things are getting better
but everything still feels a Lil blur
like I'm not "living"
but drifting by
just drifting
being on "autopilot"
going with the flow of things
yet it also feels like
I'm waiting in line
constantly waiting in a never-ending line
for absolutely nothing

you fell in love with my poetry
not me

I've stopped time
now what?
has your crime
been solved
has our love
evolved
have our problems been into water dissolved
no
nothing changed

I'd cry you an ocean
but you wouldn't even tear me a drop

to me I'm okay
is nothing more than a word
I never felt that way
there was no one to make me feel that way
how I feel is
                                     I'M
                                                  NOT


                                           OKAY

it just took
one word from her
to break the trust
we built for years

Life is a strangling hand
A dusty road that leaves
specks of brown dust in eyelashes
Stains on ruddy cheeks and sleeves

The past pinches like
a lobsters' black claw
The path towards the horizon
has thorns that lash like strange jaws

The now is a tide of color
washing in and out
like breath in the lungs
twisting green and quickly draught

Lying on the sand
a sun-baked crustacean
I watch the waves
clamoring
one over the other
coming to lift me
and carry me away
to a watery Atlantis
but with each approach
they retreat
coy paramours
coaxing
but then withdrawing

lies
truth
beauty
beast
happy
depressed
popular
lonely
me
you
them
us
life
death

pain is your friend
it's your ally
it tells you when you've been
seriously wounded
and you know
what the best thing about pain is?
it tells you
you're not dead yet

live in silence
scream in agony
lay on thorns
run on fire
maybe than
I'll think about it

Two broken hearts filled with love for one another but slip apart. Will, we ever see each other again or will we just be another memory that fades away. We live another day but as time passes away, the memories will slowly fade away. We're left alone on this path we have to take. Will this be the end for us or just a start to a new beginning.

the perfect death
is very beautiful
it's coming soon
ice and snow will cover the world
a beautiful scene
                       the perfect death indeed
                          it's coming soon
                  a stunning view of the world covered in snow

I'm a poet
I write
for the sole reason
of writing
I just want to bleed
my heart out
on this piece of paper

end things
before they end you

after killing me
you left a
purple hyacinth
on my grave
that's funny
I never gave you permission
to leave it on my grave

eyes
surprise
us
thus
we're
unclear
whats
reality

you want me to face reality
This worlds brutality
I’m not ready
My hands
My feat
Aren’t steady
I feel one look at it
And I see myself destroyed bit by bit
My eyes burning
My hands turning
My life flashing
My thoughts crashing
I can’t think straight
Is this the world
We wished to create

I took my knife out
ready to be tainted in red
and it makes me want to cry
I don't want to do it
I want to believe
we can be pure
but I'm
              r
                 e
                     d

Left in marshes,
or under rocks.
The rejected nature,
is still a part of us.

In honey bees are made,
and flies are caught.
Bugs crawl through the branches,
and are snapped by frogs.

The green of moss
shows the life of earth.
And the beetle red
is nature's birth.

don't compare yourself to other people
there's no comparison between
the sun and moon
they shine when the times right

in a garden
I blend in the crowd
in a vase
I'm so alone
in this world
where do I belong?

run
towards the sun
a being you can't reach
a being they beseech
yet it doesn't listen
his cheeks glisten
with tears
yet it ignores for years
so run away from it
not towards that ****

Your revelations don't look nothing like the pictures
You read between the lines and don't stick to the scriptures
You only follow rules if others follow with you
That doesn't sound so holy only playing victim
You were standing there like an angry god
Counting out my sins just to cross them off
Saying that my tongue was too loud to trust
And that my blood couldn't keep you
My dear, you're not so innocent
You're fooling Heaven's gates
So you won't have to change
You're no saint, you're no savior

if I disappeared would you notice
will you remember my scent
stephanotis
remember
that's what I smell like
the perfume just costs a cent
you can smell me from what I write
so keep reading
I'll be here from November to December
under the moonlight and sunlight

"someone somewhere"
is searching for you
in every
person they meet

i'm selfish
i like the high  of watching the blood drain
from beautiful women
you can't blame me

this filthy world has gone to **** anyway
why can't I have a little fun with it
we're all going to ******* die sometime
no one cares anymore

I became friends with my shadow
it was always there for
it slept by my side
walked with me
danced with me
but it never had emotion
so I gave it mine
as we share our emotions
and our lives
we slowly become one
I fell in love with my shadow
since it will never abandon me
no matter how I am
so I plan to live the rest of m life with it

sometimes I just want to
                                   d
                                      i
                       ­                 s
                                           a
                                              p
               ­                             p
                                  ­        e
                                       a
                                     r
find my shattered
                                  p        i
                   ­                              e     c
                                                              e­ s
but I just can't seem to
                                             f
                                   i                 n
                                             d
them.

