Why breathe when you know you will die,
When you're drowning, why do you attempt to breathe?
The water ,icy and cold like a spike to the chest,
As the water slowly fills your lungs ,burning .suffocating.
When you are bleeding out why do you put pressure on the wound,
Why do you push as you watch the crimson slip through the cracks of your palm?
The blood spilling out. Bleeding. Dying
So next time you ask me why i love when i cant be loved,
Ask yourself why are you breathing when you know you will die?

I was given a sharpener,
One for my birthday as a artists gift,
But have you seen how my wrists glisten in a way no watercolour can fix?
A relic of my pain that goes back to ancient times,
Do you even know how i dance along the razors edge,
My heart pulsing with each dubstep ,
The feeling that one beat too late and I slice my veins,
But thanks for the sharpener that i will dismember to get my pleasure,
The sharpener i will use to dance to my fate,
My last birthday,
Courtesy of pain…

I lay out in front of me a coffee cup,
Ceramic and cold ,warming with the lukewarm poison,
Why when you warn me off the threat,
Do i down the cup just to feel the warmth crystalise in my veins,
The sigh of relief mixes with the pungent stink of life haunting me,
Why am I not happy?
My pain was meant to be gone ,yet my heart still beats
And still beats for you ,
Why do i still go for coffee when coated with cyanide
The suffering i enjoy the excitement kick starts my heart
When all i wanted for it to stop,
And yet it still beats
And still beats for you

I loved someone, once,
They brushed their teeth with wishes of hope,
Just so i could wake up to them spouting lies of heavenly grounds,
But still i stayed,
They said to walk one step at a time,
But that was hard when my own shoelaces were out to get me,
And yet I slept,
They spread a religion of love,
Knowing the bible was AI generated,
And yet I believed them,
They would force the words into my throat,
Suffocating me with their false fist,
And yet i loved them,
The city was so busy yet no one saw the tears on my cheeks
But i painted them red to show my devotion
Abolishing my temperament,
My truth was blended with busy traffic,
And yet…
I stayed.

You looked at me like love could grow,
But, I, am a garden choked in frost,
Our love could never blossom,
Never break the icy exterior,
You are the brightest sun and ,
And the winter grows stronger when I believe
that spring was possibly near,
I still doubt the light that reaches me,
I remember I learnt to freeze warmth too,
Now I spend my days surrounded by evergreen
Bound to wither forever,
And sadly my fate is sealed,
And you my love,
Have to bare witness,
Working over time to save me and yet still,
I frost every summer,
And still you warm,
And still we sleep,
And still when winter comes,
You, my love ,are gone.

The world is muffled,
To loud yet to quiet,
A storm gathers in the night,
I try to move,
But i'm heavy,
Worried of the crash,
Caught im tangled whims,

The touch of clothes,
The pull of air,
Its too much,
I used to dance with the noise,
Now i'm in a state,
With no clear voice,

I want to scream,
But silence falls,
A thick blanket,
No matter how much you want it,
The peace will never come,
So i sit here,
Pretending,
A shell no one can distinguish,
Hoping for something thats not coming,
Calm in the sea,
The coast will never see,
Begging to release my mind