Black and Blue: Favorites

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Me and You

how come i have cold feet like that
lie in my bed
and freeze and freeze
and freeze?

how come, now that i realize, that you
don't lie here next to me?

i guess you've climbed up
on the roof
to find a final proof of how the world goes round.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Suspicious Malady, my Precious Melody

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Me and You

Suspicious Malady, my Precious Melody

H like hell I don't know what's wrong with me
S like say my name but not in a whisper or behind my back
P like pick on someone your size, please*

Masses of light flood in;
sound like no I cannot hear anything clearly now
and lights again - too many lights -
in nights where other babies cried I lay awake
relieved

so welcome to my life, my friend,
come spend a day with me and let me know:

is it a blessing or
a curse?

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

I dreamt that I woke up

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Me and You

I dreamt that I woke up

~

WHILE

{I cannot stop thinking about you = true}

remains true
remains true
remains...

YOU think this is all mathematics?
You think this is just dusty crap I found up in the attic
of my house?

Then: OUT!
Out of the loop, but mark:
Once this is done and talked about,
all screens go dark.

I dreamt that I woke up.

"...it's the oldest dream of all." <3
I give up.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Family

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Me and You

Family

all i have
and all that has me
in its grip

escape?

get rid of them
and all that's haunting me
from childhood on

escape? a dream
my love

so live with it.

i hope it s true what people say, and writing helps.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

A Little Something About Loving Ghosts

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Asphyxiophilia

A Little Something About Loving Ghosts

I have always imagined your touch as sunlight
As the heat trapped beneath my blanket when I first wake up
As the rug warming my bare feet in the morning
But that was before I realized I was loving a ghost
Before I saw my breath in front of my face
And realized we had just shared our first kiss
Before I wrapped my arms around myself after walking outside
Feeling the air cut through my skin like a thousand knives
Now I see you in the bottom of every glass
When I am left feeling even emptier than before I took a drink
Now I see you at the bottom of every staircase
As a reminder that even if I would jump
You wouldn't be there to break my fall
Because no matter how far a ghost's arms may reach
They'd never be solid enough to catch me.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Sleepwalking

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Asphyxiophilia

Sleepwalking

For me, love has always been like sleepwalking. I never remember how I get there but there are always footprints behind me in the snow that appear to be the same size as my own. Somehow I ended up there again, with my face turned upward and the wind kissing it. Whoever compared love to warmth was lying. It is cold. It is the inch between solid ground and frozen lake that you can't see. It is the fog that clings to the tops of trees and softly whispers your name. It is the frost on your window that reminds you how easily things can break. The worst part of falling in love is falling out of love. The worst part of sleepwalking is waking up.
You woke up.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

If Abe Lincoln had a twitter account

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Ugo

If Abe Lincoln had a twitter account

Soulless,
We quenched our dreams with thirst;

bought the heavens,
Waving a country of radio love

As fee,

United under one Internet
Two Chocolate paper ******* announcements
And $6 New York Halal meat.

The mortal man always drinks his sea--
So ask your doctor about Nixon
And lift the verbs off your skirt
For Nemo
who replaced Icarus
And now twerks at synods
With ******* oven oil glued
To his left fin;

The same one God used to bet Satan over the soul of man.

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

avoidable deaths

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Akemi

avoidable deaths

Am I losing hold?
In a hurricane thought storm
Little deaths on the television
Remind me of my inactions

Said I’d even myself
Out, after giving into self
Doubt. Unstable, leaning toward self
Harm, while the world tumbles itself
Round

Bitter at my own lack
Feel the fire dying in my breath
While the world
Burns and breaks and blisters in a growing wreck

Did my stutter break another heart?
Did my whisper **** that child?
Too quiet for him to hear the reason
I searched for myself, at sixteen

Is every stilted thought, wasted potential / opportunity
To better myself, better the world,
And every person I'll ever meet?

I will not let
Hesitation
Separate
Soul from body
Ever again

I am not lifeless
I am not cruel
I will not be a bystander
I swear

I am not lifeless
I am not cruel
I will not be a bystander
I swear
Ever again

10:35pm, March 12th 2014

1) I've been marred by hesitation. Fear. I've let opportunities slip past, friends drift away, feelings die.
I need to be fearless, not just for my own wellbeing, but for the wellbeing of others. There are so many people in need, physically and emotionally. I want to help people. I never want to see another friend die, lose themselves to substance, depression. I want to know I've helped people in countries other than my own as well.

2) I've been feeling increasingly disheartened about my own future. Stupid, selfish, self-entitled thoughts.
Some people don't have the luxuries we do. They aren't frozen by indecision. They don't think about how inane 40 hour weeks would be. They have to work to live. They might never realise their full potentials because they'll never be offered a place where their passions can flourish. I have these opportunities, and I swear I will use them to reach others who are not so fortunate.

I will make the world a better place.

#doubt #potential #waste #opportunity #indecision #hesitation #inactivity

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

black wings

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Akemi

black wings

You haven’t lasted me
In a deathbed hollow
I closed my hands on nothing
But a phantom emotion

These flowers in free fall
With their withered stems
Drank their last purpose
When I severed their heads

You slipped your noose around me
And choked the breath away
I writhed for seven hours
And broke the dawn with a gasp

You scattered motes to the ceiling
And rode the sun’s first light
Sever your black wings
Wither my heart

12:19pm, March 16th 2014

When I reach for your phantom,
you scatter to dust.

#loss #memories #dreams #ghosts #agony #haunts

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

(glowing)

Apr 2014 Black and Blue

Akemi

(glowing)

You
are
a
bright
light
amidst
vast
emptiness

12:50am, June 13th 2013

#love #hope #despair