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I can't breathe ,
As I get devoured by my emptiness and I can't breathe .
I smile at the lady that asks how I am doing ,
And I respond with "im great"
I feel as if I lose myself a little more every time I crack a smile across my face.
I've become quite the ***** some would say.
But what they don't know is that I'm simply defending myself .
Every time someone tells me they have a cute crush on me ,
I feel like a cornered animal .
Ready to attack if you get too close .
This emptiness I feel is always there .
As I drink my morning coffee ,
As I volunteer at shelter,
As my friends speak to me .
Like an uninvited guest that has over stayed their welcome .
An intruder in my heart .
Leave !
Get out !
You are not welcome !  
Leave me alone !
But wait that is what you have done ,
And that is why I cannot breathe .
You have left me alone .
And now I fear this monster of melancholy.
I know I will eventually shake this feeling . But as of now I feel that I am just going to let this feeling consume me. I've done it before and I was safe there .
I'd live for you is a bigger compliment than I'd die for you
When someone says "I'd live for you," they are telling you that they are willing to wake up and
Face whatever demon is at their bedside
Force their dark thoughts away
Or fight their problems and keep pushing on
They are willing to give up on giving up, for you
Recently I have a friend who has been having some problems
I've contemplated telling him I'd live for him because he helped me out of one of the darkest times of my life and I can never properly thank him, but I don't know if he'd understand that I mean I value his friendship and his wise words
Then again, I may be the only one who thinks "I'd live for you," is a bigger compliment than "I'd die for you."
She rolled around all morning
Soft linen sheets, sun rising
an open window, blinds open
Living room bright,
Kitchen still clean
The breeze got her face
Rolling around, carrying her dreams
Empty bottle of wine from last night
Not a care in the world
Unapologetically being herself
Only thinking of music & soft skin
She enjoys a morning, early and calm
Exercising her mind for what's next
A sudden knock on a door
Two big brown eyes, her pupils expand
it's time
time to load my most personal  things
taking only the most important

escape this apocalypse
you'll see me on the side
of the road
my cardboard box full of notepads

a lifetime of heart things
feelings tear stained yellow
page after page
pulling a Radio Flyer

on I-10
three  cats and an old faithful
black labrador dame
and one box
 Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m
Sam
When I caught a glimpse of you, I barely could believe.
You sat there on my porch as if to be my sign.
And when our eyes locked, you didn't fly away.
Is it injured? Is it real?
These were my first thoughts.
Even as I opened the door, and stepped towards you, beautifully you held your perch.
You're the bird they love to hate.
Your beauty they can not see.
Dark, smart, and misconstrued.
They say that you're an omen, but I can see that you're my guide.
To the crow outside my window, you're always on my mind.
To the crow outside my window, you're really just like me.
 Jun 2017 a z u r e d r e a m
han
I fall in love with people
and their ability to be vulnerable
because it takes courage
to be real, human
in a world full of photo copies
To come across something
genuine or authentic
is a rarity
and I find myself loving
and admiring that
June 27th ~han
Touch

You cannot lift or load it,
over your shoulder, throw it,
to best assay its weight -
is it ponderous, full of big *** gravitas
or a snack, a parfait desert,
a haiku delight?

You cannot touch it,
but it can touch you,
It can grasp both your shoulders,
shake you from complacency,
put its hands upon thy throat,
gasp emit, a scream demanded,
paint whimsy lines on thy face,
from ear to ear.

See

With yours eyes, by a mere glance,
true reveal its length,
stanzas multiple or an itty bitty ditty,
but this gives no value clue,  
Ogden Nash vs. Tennyson,
in two minutes make you laugh,
in twenty, make you beg, mercy!

Smell

Some Poe poems do stink,
befouled mushrooms in
a dank place, some require nerve to read,
but your olfactory be ill suited for
poetic deconstruction and criticism.

Hear

Wake you with kisses upon thy face,
inject love poems into thy ears,
straight to the brain verbal crack *******
yet even the hearing the whisper
of words from my lips,
is an insufficient,
sensorily speaking methodology,
of how a poem, to best comprehend

How then?

If touch, vision, smell and cursory hearing alone
can't essence capture, what then, weary reader,
is the supposed Laureate's approved analytical tool?

Taste

Each letter, a morsel in your mouth,
Each phrase, a fork full of pleasure,
Each stanza, a full fledged member
in a tasting menu,
Perfect only in conjunction
with the preceding flavor,
and the one that follows,  and the one that follows.

Taste each poem upon thy tongue and then pass it on,
you know how....

Each word, whether chewed thoroughly,
or lightly placed upon a bud for flavor,
needs the careful consideration of your mouth.

Feel the light pressure of the tongues tip
upon the roof of your mouth
and the exalted exhalations of
air rushing past thy cheeks
as you messenger breath from
your chest to be shared with the world,
over the poem's interpreter, your tasting lips.

As I lay each word down,
a brick by brick edifice construct
of mine own design, I am sated, fulfilled only,
when with I see your lips move
as you savor my words,
my taste you share,
and we are closer for it.


*
Deaf, dumb and blind,
all such travails can be conquered, assailed,
but when I cannot, no longer anymore taste
my poems upon thy lips, then I breathe no more.
an old favorite of mine reposted.
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