Your kisses are toxic.
They control my mind and fuel my desire,
Filling me up with your poison
Inch by inch. It's eating away at my skin.

Your words are fatal.
Thrown at me like spears, breaking my trust and
Feeding your arrogance, until it spawns
Into a beast of its own. It has taken over you now.

Your touch is my ******.
Pulsing adrenaline through my veins and making my nerves
Ache for you. But they are not met with your touch.
Your hands are cold anyway.

Your voice is my oxygen.
It fills my lungs with venom and corrupts my naïve heart.
Your sharp tones cut through my skin,
Awakening a darkness in me that you planted there.

I fulfilled your wants but was not your needs.
And then you wanted me no more.
And yet I long for you. I desire, require, yearn for, burn for you.
While you became stronger with each piece of me I gave away.

An empty can stands alone on a cluttered shelf,
Its cold and hollow corpse reminds me of myself.
It is the only thing left that still has traces of your lips,
And its surface still holds the caress of your fingertips.

I forgot to remove it: it is part of the decor,
Like the oath that you swore:
"I love you," etched into the frame of my bed,
You forgot to scratch it out when you left, it can still be read.

What is gone is your pictures, I tore them from their frames.
Their glass bare, waiting to be filled by new flames,
But they won't be replaced.
There are fragments of you everywhere; they can't be erased.

Your touch is ingrained in every corner,
The memories are painful to me, the mourner.
Your laugh is absorbed in every wall and ceiling,
While the cracks that you left behind are slowly healing.

A jumble of letters, a unique code,
A title given to a being.
Another label in a list of contacts,
A name is trapping, not freeing.

But your name feels like more than a word,
Than a code, a title, a label.
Your name carries much more value,
It’s chaotic, complex, unstable.

From my lips it feels forbidden,
To my ears it is a surprise,
To my heart it is a whirlwind,
And a gift it is to my eyes.

It is a character in my stories,
A hero in my dreams,
A lead role in my memories,
But in my present life it is not seen.

Your name is a missing person,
An object lost at sea,
Your name is a hurricane of emotions,
But has become a stranger to me.

First comes winter. The hardest to survive.
Cold and barren; the frost eats you alive.
Branches of hope bare; leaves of love decayed,
Around your heart and soul, you’ve built a barricade.

Next is the spring; winter gone at last.
The time for new life, no longer bound to your past.
Resilience gave you another chance;
You refuse to look back now, not even a glance.

Now the summer, best season of all.
You think you've moved on, standing proud and tall.
Growing and blossoming towards the sky,
Barely remembering the last goodbye.

Darker nights now autumn is here,
Doubts create fog this time of year.
Leaves of joy and fulfilment are furling and falling,
Memories of lost love you just keep recalling.

Then winter strikes again, but not quite as strong,
You wonder why you still haven’t moved on.
Reliving every mistake and regret,
The frost bites your skin. It won’t let you forget.

The seasons repeat until you become winterless,
Your bark has healed, you are finally splinterless,
Life now a lattice of long summer, carefree spring,
But occasionally the autumn may sometimes creep in.
Or so that is what I hear,
But I still have winter as part of my year.

Gazing into the sea that is your eyes,
My heart it beats to the rhythm of safety.
A sparking blue gem of the earth,
Catching my dreams and my breath.

Mirroring the light that is your smile,
Heart beating in time to our laughter.
The mischief eminent in your grin,
Its sound and your strong arms pulling me in.

Gently caressing the soft bed that is your skin,
The flutter of my heart the only sound.
Smooth and firm ivory holds me tight,
Nothing in the world could feel this right.

Joining with the soft petals that are your lips,
Heart racing faster than my short breaths.
Lips fusing, uniting, merging into one,
My heart is on fire and all senses but touch are gone.

Two years of bliss and then plummet.
Reality hazy and hope scattered
With the pieces of my heart.

The black void in the centre of your eyes,
The smirk lurking in your smile,
On your skin lies prickles and thorns,
And from your lips harsh words are born.

These things they went unnoticed,
But now they’re all I see.
The you I knew, is memories,
But the true you lives in reality.

Not a time, nor a place, but a date.
The date that changed my course of fate.
The day I was at my worst, not best:
The day my heart was ripped from my chest.

Where, you ask?
On a patch of grass,
For all public eyes to see.
Calling passersby and motorists: here's a show for free.

Already knowing what was to come,
I had time to prepare before the fun.
But no preparation was enough;
All my pride had turned to dust.

Crying and begging; not my finest hour.
Life turning from sweet to sour.
All the while a proud smirk sat,
Upon your face. What a ****.

We coalesce, a mass of limbs,
Our bodies and souls connect.
I know your face, I know your skin,
And every perfect defect.

We speak in whispers, breathe our words,
Kiss our thoughts and feelings.
Laugh out loud, free as birds,
All wounds are quickly healing.

We share our secrets, share our dreams,
Our minds they become one.
But all is not as it seems,
You’re in my head; you’re gone.