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2017 and I'm still writing
2017 and still no one likes me
Let me take you back to 2011
Back to when lyrics were
Jumping out of me
Like visual scenes
Back when I was an emotional mess
Where every song ends
With me dead
Remember
The razor blade cuts
All of  them scars
All that blood
I called Art

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Doctors keep prescribing me pills
With this, I can't even deal
Drug addict
I just won't be
They get poured down the drain
My soul is damaged
Beyond repair
In a pitch black room
You'll find me there

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

Happy go lucky
That's supposed to be me?
Guess you just don't really know me
And all the things
that run through my mind
Every single night
I'm lost in life
And I can't seem to find
A map that shows me the right direction
They said life's all about perception
And my perspective
Is that I'm just dead and floating

I've been looking around
And nothing has changed
I'm still the mess that was made
I still crave that attention
I still end my nights in depression

I'm still looking for something
That can save my life
Keep failing at everything that I try
Sometimes it's an effort to even smile
At least I can admit it
At least I know I'm like this

©2017 Written By Benji James
Twenty-seven years
Of losing out in love
Twenty-seven years
Of never giving up
On anyone I love
Full of hate, But full of love
Full of courage, Full of heart
I’ve fallen down
But I got back up
Got lost, been stuck
Found a way back out
But fell right back in

Twenty-seven years
I’m still holding on
Twenty-seven years
All the best parts of me gone
I’m still staying strong
But for how long?
Every day could this be my last song
Twenty-seven years
and it all goes wrong
Twenty-seven minutes
Bad lucks born
So many decisions
but I’m still torn

Ever since childhood memories
I’ve had enemies
I’ve lost energy
trying to fight
With all of my might
I’m losing sight
through all these hard times
Through every single line
through every rhyme
Through everything I write
You get a glimpse
Into my troubled mind
So appreciate the time
That I’ve put in
To every word
From all the hurt
In my heart
From all my broken love

Twenty-seven years
It’s taken to come to terms
With all, I’ve had to learn
Twenty-seven years
I’ve learned to burn
All the rage, the hate
Wipe clean the slate
Twenty-seven years
I’m still around
Twenty-seven years
I’m standing my ground
Against the tides, the crowd
It gives me a reason to shout
My passion out loud
Standing tall and proud
Before I’m taken out
In the final round

Twenty-seven years
Twenty-seven years

©2017 Written By Benji James
River
riven
flowing
given
enter
Satan
**** a
nation.
River
riven
Satan driven
Enter
Life
No longer riven.
Please give Giver
Please flow River
please return Satan
To the Giver.
Set us free undamn the river
Set flow the river
freedom
deliver
who we
were drawn
back to the Giver.
Looking into your eyes
In a beautiful forest filled with butterflies.
We weren't alone.
We decided to move to a different zone to talk.
We took walk on the sand, and we're wearing no socks.
The sand was warm on the soles of our feet, and we had a plan.
We wanted to clear our minds, and leave everything behind.
We thought about visiting the ocean metaphorically, and literally.
All we can think about is the bright light in the ocean.
I wanted to go on this adventure with you, and me even if we fail or win we know our adventure will begin.

I embrace you in my arms.
I can feel the sun touching our skin.
I want to us to discuss our sins, and put them in a bin covered with dirt.
We might be black widows, but I don't want the posion to hurt.
I know in the past we created webbing to catch unfaithful prey.
I want it to rain to stop the pain, and wash away the past today.
We know we're jumping into a perilous fray.

When the clouds begun to move away.
I could see the blue sky, and birds fly south.
We started to kiss each other mouth to mouth.
I wanted no poison, or no sin.
I wanted to feel refreshed, and I wanted to breath again.
All I can think of is a breath of life like husband and wife.
We need an antidote.
We believed in hope.
We had to remove this poison, and set sail upon a new horizon.
Like a tailor and sailor that's sowing up the past.
We knew we had to sail fast, and avoid rocks so we can talk.

