I’m searching for my perfect stranger
She looked just like me
Only taller, skinnier, prettier
We were wearing the same thing
Tight blue jeans and a dark coloured shirt
We met above the markets in a Sydney complex
The night was young; younger than us both
I miss you, my perfect stranger
And the embrace of your friend
Who thought I was her
We didn’t Instagram it
But I can assure you that it happened
So to you, my perfect stranger,
Let’s meet again
For sushi and bubble tea
And this time,
We’ll have more than a keepsake story
We’ll have a hug and a kiss and a friend forever
Because we’ve found each other:
Our perfect strangers in one another

I heard once this dumb joke
About acid taken by some bloke
And how he had a wild, wild trip
Saying that he liked long walks
On the beautiful beach
With his beautiful girlfriend
Until he finally sobered up
And was dragging a stolen mannequin
Around some three am parking lot
But that sounds pretty ideal to me
A mannequin girlrfriend
All smiles and no curves
With arms that don’t bend
And parts which are all smooth
For me to grind and groove against
Licking, *******, *******…
She sounds plastic perfect
Anyways, her name is Delores
And she likes to wear florals

It’s cold tonight in Eden
A full moon is a spectral sight
An apple tree is in full bloom
In this garden where we may say our prayers
Dirt is caked under my nails
I’m tumblin' down, down, down
Eight feet, just for you my dear,
Lenore can’t so no
Not when the throes of passion
Are caught so deep
I’m restless against the stillness
Aching and grinding
Yet paradise is so cool this low

They say only the good die young
I don't think that's quite right
Unless I'm more rotten than you
Your lungs were polluted
Your legs were open
And yet it was your casket
Which closed first

I’m not lonely
But these roads are
Teeming with ants and birds soaring above
I drive on by, past them all and the clouds too

I’m not lonely
But this car is, this heart is
I miss the days when it was the other way around
When I had someone to chauffeur me

I dream of you
Standing in the tall yellow grass
Thumbs up and a cheeky grin
I don’t drive on by

I dream of letting you in
You laugh at the CDs I keep
All by your feet
But you like the music anyway

I ask of you, “Where you headed?”
You just laugh
And my cheeks turn red
But it’s not because of the summer sun

I sing with you
And you love the lyrics
To these old rock and roll songs
But we don’t part ways

I kiss you
Maybe not then
Behind a grimy windshield
But eventually

We don’t part ways
Instead, we keep each other company
In this dinged up white car
On grey-blue lonely roads

But you don’t exist
Not outside my mind
Not outside my heart
Not outside my words

So, I implore you,
That when we meet
I want our story to be
Of a happily ever after
And not a Twilight Zone episode

So,
Mister Hitch Hiker,
Do you reckon I can give you a lift?

I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made cry
I thought he looked like a rat
But there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

It’s been years since they had gone out
It’s been years since I had last seen him
But one night in a different town
By the fire on the front porch
Of a country pub
I catch up with him and his Slayer jumper
And suddenly, I can’t help but crush
On my best friend’s ex-boyfriend

I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made her mad
I hated his guts and she thought that was funny
But there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

I think they were still dating
When I realised that he had caught my eye
Something ridiculous since he made my blood boil
Yet by the beach, beer can in hand,
I was overcome by a sunset urge to kiss him
Right then and there, years after my best friend
Had dumped his sorry ***
But suddenly, I can’t help but crush
On my best friend’s ex-boyfriend

I was the one who told her
To dump him when he made her crazy
I thought he was sweet and kind
But something under the hood had broken down
So, soon enough they were through and through
But once again, there’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

I didn’t really know him
Until they had gotten together
And when I hung out with him
I felt like we had more in common than
Her and him
Or me and her
So, when they were done but not yet dusted
A few months down the road,
When they were drunk on the pier
I couldn’t help but think to myself in the seaside dusk
There’s something about my best friend’s ex-boyfriend
Which makes my heart pound

Honk if you’ve seen Jesus
Elvis Presley died for your sins
Doesn’t matter who you worship
The King loves you