I rush through the stacks

I was lost till i found her
now I don't know what i would without her
she has the key to the lock the binds my heart
just an eternity or a lifetime with her would be a start
I plan to build a life with her the Queen of my heart
to be honest I question whether I am enough
Love is something that people say they feel not something they can touch
the poems I write are from the heart they even keep me up at night
through these words I fight and I take flight
She is my moon in the night
I her wolf that howls to let her know I'm there
Life's little issues have been like lights leading to her soul from mine
I hope she will hear my hearts words in each line
As she reads each line time after time

This life is filled with worry
people always ask me what's so great about your story
What makes you different
Start with the mental finger print
People only see whats on the skin
Hey even I'm guilty of this simple sin
We all judge and judgement isnt bad
Yes judgment can hurt but it doesn't always make you sad
My Life of many ups an downs
60 billion twists an turn arounds
But I won I'm still living
Fighting an owning this love an beat I've been given
Welcome to my life, my world, an my mind
I'm glad to be unique, one an only, one of a kind

I finally found you
you've got my heart singing a different tune
Your name is like the sound of calm falling rain
the sound of your voice an the words you say brighten my day
I know your name and it is unique in its own
You my darling Little Girl have given me a home
You an I stand side by side through the test of time
I saw your smile an took the way you look at me as a sign
I've gotten on one knee
I ask you to marry me
Now we're engaged
I warm your heart with these words i say
I will be with you forver an always till the end of days

The whisper
The voice use the gun it'll be quicker
I fight this voice for you
This voice screams in my head
It makes me wish i was dead
I will not die tonight
I stand with you an we fight this voice
We beat mine now to be yours
You an me lets close that black door
It takes the nameless
Depression also takes the famous
This virus takes a toll
Sometimes it can even take your soul
Survivors of depression
Take from this a lesson
You're not better alone
As history's shown
Find a person that only you call home

I can feel the breeze
I can see the sea
I cant breathe
I stand in the sand
I don't feel your hand
My vision goes blurring I cant breathe
There I lay in the sand
I gasp for air
This body doesn't breathe without you there
The sand is cold
I'm frozen skin to bone
Youre the air I breathe
Till you're home this is how it will be
You're my home <3 home is where i breathe

Without her i feel souless
She'll be back but i feel hopeless
She is almost home
My heart dropped like a stone
She makes my heart beat right
She the moon in this wolf's night sky
Her name brings so many memories she never fears me
All she does is care for an love the beast

I see her in my dreams
I see her through my tears as they fall in streams
I feel her when I close my eyes
I hear her voice in the dark of all these cold nights
I smile when she crosses my mind out of the blue
I am loyal to her and only her and I'm always true
I'm hers as long as she wants me and I'll never leave
I am her lover, friend, boyfriend, and Demon
I am faithful to her and only her no matter what or where we go
I give her my love, heart, soul, strength, mind, and body
I promise that I live to love and hold thee
I treat her like my Queen and not a play thing
I write for her what I can't voice or sing
I feel like I am nothing when she is gone
I would stay outside her door after a fight till dawn
I am proud to be the one that gets to love her
I yearn to touch and hold her with the love an Angel an Demon share
I fight to be with her through hard times
I will be with her; My Angel; One and only

I was lost till I found her
I don't know what I would do without her
She holds the key to the lock on my heart
she and I strength each other we are never apart
a thousand years with here would be just a start
Her and I we stand together
Us against the world us two no others
she is my home my one refuge
she is my one and only moon
I'm her wolf I howl calling to her to show her love
she looks down at me with her bright heavenly smile from above
she comes to me with different changes
i notice them each one at a time
she is my completion of my night
i spend each day with her in silence and waiting
she is my night and day and it all goes without saying
she has my love,strength,power,body,mind,heart,and soul
my life no longer has its old tole