The concealed secrets we kept in our ***** pockets, and the dilapidated ships that we touched with our hands and lips.
The ones we harboured away for years, will start sinking into the ocean because the truth that was aloof has fallen through the roof.
There should be only two ships,lips, and hips to steer in the ocean, sea, or pond.
I want to be the one, so let's begin to travel in the hot sun.
I want us to have a future, and we need to be captains.
I want us navigate safely again into the ocean.

When we opened up our seashells
We placed the shell close to our ears.
We we're feeling guility and in fear.
We we're in hell on a bus with no breaks.
We knew we had to evacuate before it was too late.
Our minds felt waterlogged with lava.
I would miss the times we sat under the guava tree.
I want you to be with me.
We needed to unplug this bug.
We needed to get rid of this heat.
We needed to warm up our cold feet.
We could of drowned.
I want us to be crowned.
I want us to be in power, and i don't want our relationship to be sour.
I want us to be King and Queen since we we're ninteen.
After all these years we should've armed the guards with spears.
They will guard us, and inform us not to trespass on the woman or mans grass because we know we will get cut by glass.
We we're out for the thrill, but we realized with our eyes and lies the poison eventually spilled on the table, and we had no more adult cable.
We couldn't run the show anymore.
There was no need to be on this channel because this would dismantle our ship, and the relationship.

We lived in despair with unclean underwear.
We smelled like rotted pears.
Like lies growing on the grapevine.
We broke our fishing lines.
We received no loot.
We know honesty bears fruit.
We will sow the seeds on the ground.
I love to have you around.
I know we can grow as big as a beanstalk.
I am happy we had this talk, so lets walk into the ocean.
I want a proverbial rehabilitative wave to wash over us, and cleanse our sins.
We won't fail swim because in our hearts we know we can win.
We love this adventure anyways.
All we can see is our destination in the distance.
I't begins to shine and intertwinewith resistance.
We feel immune all negative elements, that makes us prismatically optimistic.
With this positive energy I can feel you all over me.
I can feel the sea shells and star fish near our feet.
I love way we solved our dilemma; I feel like we will never cheat on our test in the future because we our faithfully cleansed by Poseidon's tidal wave to wake us up so we earn our diploma's.
If God couldn't help us, another God in the water could make our relationship swim, and sail in the ocean once again.
Your love for me has opened the window from the start.
Your love for me has sent a warm breeze to my heart.
Your love for me is distant like the luminous stars.
Your love for me is distant like Venus and Mars.

Your love for me shines like the brightest star.
Your love for me wonders where you are.
Your love for me feels light years away in space.
Your love for me will allow us to meet face-to-face.

Your love for me is luminous like the white moon.
Your love for me will happen very soon.
Your love for me reminds me of the Milky Way.
Your love for me wants me to pray.

I want to wish, and pray upon a shooting star.
I wish you were here because you live so far.
When this wish comes true..
All I want to be is with you..

I will imagine your manifestation by my side.
I will imagine you resting your head on my chest all night.
I will imagine you gazing into my eyes.
I want to imagine this all night..

All I have to do is realize you are far away..
All I have to do is pray everyday.
When all the shooting stars eventually connect..
In the end we will meet, and that will be perfect.
Let me lie in your embrace
Of sweetly scented sweat,
My ear against your chest.
Anchored by your breath
That softly plays along my forehead.

The irregular beat of your heart
is a mellifluous lullaby,
It stops the fluttering in my gut;
Pulling the wings of my butterflies.
I feel high when your fingers
Slowly trickle down my spine.

Intoxicating angel,
You were never really mine.
Born to fly, to hover
Over this rotting cesspool of waste.
Your skin is a flavor
That my tongue will always taste.

Let me lie in your embrace
Of sweetly scented sweat,
My ears against your feathers.
My eyes dripping wet.

The irregular beat of my heart
Is a cacophonous reminder of time.
I just want this smell to linger longer;
Like the days we'd pretend you were mine.

-SLuR
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