Not long before you came around,
An empty heart and lost soul were found.
He who stood where you do now,
Our hearts and souls that took a vow.
Our given trust, our emotions ran deep,
A quickened clock, rushed to weep.
Then came time to speak the mind,
Looking for words I could not find.
Before your breath could unveil the truth,
Before my heart held its proof,
Words were spoken in my ear,
Heart wrenching words I’d always feared.
With heavy limbs, cheeks soaked and red,
Air meaningless, life was dead.
Like the few others who came before,
The ones who just walked out the door,
Its strength and power held within,
That picks one up to start again.
As strength grows, the heart soon finding,
Where you stand now, two hearts binding.
Forgetting scars I once knew,
Every time that I’m with you,
Like an open book you read so well,
Reading page after page you can always tell.
Like the words are written on my face,
All those worries, gone, without a trace.
Time now passes, weeks go by,
Remembering that incredible Fourth of July,
No matter the time, no matter the day,
My feelings for you could never be pushed away.
The more days past the more I knew,
I would never again, meet anyone quite like you.
Butterflies in my stomach I couldn’t believe,
That months would go, yet, I still perceived,
That you still felt the way you did,
On that fourth when all fears hid.
But...
Without a warning, no doubt at all
You took a step back, you shielded you wall
From your actions, my heart plundered
The more time passed, the more I wondered.
Where you went, and why you shut down.
Why the hell were you not around.
All I saw was an empty shell
Thoughts of the past, you couldn’t dispel.
Put in a place you didn’t belong
Finally a decision you could no longer prolong.
Two years pushed you, broke you down inside
Two years taken, that you couldn’t rewind.
Past all the feelings, in the back of my mind,
Remembering why, I let my heart become blind.
Being reminded as time passed,
Knowing what we have, might not last.
Ticking time hit the clock,
I cannot run, I cannot walk,
Away from time which haunts me so.
Away from heartache, I’ve come to know.
Every moment spent with you,
Another memory I won’t undo.
I’ve grown so close, in fact too much,
Close to something I cannot touch.
They pass again, the hands of time,
And I hate the way there is no rhyme,
No rhyme, no reason, I’m left behind.
Praying… wanting time to just rewind.
Watching you leave, my heart feels death
Feeling our last kiss, our final breaths.
Keep in your mind, always know
That is was time, that let us grow
That is wasn’t long before you came around,
It was my heart and soul that you found.
No one can stand where you do now,
Because my heart and soul took a vow.
A given trust, emotions ran deep,
These are words to remember, words to keep.
<3   <3   <3   <3   <3
Time let me see, something I felt… something I already knew
The moment you walked away, I realized just how much…
I truly loved you.

You didn’t have to but you did
You took her in while others hid
You gave her a home and food to eat
You told her you loved her, how very sweet
We played out side and ran around
Then come inside when it was time to slow down
You didn’t have to but you did
You held her close while others hid
As the years pass on and pass by
We saw the weakness in her eyes
No doctor with reason could understand
What this god sent angel had
You didn’t have to but you did
You protected her while others hid
She was so special, Haylee May was
Special in ways, this was because
For in her eyes, twas not of sin
It like a human, who became our kin
You didn’t have to but you did
You loved her like family while others hid
Time goes on, with each day and week
Are precious angel now grows weak
Doctors again don’t know what to do
Then one suggest we think things through
We all sit in silence as we talk it out
This angel cannot suffer with out a doubt
You didnt have to but you did
You made a choice while others hid
July 5 2010
We all said our goodbyes and then again
You did have to but you did
You made the choice while others hid
I stayed with her by her side
And watched her blue human eyes
I told I loved her and said it would be ok
For heaven is where she went that day
I looked in her eyes and held her tight
As I told her it would be alright
We didn’t have to but we did
We sent her to heaven while others hid
We ended her suffering and with love in mind
You made the right choice, you must not be blind
You became her mother, and her best friend
You didn’t have to… but you did….

Writing this doesn't mean as much as hearing it face to face, but this is the only way that I know how to say what has been on my mind.
I know we haven’t talked much, and we haven’t seen each other in a long time… but you know me, always thinking. I wanted you to know that I miss you.
Not like, I’m missing you because I regret everything or I want to see you again. A genuine, I miss you. It’s weird to think that someone I grew so close to is now a total stranger.  That I sometimes go an entire day without thinking of you… even just a little.  
Most of the time, I let myself forget and let go because it seems easier that way. And then I find myself thinking once again, because of a poem I wrote, or a picture of you slipped into a page of a book, or kept locked in my phone. And then the full weight of what’s been forgotten comes crashing into me once more. It’s not regret. We had our reasons for ending it, and they’re completely valid as ever. Back at the start however, we didn't have reason for anything.
It all just kind of happened.
We didn't have common interests, or similar goals. Most of the time we didn't get along that well.
But you know, we didn't need a reason to fall for each other, we just did.
The reasons came at the end, and everything that’s happened since has been all the reasons why. And that’s good. Its means that one day I might find someone I won’t have to say good bye to. That I will find someone who filled my heart with the love that you let me feel.
Mostly though, I miss just loving someone knowing that maybe, they love you back just as much, and that’s all.
I guess what I am trying to say is I really do hope things are good with you. I hope everything is great. I hope you have found or find a love that’s all the things ours couldn't be and I hope I find that too. But a small part of me hopes you will still remember what it was like before all the reasons… and that
Well..
you miss me too…

There was never a set day
We really didn’t say goodbye
The day you moved away
Was the day my heart had died

Time is my enemy
An enemy I cannot ****
Yet the day we met each other
Time, for a moment, seemed to stand still

To our first embrace
To a once in a lifetime kiss
From your smile and your laugh,
It’s our time together ill truly miss

The songs say it right you know
I’d do it all just to be…
Even form a mere moment or two
For it to be us, just you and me

It’s an act of selfishness
To want so much from you
Some may say I’m greedy
I don’t know what else I can do

I’ve written you letters,
Letters and poems you will never read
for the true love we had
Signed just for you, your Ashlie

You may never ever read this
You might never know how I feel
You may never quite understand
How my love love for you was real

Though I’ve begged you to come back
We both know it couldn’t be
Distance put up a wall
That even love couldn’t beat

I expected too much
Too much of what you couldn’t give
We let each other finally go
So we may both have the chance to live

You would go your own way
I was forced to go mine
Though, I’m not sure where it is I am going
Or that I am following a straight line

Somewhere deep inside me
And I hope it’s inside you too
That maybe your path is to find me
And mine is again to find you

In my world
I see you face
Your wonderful smile
You love and grace
In my world
You feel out of place
And yet I see
Your love and grace
No matter what
Color and race
I still see
Your love and grace
I can't tell you
What my father will say
About our love
About our grace
I will love you
At any time or place
And what I love about you
Is your love and grace

To love

is to be vulnerable

without holding

yourself back