Being away from my life and out of the world's time
I've lost 3 months and i can't take back what's mine
Locked away from who I am
People tried to break me like dawns breaks the sky at 6 am
The people I trusted and loved locked me away
I fought and struggled and won every hour of each day
I'm free from the bonds of America's facilities
and no one can ever stand up and bring down this lone King
I have won the battle and the wars I was ****** upon
Many are still in that place and they await their break in the horizon
My friends and readers of my work I'm back for good
Thank you to all those out there that have been where I have stood

Anger people say its just an emotion
but they don't realize that anger clouds the mind
it makes a man lose his sense and piece of mind
Anger puts people in danger with a large amount of violence
and I myself have let my anger control me and now its time
I control my own anger the dangerous thing it is
I will kick its *** and not let it make me into my father of my past
i am beautiful and i am strong and i will defeat my emotions and they will always fail
and i will always prevail because i have the motivation to make it through any situation

She finds a way to make me smile
she doesn't care hold me a while
Miss Paige always finds a way
she is someone that gets me through the day
this lil girl
is my best friend in this world
she tells me I'm not a monster
Miss Paige tells me that she doesn't love any other
she says its okay to cry
Miss Paige wont let me hide
deep inside
Miss Paige is someone ill give up anything for
she is a woman that ill leave my own heart torn
Miss Paige
for her ill my life at least save
until the day she says that i am again something
other then a Shadow or a disappearing thing
i will wait with the patience of a thousand monks
Miss Paige has been given something that never stunts
she has been given something unstoppable
something that people say is impossible
unconditional unending Love
and for me thats a gift thats enough

The thing I've ask for, for so long I've ask for death for me to take my final breathe maybe the world will be better when im laid to rest because life leaves us all hard pressed then there are people like me the overly stressed and constantly depressed everyone leaves behind the person that helped the most that was there when they needed someone the most then they're gone sometimes I'm surprised i made it to the next dawn the people around me don't see that I'm drowning because I always hide it to keep their alarm from sounding and to keep them from surrounding i promised i would never try again at suicide and im still fighting my fight I've earned that right and for those out there just like me find someone to love that promises you theyll never leave they'll just be waiting for you when your ready theyll always be there to hold you steady when the weight if the world gets to **** heavy and it crushes you they'll be the one rushing to you ive ask for death and to be laid to rest but i dont think that would be for the best to have my heart stop inside my chest people depend on me so i believe the world can try an fight me but i have an army behind me if I ever speak that I'm in need now you know part of the darkness inside of me ive bared some of my soul its not white its gray so what do you say

People ask what i see when i look at myself well here it is my answer
I see a man that fits no standards I see a heart with battle scars i see a soul that's gone a little dark i see two beautiful gray/blue eyes that shine with the fire of fight i see hands covered in colluses from years of work i see a tanned body from years of being kissed by the sun i see a mind that's wild and ***** and completely insane i see a little boy at ten crying tears of fear when he tells his mom goodbye i see a boy of thirteen cry his eyes out as he tells his mom goodbye for the last time i see a mind that is piecing itself back together from multiple personality disorder i see a fighter i see a lover i see a lunatic and i see a monster but i see one other i see a Big Brother that will do anything for his sisters and i see a potential father what i see i am finally proud of and i finally understand that what i do isn't who i am that doesn't make me my past is what made me who i am and people along the way that i have loved and lost and the ones that are still with me my family thats who they're and some don't even know the true me because i dont know if they'll stay or run away like everyone else did in the past this who i am noe you know and its your choice to stay or go

Pain some people say im insane
because of how much pain i can take
there is one pain i can't take the pain of the heart the one pain that makes me fall apart who would think that someone used to being left and desserted would still be able to feel the hurting Pain to me is like a game how much can it take Pain it excites me how can that be people ask
because my mind only focusses on one pain and thats my heart
maybe one day it will stop being shattered along with my hope by people i know maybe one day it can let everyone go and just die alone
i suppose that's how it goes  
a positive spin is this i have a strong soul so ill keep fighting till i reach my goal and ill let a woman or a man hold this broken heart of gold time is on my side i hope but man the Pain just gets worse with every person that says those words "I need time, I'm sorry I'm seeing someone, I'm back with my ex sorry you weren't good enough" how can a heart handle the wars when its bleed from all the open sores
I wonder if anyone hears my heart cry in the middle of the night im losing my fight and I'm starting to believe thise people are right

