The greatest skill I've attained
Is convincing people I'm okay.
It's a peculiar feeling
I surely sense I'm beginning to fray

Life is a disease
I self-medicate with drugs and alcohol
Taunted by the constant reminder that
We are not special

Just another reason to
Retreat further into one’s self
Making a more secure asylum
For what comes back from where I delve

I was confident in my sadness
Given it's my only talent
Others saw it as Melancholy Madness
With it I felt twisted and gallant

Living in the narcissistic megalomania state
From vitriol there's no solace
A fluid everlasting berate
Every utterance drenched in malice

This is my everyday
It's not pretty but it's home
Is it truely better to burn out or fade away?
Anyway I'm used to being alone

you took away my childhood, for what?
wanting to get a fix, is that it mom?
open your door, you tell me keep it shut.
i wanted your love, not a ticking bomb.
i had to suffer because you were an addict,
raised by my sister until i was twelve.
no matter what, there was always conflict.
but look mom, you're holding the helve.
your childrens lives were in your hands.
for our father was gone and you loved your pills,
i cant tell anyone about it because no one understands
that our own mother couldnt even pay our bills.
so tell me mom, was it worth it?
your children hate you and you're alone.
were the pills and other drugs worth our childhood
and your happiness?

I know I'm just a cure for your loneliness,
That's okay cause I'm lonely too.
Loneliness feels empty,
I feel empty, how about you?
We try to escape that loneliness,
As we meet between the sheets.
And for a very brief moment,
Our loneliness, takes the back seat.

I'd rather live my life not knowing
When I'll pack up my belongings
And wave cold goodbyes to my loved ones
Watch them heal themselves at the funeral
Which isn't really for me
But for their hurt hearts
It'll be then when my world transforms
To black and white
Colorless
No more happiness
They cry when I'm born
They cry when I die
And thy cry with every little other thing
That's hurt me in my life
Why is sadness a thing?
Sadness is like a *** of gum
It has that initial burst of flavor
Which slowly fades away
But you still chew it
Because it's there
And you just for some reason
You don't let it go
Until you go to bed
Where you can just experience
A nightmare
Instead
Though I'd rather not know my death day
Until the snow is melted
And I am imbetted
In the ground

You are words I do not know,
From worlds within and far below,
With eyes required that do not grow,
Comprised of lights that do not show.

You hear and heed not,
In tow I go,
You speak and breathe not,
hope though, I stow.

This ground you tread not,
I still search low,
Your vapors perfume not,
For me on winds they flow,
I know.