Once, I had my heart broken
Once was all it took
Left everything I knew
Sailed off on a grain ship
To see the ocean
And to forget your face

Hardened me right up
Callused my hands
Callused my heart
I even took a liking to the sea
It washed out the memory of you
Well, it did
For a good while

I was hauling on a line
Unloading cargo into port
Muscles straining, when I saw you
Standing on the docks
Felt a hot pain
As the rope tore a large callus
From my hand
Exposing a tender, burning flesh underneath

Three years hadn't hardened me up one bit

First Night (First Dream)

She is warm and she is soft.
She is a warm soft place that I like to be
and want to continue being in/around/with.

I dreamed of the first time her and I made love,
except it was different.
Everything was tinted blue
and there was less blood.

Second Night (No Dream)

Third Night (Second Dream)

You are warm, but I cannot remember your warmth.
I remember the touch of your hand
in likeness to the color of your hair;
orange and sun streaked.
But now you are gone (or leaving, I'm not sure)
and I'm begging you to stick around.
In my dream we were sitting on your neighbors porch,
kissing as we were that night.
Only this time, I was out of body, lingering around the Christmas lights,
screaming at you to stop,
because I knew I would not listen,
but you might.

Driving back, I couldn't wait to get home.
Now I'm home,
smoked a couple cigarettes,
took a shower,
started a load of laundry
and it took me a minute to realize
all I really wanted was not to come home,
but to come home to you.

When I'm drunk I still feel crazy for you
Not a bone in my body could hate you.

You were the best thing that ever happened to me & you slipped away..

I am drunk and all i wanna do is call you up and tell you how much i love you

How much you make me happy.

I can't do that because we aren't together anymore...

It's been 8 ******* horrible months without you.

All i want is you...

I love you.


I am drunk and all i wanna do is tell you how i feel...

I can't.

A coldness creeps through my body,
enters and, seeps with its icy fingers
down, down into my core.
Clasps my heart and takes hold,
glacially traversing my mind, body and soul.

I feel, wait, no, nothing. I'm in a dream.
Induced by drugs that calm and hold you down.
I'm Alice chasing the rabbit, but the rabbit is bold,
and I am cold, behold your cold frigid Alice!
Frozen, addled brain, makes no sense of the dream.

I'll stay awhile in this winter wonderland,
this, emotionless, frosty, heartless land,
and dream of sun, and hope and gold.
Upon waking the dream will dissipate,
leaving a shivering, controlled me.