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 Sep 2015 Julia Brennan
Just Melz
I would happily suffer
   because of how much I love you
I will put myself through misery
    just so you feel no pain
I would walk on flames
     and put them out
         so you can walk through
I will drive myself insane
     so you can have no part of the blame
I just wanna believe
        that you love me
               that much too
 Sep 2015 Julia Brennan
JC Lucas
I open all the windows at night
and let the frigid canyon wind wrap me
like a sheet

It's never cold enough,
truthfully

There's never enough justification
to sleep next to some(one)thing
warm

It lets in all the mosquitoes
and the ******* squirrels
wake me up with their
idle chatter
each and every morning
but I like it.

The comedown's most always
(never)
worth the high
(So I'm quitting stimulants
and other people)

But then I remember
that when the music
resolves
it's almost always
worth the wait

so I think
"Just one more day,
then,
just one more beer,
just one more roll of the dice-
they're bound to come up
sixes
sometime"

I could sit
here naked in front
of this typewriter
and tell you
about how I'm the wind
about how I'm a good guy (no really)
about how I'm a ******* (really)
about how i am                            (an artist)
i am                                                                              (a martyr)
i am                                                                                                           (a fool)

But frankly I can't think of anything I am
that I really believe any more.
Subject

Shortly after our
first date I joked
Don’t make me write a poem about you.

It’s been a year and I laugh
because my poems
have become your home.

It’s been a year and
you’re kissing
someone else and
I’m just kissing people
who aren’t you.

Waking up next to you
for the last time
we knew it was and
we had to tell each other
not to cry so we could
kiss for the last time

When we broke
you said to me
I don’t want to be the subject of one of your poems.

But I warned you.
9/18/14 – 4/4/15 – 9/14/15
 Sep 2015 Julia Brennan
JC Lucas
I was born tall and thin
and pink
like a ****** steak.
I cried until I could run
and then ran
like a lunatic,
screaming peals of laughter
and destroying
without guilt
as kids do-

and still I was
skinny.

I was skinny in elementary school.
The other kids took to football
and dirt bikes.
I was still pink
like an underripe
tomato.

I grew up tall and thin
in a world for shorter
and fuller people.
With crooked teeth and
glasses.

I was skinny in middle school.
When the other kids started to build muscle
you could've played my ribs
like a xylophone.
You still could.

I grew up tall and thin
and frustrated
like a ****.
I never fit on public busses
or in the little plastic desks
at school.
My feet stuck off the end of my bed.
They still do.
I slouched and hiked my shoulders up
so as not to obstruct others'
line of sight.

I still do.

I was skinny
when I first fell in love.
What she saw in me,
I can't say.
I was tall
and thin
and crooked
but I wanted so badly,
just for once,
to be the right shape
for her.
She was rather short
and had caramel skin.
We made an odd couple.

I grew up tall and thin,
a square peg in a world of round holes.
I'm skinny today-
a pinkish wisp
with a skinny soul
tucked away behind dark sunglasses.

I was born skinny.
And I'll probably die skinny
too,
and make a tall,
thin corpse
for a much
shorter,
wider
casket.
I feel I'm coming down
from your caress
could you be any more
pleasantly malicious?

I feel nails like
rain drops
scratch down my back
yet we've even yet
to get to that

I've not had shivers down my spine
go so incredibly well timed
with the lucrative gaze I  find
effectively consuming mine

I'm coming down now, it's true
though this is no motel bow out
or curtain call

once near severe drought
finds near pleasant
raindrops in the fall
no nicer vice
Left to wonder where
the feeling comes from

sitting with a turning
stomach, brimming
with last night's
bad choices

I went home
with loneliness again

I wake to see her
turned away from me

Loneliness has been
my constant companion
the one I know
I should be leaving
yet I sit with her in
self-induced exile

I won't ever be
the first to say it
it's in hand and mind
but I won't acknowledge that

where is the voice to whisper
my wishes & give flight
to a fleeting feeling?

where is the softness to soothe
where it hurts?

The stomach pains will go
away as surely as they
will come back again

But my soul suffers open
wound
bitterness keeps sickness
sustained
though more so
I need the assurance
the comfort

oh, loneliness,
your hair in bloom
upon the pillow cases

my frail hands are grasping
onto whatever they can
they are losing their grip
on the tangible

loneliness, my love,
why do you turn from me?

Shaking arms longing for
warm body go unsatisfied
they only hold own weaknesses

they cradle nothing more
than what isn't there
feeling something like the weather

feeling something like nothing
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