Lips like origami,
eyes like ice.
Hands like soap,
heart like darkness.
It’s dark versus light,
temptation versus innocence.  
I shouldn’t—I know—
but I can’t shake you off.
It’s fights at a wedding,
death on a birthday;
swearing in church,
hurting someone you love;
a book without an end,
your favourite song sung out of tune;
leaving without goodbyes,
spilling someone’s dark secrets;
sleepless nights,
a child without a home;
drinking until you puke,
lying to someone you love;
it’s wrong in every sense
of the word.
But once again,
it’s hands against
heart,
and we all know who will win.
We’re the epitome of dangerous,
crossing on territory that should not be touched.
But I can’t stop.

I hate putting my hands
In soil
Dirt under finger nails
And the substance
Feels just like clay
And I hate clay
Because I dressed
The corpse of my
Best friend
For her funeral
And she felt like that
I touched her and
She was made of clay
Moldable and rotting
As I brushed make up
On her cheeks
And so I can't touch the
Dirt because I know what
Corpses feel like
This is a story the old Crone
Told to me overlooking the
Garden on her balcony
I could only help but wonder
Why she couldn't accept the
life/death/life cycle....
The Crone hates the dirt
Because she was afraid to die

My mother on Christmas
Bitter over wine and a stronghold
That pulls her over the edge
Screaming in a restaurant
In an intimate setting
The full course meal
On the table
And the core issue
Placed at the center
Sitting across from me
Sitting within me
A collapsed mother
An unmothered mother
Complex
Demanding to be felt
Demanding to heal
The illusion is real
Forcing her to hug me
She kept shoving me off
Like my father was beating her
A memory she spends lots of time with
I locked in
And she somehow sent me
To the ground
I picked myself up
And closed my body
Around her again
Until the fight out of her eyes
Blew out and she cried
And I looked through her
And said,
"You are an amazing human being
Thank you for everything
I desire your growth"
Unconditional love
That's what it takes
And she broke

They pulled out his eyes, because he had seen
too much.

They blew out his brains, he must have
known too much.

Blind and braindead was their thought
now it was reality.

And they cut off his tongue
for he had said too much.
When you think, not know, you act as if
the difference fades, the first will go, let that sink.

and suddenly my throat runs
dry and
my hands still their typing,
the mask finally falls.

and underneath it all i am just
    m e .
the girl who forgets words
and doesn't finish her sentences,
the girl who finds catharsis in
words of sadness and the
sound of glass shattering .

i am just me, the girl who bleeds
in ink and cries with words.
the brave girl who never sheds tears
but silently dies inside,
because she understands that
all of this means nothing.

underneath it all
I am
just
bones.

nothing   m o r e ,
nothing   l e s s.

i kind of want to *******
and be through
with that smug smirk
gracing angelic lips
and the infatuation brewing
in the folds of my washed out brain
like i have the patience,
let alone the time,
to sit here aimlessly
and fantasize.

there's something wicked
in how your hips move
stealthy like a panther,
midnight inky blue,
something bitter in my mouth
like your ******* attitude.
you don't say my name,
you don't bother to know it,
i don't share it;
got no reasons to show it
waves upon waves,
blazing brilliant azure
sin walks alive, fractured
and malignant
your lips twitch sinister,
and i find myself enraptured, captured,
fixated
on your voluminous luxe cherry lips
how delicately your tongue slips
god your hands should be here
i need them on my hips
gentle pressure from the very tiptips
is this what it's like,
weightlessness?

each day i see a shade of you,
crimson bled, royal hue
shadows stretch inside my head
while you break the springs of my bed
demons wrestle; my fingers grip your head
i let you create chaos and slay fleeting time
set ablaze, burning alive
i'm paralyzed here in the heat of the day
your toxins thrum on,
zinging through my addict's veins

i think i need to *******
before i'm swallowed whole
a million little pieces suspended,
helplessly on hold,
in a moment, london comes crashing down
and i'm broken, unable to make even
a fraction of coherent sound
you filthy beast, on the prowl
now i'll steal every precious hour
go on and lock me in
your ivory tower
let your hair down, ***** gold as corn
i'm forever yours,
no longer forlon

don't carve their name in trunks,
with your father's father's father's blade
don't scrawl across your papers
initials and immortal dates
don't buy a pet together,
don't let them into your bed.
nothing is permanent,
not even the ticking time bomb
dangling high above,
don't let them be everything,
don't attach them to your soul,
until there's nothing that's quite yours,
until you're one being, fused and whole
don't let them touch your heart,
or say that you are their's.
with every utterance of "mine",
a piece of your being dies, right there.
you can't get back the words
you strung across their lips, for
nothing can return
when it's touched new skin.

i want to crawl inside of you,
know all the things you know,
duck in the corners of your mind,
drink your pain and swallow,
slurp every toxic shot down, down,
my throat, lose my inhibitions,
fall down the rabbit hole

i want to dig myself into
your godforsaken bones,
wrap myself around you and blow,
squeeze some life into your eyes,
those blue-black, bottomless holes,
the windows to your battered, ravenous
soul
let me breathe into your mouth,
hot and wet and whole,
until i'm drowning and you've been
sewn, sewn, sewn,
broken heart beating again,
until you've been filled to the brim,
until my body runs dry
and i remember i can't swim,
until i'm a canyon of ruthless
desolate despair,
until i'm just a vessel
that Hades found of use,
bleeding through your fingertips
to scorch me inside out,
and all is dust and ash

sacrifice is such a common theme;
i'm ruined so entirely that it's beyond tragic,
yet even Juliet never looked
quite so **** classic