Rejection makes you question what you see in your reflection
it makes you ask what am i missing
rejection makes you create a big scene
rejection rips your heart to shreds
who would have thought someone could bleed so much red
for some rejection happens so often that they can't take it and they bleed
they bleed from the blade slices they think they need
some people reject other just for fun just to see the tears run then there are those that see the tears and recognize the fear in that person and they try to rectify their mistake
but from some its already to late
so think about what rejection does before you make a really big mistake

the heart talks to the mind and the soul
then it makes a decision to make another heart feel whole
then that other heart leaves and the heart falls apart
it wishes it never chose from the start
then it becomes lost because the heart is still in love
it can never seem to get enough
but wait there is another
there is thise hearts that get to be apart of each other
Lost hearts they die an fall apart
i have had a lost heart
and i know how it is when youre falking apart
my heart has watch its lovers turn away
time after time but its fets weaker each day
can someone save this Lost heart

He is the man in mirror
the man that everyone seems to fear
but no one ever gets to see him shed a tear
this man is who i see when i look in the mirror
he has just grown year after year
but under this ruff outside
there's a sweet and kind boy trying to hide
this boy hides because he is terrified
the world has torn this lil boy
so he put up walls that cant be battle worn
only those closest to this man get to see this boy
only they get to see his true joy
That lil boy is now the man in the mirror
its time to show the world what that lil boy has grown into forever
no more tears and no more trying to severe ties
no more threats or lies
its time to let this mans heart shine a true color

I met a girl
a girl with a broken world
i saw her in a different light
and i saw that there was nobody in her life
she is beaten and bruised with words
and nobody shows her how much she is worth
but im tired of standing and watching in the background
because thats not the man i am i stand my ground
i will show this wonderful girl what love is
and how she can fight this world and rise above it
if only she would take this beasts hand
and he'll show her a new land and a new dance
fair warning people call me a monster
but im a man like no other
and im a soldier in this war of life
for my loved ones ill always fight
that means you Liyah
ill be the light for ya
for a little lady named Aaliyah Gisele
ill walk through any hell

Her laugh
gives a high that lasts
her smile makes this beast go wild
her kind words quite the whispers
the world disappears
when its me and her
she is playful
and to her I'm always loyal
for her ill go through trial
just to make her smile
ill fight all her fights
no matter day or night im there
i hold her when she is scared
even with the little things i care
her scars are just of who she is
and she has a cute little kid
i wanna be his daddy
if she would have me
she makes me fly again
for her i would give everything again and again
everyday she has made
she is mine
and man is she fine
an Angel unaffected by time
I'm her's forevermore
she holds the key to my hearts door
i didn't have to give her a tour of me
she already new me

Girls
they say they are not beautiful
they're not helpful or useful
but how can that be true
those guys who say they love you
they say it but don't mean it
they use women for their benefit
men like that don't deserve the light of day
those men who can't keep what they say
well i for one have a enough
love isn't tough
not if it's real
the type of love even outliers can feel
men and women should have that
no more this is right and that's crap
drop the walls
and stop all the heart break falls
Girls out there that a man break your world
listen to me a man don't make your worth
every woman
no matter where they come from come take the hand of this man
I'll be your friend
every Girl out there that's wanting the pain to end
listen to this and take it heart
you're gorgeous and man that's says you aint
needs to be out the door and away from you today
look in the mirror your use in life is more than those men can see
I learn that from the women in my life and the times that be
Girls you are our worlds
any man that says you're just another girl
tell him good bye and give the ******* a whirl

the Gods feared them
and now no can remember them
Kratos rode on one in god of war
but that world was torn
giant beings of the earth
long forgotten in the worlds turn
but now a different people have taken the name
and have replaced what was filled with shame
the are black and white
and together they fight as one
as a team none
stand against these men
The Gods fell because of this name
and still fear it because of the fame it has
but it seems that time has passed
who remembers that name
whose mind
will rewind time
to something ancient
to remember something in lost stasis

