I often remind myself that I am still breathing,
that I'm not drowning in the air struggling to dream again.

I keep walking in a hope that someday I can leave those voices behind,
I have always wondered if there is more in my head than just my mind.

I pretend to be human, I pretend whatever they wish for me to be,
I keep staring in the mirror for hours, where am I.. where is he?

I question my sanity because I fear I do not belong to this place,
I am afraid what I'll find when I peel away this rotten face.

my teeth bite into my skin when I'm scared of them hearing my soul,
I choke myself in pieces till I cannot hear myself no more.

sometimes I find myself drowning in the cold winter air,
I struggle to dream again and find myself in a nightmare.

I wish there was more to this world than I was taught as a child,
I'm just one of the skeletons burning in the rotten pile.

I draw shapes to my scars in order to find the meaning of my pain,
I do not feel anything anymore until I hurt myself again.

I'm burning within my cold skin, I am ready to ignite,
I see all these people walking who aren't even alive.

I wish I could take a life, I wish I could be better than this,
I know there is more but the dessert mean nothing to a fish.

I am fading away into the stark darkness that follows our lives,
I often remind myself that I'm breathing,
but I am not alive.

I wish I was never cold
not blue that my eyes were sore
infected with words and more
with every bite a tear is sold
wailing in circles
about a scar never told
I am standing in this vastness
with my own sorrows
young and old
when eyes draw laughter
from the smile my face stole
I don't think anymore
there is no happy ending after
since I've been stuck here
in emptiness that grows
all across this world I live
in places I never saw
with everything beautiful
and ones with their flaws
withering in this winter
far from the summers gold
when old tales are the law
no one can silence their blindfold
I wish I wasn't so cold
but then
sunshine would eclipse the dark
I would see them
in the dark of my heart
comfortable
and I will burn

running naked in the tunnels
cold and lonely
searching for nothingness
emptiness escaping the soul
to devour the bones whole
beneath the dark
where the skeletons remain
with no names
buried in footprints
crawling on the walls
howling as the wind falls
shaping colours never known
running through the tunnels
all alone
moaning voices linger
into the vast hollow of time
everything dances in dust
light is too cold to shine
broken air finds no mate
there's no one at the gates
only the dark awaits
to be fed by the fear
burning at the end
separating the skin from heart
ripping every inch apart
and making an idol
that will sit behind the eyes
where the loneliness hides
and the unthinkable hides
through the tunnels
where no space is wide enough
to turn back

I lost a friend and I lost a tooth,
The tooth had to go; the friend I couldn't lose
It was a wisdom tooth, with some decay,
It was a wise friendship, its strings began to fray,
The tooth couldn't be salvaged; the friendship stood a chance,
I chose to cut loose the tooth; cutting the friendship wasn't my stance
Like my tongue wiggles, at the place the tooth would be,
So mind tumbles, at all things my friend used to be

I wish I was more than what I turned out to be,
I wish I was who they always wanted me to be
another lie in this sea of corpses hanging on to each other,
without any dreams or sight,
I wish I was as dark as night,
so they could see the flaws in every light,
I wish there was no need to pretend that I am no one yet,
but they know not to forget,
what they once wanted me to be,
I wish I was free in this world locked in chains and scars,
I wish I wasn't a machine and had a heart,
that everything was more beautiful than how they claim,
those empty words that fall down on my conscience like winters rain,
forming icicles that dangle over my head waiting for me to speak,
I wish I was weak,
so I could give in to their desire and leave,
tear a hole in my head and bleed
away
every thought they want to ******
I wish I was young again,
so I could be afraid of the things beneath my bed,
instead of the voices inside my head,
I wish I was dead,
so they could stop counting my every breath,
I am not what I have always pretended to be,
I am too cold and they are too old,
to see,
beyond the rainbow where colours still dance in peace,
I wish I could leave,
I wish I could breathe,
in this hollow they call my home,
I'm so alone,
wandering inside my head all alone,
I wish I could mourn but I won't,
it is I who chose not to wage war on the strangers,
that have made me a prisoner within my own skin,
I wish I wasn't always burning,
for I cannot feel the pain no more.

I remember watching you slowly walk away,
with a million voices I begged you to stay;
with a thousand tears I wished for your return,
yet you kept walking on
everything left behind was consumed and burned.

my heart was ripped apart while I was still breathing,
you never felt the pain I was keeping,
I remember you smile while you whispered me my scars,
you never looked back;
I saw you walk away and far.

I remember knowing you were lying in arms of his,
I stayed awake all night fighting the demon's poisoned kiss,
I was withering without any colour or flavor to suffice;
you turned blue then,
as cold as ice.


you left me questioning my sanity and what comes after,
all night long the silence kept lingering with your laughter,
oh I loved you still then and I know it wasn't meant to be,
while my eyes were raining,
in his eyes what did you see.


you were gone and there was nothing I could do about it,
I kept fighting the air but that's about it;
you left me with monsters and beasts I could never tame;
you Promised me your all and yet,
you left me once again.

I remember screaming because you were stuck inside my head,
I remember how my bones hurt with every morbid breath,
I was locked inside a cage you made with your flaws;
where were you then,
when I was destroying my all.

I remember feeding myself lies to numb my soul,
I remember waking in cold nights as black as coal,
and without a noise you found your way back;
but I was gone, oh I was gone;
for while my eyes where raining,
I saw the sun like you never have.