I can't write anything
    that doesn't sound slightly stupid
            anymore
                    my words haven't kept up
with my maturing. Or so it seems.

         maybe I'm just outgrowing
   the stupid words I used to use to describe
things. but maybe is also another stupid word.

maybe maybe maybe
          the word dances off my tongue. which is totally
(completely) repulsive.
        why should a word
that sits on the top of everyone's
        tongue
               waiting to strike
dance. it's a drug they don't warn you about
     ****** if you use it ****** if you don't.
        
the next best excuse
                     to 'I don't know'-- couldn't tell you how many times
i've held back because i clutched that word
     like it was a part of me.

maybe. here it is again. maybe, I thought that "maybe"
     really was a part of me. it's hard to distance yourself
from something so excruciatingly
     fitting.
there was something about "maybe" that just felt
necessary. as though certainty never stood a chance.

the worst of things being that we were all defined by our cowardice and that we couldn't stand
       the thought of being wrong (not even once.)

nobody  saying anything
with any certainty. they knew how fragile
the world was. none of us were
strong enough to deal with being any shade of WRONG.
we're all too insecure to be throwing around words like that anyways.

the devil comes the devil goes
when he comes no one knows.

he can climb inside your mind
put in thoughts of the evil kind.

steps inside and takes control
as he tries to steal your soul.

he will take you to his hell
and lock you up inside a cell.

there you will become his slave
a servant of this evil knave.

There are 7 billion, 290 million people in this world and I want to believe I matter.
I know its a lie but prefer it to the alternative.
There are millions of student athletes and I want to believe I will go pro.
There are hundreds of millions of writers and I want to believe I will be the next Dickinson.
There are some 3 billion men in the world and I want to believe I'm going to be HER one and only love.
There are 7 billion, 290 million and 1 thousand people in this planet and I have the audacity to think I matter.