I am but
a sparrow
who has flown
through a forest
of darkness
only to come out
with ruffled feathers.

There is a vase sitting on my nightstand
filled with the crumbling remains
of what used to be
the most beautiful bouquet of snapdragons
I have ever seen.

It’s been there,
sitting next to the window
for months now,
melting in on itself
and today you finally asked me
why I hadn’t thrown it out yet.

Maybe it’s because
I never want
to lose that moment
when you gave me those flowers
and told me
you’d never stop loving me.

Maybe it’s because
I never want
the piece of my soul
that melts at your touch
to become solid again.

Maybe it’s because
I want to
etch the way your eyes gleamed
with the hope of tomorrow
onto the inside of my eyelids.

Maybe it’s because
if you stopped loving me today
I could look into the soul
of those wilted flowers
and be reminded
of our love.

But no one likes maybes
so I told you
I hadn’t had the chance yet

The wave of your love
washes over me,
drenching me
in hopes and dreams
and yet somehow
I still manage to choke
on the seashell of panic,
worried that I will be swallowed entirely
the moment the water
trickles down my forearm.
You’ve given me the heimlich
so many times that
I start retching before
You even reach me.
The sting of the bile
of my past in the back of my throat
Begs to be brought up again.
I try so hard to shove it back
into the deep dark hole
it came from,
but eventually
it bursts past my lips
And sprays all over you.
I attempt to clean you up
but I can see the remnants
of my pain all over your soul
And yet you still smile.
You're gleaming teeth
look as if they were made of pearls
and your eyes look magnificently blue,
overflowing with the ocean
of love you still have for me.
You strip me of the wetsuit
that shields me from your ocean
and I melt into you.
Blending lava and water
in a steamy swirl.
Fiery hot and chillingly cold.
Etching our love for each other
in every bend and curve.
Leaving burns and ice ******
all over our souls.
The hole in my heart
that your ocean filled
frozen into place.
Permanent.
Your ocean carves out a place
for itself in the mountain
of my worry
and turns my mountain
into a canyon replacing
worry and panic
with love and trust.
The seashell of panic
crushed in your wake.
Now as the wave
of your love
washes over me
I no longer cling to the sand
begging for shelter
I dive into your ocean
naked and laughing
hoping to drown
in the sea of your peace.

My heart beats
to the pounding
of your fists
on the drywall
of my heart.

My veins pulse
to the beating
of your words
on the windows
Of my mind.

My bones rattle
to the slamming
of your body
on the pipelines
of my flesh.

My "house" crumbles
to the exposure
of your soul
on the foundation
of my life.