You said I was beautiful,
But it was just to flirt.

You said you loved me,
But you said that to everyone else.

You said you cared for me,
But you weren't there when I needed you the most.

You said you'd never do it again,
But I counted twice.

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”*

i toss in restless sleep
and wake with pain in my heart

the lifelong fight i have fought
   for a love never given
is coming to an end

i have not won
   nor lost
but come to accept what is

i'm left with a sadness...
   but also deliverance
from the constant need of approval
that would never have come.

Down a peaceful, quiet lane
The two-story farmhouse awaits
Bathed in evening hues
Of rich lavenders, pinks,
And dusty apricot
The lilac scented breezes blow
Whispering stories of summer
Let me dance in pastures
Of buttercups and wild daisies
Where horses graze contentedly
And Virginia bluebells sway
Where time becomes stuck
And lets me live this golden moment
Just once more

**~Marian~

I know I promised
I'd never write about you again
but it's five am and I am left
with this visceral feeling of
loss and anger

I use to think you stripped
Me of everything
Now I realize you didn't.
See, I forgot about the cross
The burden of love
You sentenced me to

Your name is Judas
and I will accept
the crown of thorns
and become a martyr
for ever believing that
true love existed
in your eyes