She is a mother
she has more children than any other
her care she gives
but for what we do i wonder how she forgives
we take her for granted
but continues to give us chances
Mother Earth
gives birth to our life
she continues to fight
even when everyday she loses yet another light
its time we give what we took
just like our ancestors so long ago in those books
right now humans are nothing but crooks
that includes me
all i want is for the world and its people to be free
and not destroy this world
because she is a big beautiful wonder girl
she is Mother Earth

she fixes her hair
and she uncovers her fair skin
she hopes he'll notice these small things
she walks into school and ignores what the other boys think
he sees her and is speechless
she is so gorgeous
he says to all his friends "leave us"
he whispers i see you did something new
she looks into his eyes so blue
he noticed he really does look at her
he whispers that she looks perfect
she burst into tears
he smiles and holds her for what feel like years
she buries her face in his chest
he is the best he know her better than the rest
and he'll never let her go
never let her be alone
to everyone else she is no one
unnoticed
he says that he has made her his choice

When i met her she crashed my world
she was a gorgeous girl
i had no one
but now i see that i was used for just fun
three times i took the bait
three times she made my heart break
to bad that our love was only half way
I'd do anything for her even now
and i watch from the background
my dearest friend came next
and he seems to have it all but not just yet
hopefully when she says the words i love you
they'll completely true
half way love
isn't and wasn't enough
never get caught up in half way love

Demons and Angels
how they be faithful
to one another
how can they be lovers
when they're opposites
no one ever see it
in a different light
no one sees that opposites can be right  
Opposites attract
her perfect beauty and light to his
danger and darkness
these two opposites attract and can be right
Love opens the door
are you going to walk through it or stay stuck on the floor with the usual and safe tradition
what is your position on opposites
sometimes they can be the closest
so let your heart and love find someone who is your opposite
you just might find that one who is been chosen for you

she that one girl that's all alone
but then he came along
he saw her scars  
then he showed her the stars
it all began with a broken heart
then it all changed when he came
he called her by name
he said he would show her love and not use it as a game
now her heart is whole again
he is her lover and her best friend
and she'll never be alone or forgoten

She says she love me
but has she seen what hides beneath
has she seen my beast
could she really love
an Angel fallen from above
people have called us a monster
but she seems to love us like none of the others
I'm speechless
she has seen all of us
and she is still here
she still wants to be near
she has seen us shed our tears
we have told her our fears
she has seen the beast
hidden beneath
she has one as well
who would have thought I'd find another Angel from hell
she is perfect
and she is beyond worth all of it
She is more than my love
and i want no other but her
she makes us as light as a feather
she makes us fly
and for her I'd give my life
she makes it seem all alright

hand in hand
sun and moon
their in constant unison
hot and cold lovers hand in hand
one can not leave the other
for another
and they have no father or mother
no sister or brother
for them there is no others
they are nothing more than the world's
first eternal lovers
and their love is beyond words
they show us what love is really worth
and they have done it since their birth
in this we find
love of the purest kind

Angels go unseen by most people
some may seem evil
but if you look deep below the surface
you'll see more than a pretty face
you might just see a heart of gold
and gloriously pure soul
i found my Angel she set me free
to be just me
and I have fallen again but this time i have my wings
and I still have that Angelic voice to sing
just what she means to me
she broke my chains
this Angel helped me change
into the man i am supposed to be
she doesn't know how much she means to me
words cant describe
how high she makes my heart fly
but in time I hope that eternity
well let this Angel see
what she means to me
she brought a Lost and broken Angel home
and made him known
never to be alone at last
she understands his past
he is finally home
never to be alone
look for your Angel
and you shall see
exactly what I mean

