She smiled at me from across the room.
I don’t think you get the importance of that statement.
She smiled at ME from across the wide spectrum of guys in the room.
She smiled at me.
That smile was like sunlight beaming from a sunset through the windows of a broken down shell of a car, reflecting off this array of colors on my shirt.
I had never been as close with my pal “ROY G.”until he was strewn across my chest,
But that’s how her smile felt.
Like a never ending ray of sunshine filling this shell with vibrance.
But anyways, things progressed and I said “Hi,”
And she said hi back, and I told her I couldn’t help but notice her beautiful smile.
She answered back with one of those inglorious tones saying, ” Well, braces from 2nd grade to sophomore year of high school got me this set of chompers,” and giggled nervously.
I caught a glimpse of sunshine when she chuckled.
I wanted to say something. Something like:
"The wrinkliest and cutest of children need a little bit of nursing and guidance to grow up to become doctors or pilots."
Or
"The most precious of chrysanthemums or roses or lilacs need water and sunshine to blossom."
My mind raced for so long I’d forgotten to speak.
So, quickly I uttered out the most intelligent and magnificent sentence that my young life has ever dreamed of uttering..
"Uh okay?"
Uh okay.
I don’t think you understand the stupidity of that statement.
Uh okay.
I proceeded to tell her, “Hey, look I’m stupid and I **** at hellos, and if you’d give me a chance over a cup of coffee you might find some reason to cope with my sheltered emptiness..”
She giggled… and once again I caught a glimpse of sunlight just between her lips.
But anyways, things progressed and we got coffee,
well I got coffee and she got an herbal tea, and we clicked and she found me somewhat funny and I liked that about her.
She filled that emptiness I felt within me.
A couple weeks passed and we were holding hands,
But when I say holding, I mean our fingers were intertwined and clutched onto one anothers like 12 year old boy scouts perfecting the art that is knot tying, just to get a sewn badge for their sash.
I held on to her tight.
She always smiled and I always had color and meaning beside me in that metaphorical shell of a car.
She gave my life reason and I envied how she didn’t need dependence on me, as i did for her.
I had a ray of sunshine in the palm of my hands and those moments would never be brief to me.
But anyways, things progressed and we saw less of one another.
What with work and school, we rarely were in good enough moods to bare sitting within 50 meters of one another.
She still smiled that glowing smile, but it was substantially less often,
even though the yearning for something, anything from her grew.
The touch of her hands.
The smile on her face.
The giggle she made when she-
It seemed that every time the metaphorical shell of a car looked out upon the sun for a view unlike any other,
There now sat silhouetted trees barricading my view of that gorgeous sunset.
Oh, how I ached to see that sunset once more.
The warmth of its shine upon my skin.
The reddish, orange light that slowly changed within minutes as it slowly faded under the horizon.
The touch of her hands.
The smile on her-
But anyways, things progressed and she said things were through.
She said every relationship is like the cycle of one day.
In the beginning, everything’s new and bright and glorious, but eventually, it settles in that the brightness slowly dims, and the sun doesn’t always shine, and sooner or later it’s going to set for some,
and for some it will never come back up again.
I told her, “But you’re my sunset; you hit the windows of the empty shell that is me, and you show me this spectrum of life that is completely new,
and the sunlight needed for the lilacs and roses, and the nurture and care needed for the crawling infants was needed for me,”
For I, without her, am just empty.
We rarely held hands, as if the scouts had already earned their
badges and over time forgot how to tie a simple shoelace,
instead they tied nooses for fun.
But anyways, things progressed, and the sun never shines through these windows anymore.
There is always an overcast, shielding the glory and wonders of what could’ve been.
She still smiles, but now instead of smiling her white light at me,
she smiles through a prism, creating this wide spectrum of men of her own choosing.
Her sun has come back up every morning,
Although I’m afraid mine will never show again.
But anyways, I digress.