they need to fit the "norm"

Society is what destroyed me
They are the reason I am this way
I changed to be what people wanted
Now I understand: I'll never see that day

I don't know who I am now
Though everyone else thinks that they do
Now please just take one piece of advice
It's so important to just stay you

You are perfect just as you are
So continue to stay strong
Remember no matter what they tell you
What society says is **wrong
Well....This is by far the longest I have ever spent on a poem....and the longest thing I've ever written. But though it is FAR from perfect, it was well worth it in my opinion, because this is something so personal and important to me.
To everyone reading this poem; no matter how old or young you are, no matter where you are, who you are, or what you have been through, please just remember you are uniquely beautiful and wonderful. People are going to tell you your whole life, that you are not good enough, or that you need to change to be accepted. ***** them. They are wrong. You have something so unique to offer the world. You are amazing and beautiful, and perfect and you DO NOT need to change. Stay strong and be EXACTLY who you are. Let yourself grow and evolve the way YOU want. Then years from now, when you have become the best you, the person YOU want to be, you can show society what true happiness, success, and beauty look like. <3 I know that all sounds super cheesy and cliche, but I don't care, and I mean every cheesy word of it.
<333333333 Stay wonderful everyone <333333333
 Mar 2017 bugsy
She’s more fun when she is drunk
At least…until she’s not
Because she’s puking in the toilet
And regretting her last shot

She’s more confident when she’s drunk
Gorgeous and ready to score
Until she looks in a mirror
And feels even uglier than before

She likes herself more when she is drunk
Until that feeling goes away
When she is so far beyond gone
That her self-hatred comes out to play

She’s happier when she’s drunk
All her issues leave her brain
But they all come crashing back at once
And cause her so much pain

She likes the world more when drunk
It’s filled with so much good
Until one little thing sets her off
And she hates it all more than she should

She likes life more when she’s drunk
Her mind for once feels still
Terrified of losing that feeling
She soon wants to end things with a pill

But she can stop any time she wants
Or so she’d have you believe
Because alcohol makes her seem so happy
That is, until all her friends leave
Edit: (3/10/17) Oh my goodness! I haven't logged on in a couple of days and boy did I miss a lot!
I am doing my best to respond to all your messages and comments now! Sorry for the wait!
Thank you all so much for such an overwhelming amount of love and support <3 You guys are amazing
For those of you who struggle with addiction of any kind, hang in there, and I hope you all find the help and support you need <3
Best wishes to you all. And thank you again <3

Edit: (3/11/17)
Alrighty, so I just got a very long message that without going too into details accused me of poking fun at alcoholism with this poem. I would just like to be very clear that this poem was in no way inteaded to make fun of the illness that is alcoholism, and if it came off that way to anyone else, I am truely truely sorry. Words can not express that enough for I very much wished the opposite intent. Alcoholism (and addiction in general) is a very serious illness that I take very seriously. I sinceraly hope that anyone who is struggling with it gets the help they need and those of you who are in recovery, I am proud of you. Stay strong and continue to work towards it <3
Once again, my sincere apologies again to anyone who was offended.
Love to you all <3 - Willow-Anne
 Oct 2016 bugsy
A monster appears
like one from your childhood
An inner battle commences
Between the bad and the good

At first, you'd find them in movies
or under the bed
Now as you grow, you fear
The monsters live in your head

Disguised as shadows in night,
New monsters now appear
These monsters are sneakier,
They know what you fear

Struggling to breathe,
your eyes filled with fear
Trapped, alone, no where to hide
Can't escape, it's far and it's near

This monster is tricky,
It plays tricks on your mind,
You plead for it to stop,
But there's no where to hide

This monster knows you
It makes you question your past
With a bleak outlook,
You wonder how long this might last

The one place you felt safe
Before this monster invaded
Now your mind is no solace
Every good memory faded

How do you run from something
That plays tricks on your mind?
How do you know who you are
When it's yourself you can't find?

How do you feel joy from
things that now trigger pain?
How do you move forward with life
when only fear remains?

We all grow up
It's a natural part of life
No one ever warns us though
That life comes with great strife

No one ever tells us
To be afraid of our thoughts
Feeling lost and alone
With many battles still to be fought

Once this monster invades,
It's hard to get back
To a life once lived,
Before this monster attacked

Our parents warned us of
the bad guys outside
They never told us
of the ones in our minds

And now this monster has control
You no longer recognize the mirror
You pray for this to end,
For prayers fall upon deaf ears

You question your sanity,
You question your morals
This monster knows how to torture
To envelop you in its toil

You know you have a battle ahead
This monster can't defeat
Crippled by the past
You must overcome and beat

This is an illness
This is internal torture
But you mustn't forget
You've got a bright future

You must fight on,
Between this inner war
Good versus evil,
What do you fight for?

Fight for love,
Fight to win back your mind
Fight for family and joy
Fight for what you still must find

Monsters can attack
Anyone, anytime
Lest not judge
For you never know when a monster might prey upon YOUR mind

Author note: end the stigma of mental illness. Talk about it.

— The End —