Tonight it was like the pressure
From the entire week crescendoed
Into a single moment.
My emotions have been bottled,
My fires have been quenched,
But tonight I felt as though
All of that careful containment
Was going to be undone.
I was about to unleash
All of that fiery passion,
Until a bucket of ice water
Was poured onto my head,
And fifty pounds of
Compressed-emotions were
Pumped into my soul.
There they will stay
Until you take them away.

His lawn must've held back its lunch
When he drove those signs
Deep into the soil;
Crushing little blades, 
Cutting roots, and displacing 
Perfectly placed earth.
Likewise, I had to hold back 
My breakfast this morning 
When I had dissenting opinions 
Driven into me;
Cutting through my skin into
My heart, making my palms sweat
And my stomach drop.

Wisdom takes careful steps.
She knows that hasty footing 
Leads to harm.  To avoid falling,
Or stepping on something deadly,
Wisdom takes careful steps.

The trick with flaming hot Cheetos
Is to eat all that you want 
Before you drink any water.

If you eat some, and then drink,
And then eat some more,
Your stomach will be an ocean 

With breakers crashing to and fro
On the banks of your inner shores.
It will not feel nice, so make sure

To follow this advice; for I am, when
It comes to Cheetos, an old man who
Has for learned from my many years 

Of eating one way, and eating the other.
And I have found the better of the two,
So heed my authority.

"You did the right thing,"
God said to me on
The Day of Final Judgement,
"You switched the roll
Of toilet paper when
No one was looking."