People say that the dark is dangerous
the dark it hides things that are strange to us
but the dark just shows what the light doesn't
there are always to sides to the world
but you cant have one without the other
and light doesn't always mean that it is a good thing
Light can be dangerous and make your weary
for some the dark is peaceful
and it keeps their secrets
for others monster and demons steam from it
but it is up to the individual to choose
light and dark are inside both me and you
I chose to be in the dark
but my heart is of light
and I guide others through the dark of life
will you be the light and create the darkness
Light and Dark which one is you and which one has your heart become
and which one will you give people that don't know how to have enough

The human mind can be kind
and it can be confined
the mind says that it is just fine
the human mind can lose all track of time
but the mind can also be dangerous
and it can have things that are contagious
but you have to realize that this mind
is a wonder thing most of the time
it shows us how to love
and how to be enough
and how to trust one another
sometimes we seem to smothered
by it
like an itch that you cant scratch
or a dream that you cant catch
but its alright
because you have to except that in time
your mind will find
someone who is like you and that loves you
and most thing that its true love too soon
the end up with a broken heart
some get it right from the start
its a miracle for some  
Love that I have now seems like miracle
and its crystal you know
I pray that i never see the end of it
but there is someone else and i wander if i can love them both
could i have them both to hold
my mind thinks it has an answer
at this time in life I swear
i hope that My Goddess is fair
but only my mind and
time itself will tell
whatever the choice made
ill be enough for the one that stays with me
and forevermore ill be all i can be

There are those in the world that know not of love
those people can't see the angels from above
so they go through life and most lose their fight
I say that's just not right
so I've opened my wings in flight
I hope will inspire others to be that light
at the end of the tunnel
their hearts fall apart
and they don't know where to start
so they try everything
but nothing works how can that be
no one can be alone in this life
so show them that we are Angels
and show them that they to can take flight
show them how to dance
and how to take a chance
because every step you take
is another move in your dance
of life and there is someone up above
watching your show
and waiting to take you from the depths below
but till then those that are lost
and are paying the cost
without know how to love
let us show them how
show them the power
the blessings that they seek
and that they need
and all I can say is Blessed Be The Ones in the Darkness
and let them show you they way
they'll show you to sway to the music
and how to use it
Blessed Be The Ones in the Dark

Living a life in the shadows
feeling all the pain of everyone
every single day
people ask how do you know so
my answer is I am a Shadow
a man of the night
who plays with all his might
A man that plays for keeps
and lets the world see
in time that man behind the mask
and the one that completes every task
behind the scenes
and no one knows he means
well here is the answer
I do it for what is mine
those people that I'll risk all the time
those that I'll give my Life
I pray that one day everyone will understand
and be able to have someone to take them by the hand
and lead the way to that light at the end of the tunnel
and if they ain't got one I'll be there for ya'll
you just got to call

There is a person inside
they're always crying
slowing dying in the dark
they never seem to stop falling apart
but that person is you before the world started beatin
late at night you can hear those thoughts whisperin
and you start seeing that knife as a light at the end of the tunnel
then you meet her that one person
who knows how your hurtin
she makes you so happy and everything seems okay
and you take her hand and make a life
until that one night when a man rips it all away
with the stab of a sharp knife in the night
you want to die and because you cant live this life
but before you go you want to make it right in your mind
so you set him on fire right there in the yard as a bold show
then you fall and let it all go
and you smile because you get to see your lover one more time
except this time its forever
just like you promised when you were together that one last time
she said she was your forevermore
and you said that nothing would take you away
you promised that you would never see that day
now you spread your wings and sing with her
she smiles and whispers i missed  you
and you say I love you
remember suicide isn't the answer
but some of the stuff you swear
all for love there's no more care
so spread those wings and fly
through the air