I found some steel, not made of steel,
May flesh reveal what I conceal,
Was made to feel I’d shatter or peel,
A battered seal, blood-splatter the field,
You wish to gorge upon what is forged,
From a caste of our Lord,
If faith is rendered then I am tempered,
And welded clean, I melded me,
A failure to erode what dwells in he,
No object of you can quail my need,
Sheep cease feigning to best the beast,
See here, I’ve been pressed by heat,
Repressed by sleet, distressed by greed,
Erected a bunker of flesh for my retreat,
Evolved from sand, we fall to sand,
Held the flame to harden my name,
And never again shall I withstand,
An attempt to shatter,
A shatterproof man.

shoot me
it hurts less

show me you love me
Don’t just say it
Carve it down on trees
Words that’ll last for centuries
Write as you see fit

Show me you love me
Scream it to the world
In words twisted and curled
come at them like storm
Our love
Will be the show we perform

I want to cry
but my tears have run dry
my heart has moved on
but it crashed on the way
I'm awake'
but my eyes refuse to see
maybe I'm better of shut down
cause I've run out of battery

Silence Loves to Hide
the Feelings
We Carry So Loudly
in Our Hearts

silence
is the most powerful scream

on the battlefield
the silence
tortures me
the screams on my blade
a faithful friend
by my side
yet he doesn't make a sound
so silent
yet I can hear him say "run"
live for me and you

chills tremble inside my skin

covered by despondent stone

metal edges carve vicious truths

inside my skull, on a canvas of bone.


I bury pain and terror deep, but

quiet cracks are spidering out

rivers of ice run down my cheeks

and still, I crumble without sound.

life was just a game at the beginning
we'd run out and play
we were always winning
now suddenly we lost everything
                                    yet we're still singing
                      singing the same song with a different melody
but the melody changed from  happy to sad

remember me
now time cannot erase
I can hear your whispers in my mind
I've become what you can not embrace
our memory will be my lullaby
sing me to sleep
why don't you sing me to sleep

we were driving
sirens in the distance
someone died
it's funny
how often people
around us die
we don't even care

I feel like a prisoner in my own skin
These scars that I let sink in
Are now pulling me closer to the brink
I may not have the courage to go away
But the reality makes me want to take that path anyway
The sharp blade keeps tearing my skin apart
But these scars on my body do not compare to the ones on my heart
I constantly find myself standing over the edge
Trying to wake up from this dread
But am afraid, one misstep and all I will see is Red.

Eternal sleep

Questions why

Answers keep

Reasons die

Darker still

Winter's night

Emotions ****

Souls' contrite

Time suspended

Final breath

As intended

Promises death...

I loved sleep
a second away from reality
death for a moment
heaven for a minute
hell for a while
but when they came
the sleepless nights
they made me so powerless
even when stabbed
my eyes they were open
so just for a moment
let me sleep
so for a while, I can be with mother
hah
her warmth
I forget it on the sleepless nights

I was shot to death
laughed to death
I cried to death
but I came back for you every time
to make sure you don't go through the same
I just wanna see you smile
so smile for me

Soaring      Looking
                      through                down
                      the sky                  below
                          just you             nowhere
                                  and I.    to go.
          
                                                      We found
                                                  a                    This
                                            cloud                            is
                                            with                            where
                                                no                          we
                                                others                will
                                                      around.    be.
                                                                              ------
                                                                                    -----
                                                                                          you and me

one of the hardest feelings
in the world
for me
used to be
the one that
reminds you how
nobody loves you
which I now believe
to be grossly untrue for,
there'll always be
somebody who
dares to love you
in silence,
from afar

I laugh in sorrow
and slowly drown
when I know how to swim
but my mind has forgotten
the action of happiness
and power
I'm weak and drowning in sorrow
but no one helps

look at the stars
                              isn't it bizarre
I see you up there
like a tiny flare
                              in that huge sky
-
you left me
                              in this world to die
                                 we could've gone together
                                         but just like the weather
      you're unpredictable
     but isn't this just typical
-
                I believe in love
                  so we will reunite above
as our children will gaze at us
I gaze at you

we are like stars
in endless void
forever faithful
to exist
in emptiness