there's blood on my sheets
and blood on my arm
and nothing I can say
will bring you harm
you will never love me
you will never care enough
for me to stop all this pain
for me to be tough
it would be so easy
if I could yell at you
but you're untouchable
and so blinded with your view
everything looks great right now
but I don't think it will last
you just think about the moment
you ignore the past
you can't pretend it didn't happen
the pain you've caused isn't over
you have to pay for your actions
this won't hit you until you're sober
you have broken me in two
and you never stopped to check
if I had mended in any way
but I've just stayed a wreck
I'm lost without you
but I'm lost in my own mind
it's a vast ocean of terror
rough, stormy, and never kind
I'm done waiting on your lifeboat
I know it won't come
but sure go back to her
go back where you're from
make her so happy
enjoy the good times
because just you wait
things will not stay in line

Everybody has scars; I just wear mine on my arms

I think his name in my sleep
It is on repeat as I drift between consciousness and somewhere else
But I can never let him know that his name is a mantra
I repeat to help me get through the days
But I have been realizing that the more I say it
The less meaning it has
His name stops having an affect
I've gotten to the place where I hate hearing it
But I love it
I say it to remind me of the pain
And remind me of my love
My love unreturned
How could someone get me to care so ******* much
And then turn around and pretend nothing changed
But so much has, my love. So much has

I'm in love with someone who doesn't care
Is there anything worse?
He promised he would always be there
But he ******* lied
He wrote his name on my brain
But I couldn't even tell him mine

People wonder why I build so many walls
I just tell them, look around!
Do you see anyone left?
Everyone who could get into my walls
whispered the words I long to hear
"I'll always be here. I'm not leaving"
To get through my password protected gates
And then they look around
Sight see
Explore
Find nothing except burnt and broken pieces
But my pieces don't fit together anymore
I am not a puzzle that just takes concentration
I cannot be fixed by any one person
I can promise you that the damage you do
Will be exceeded by the next one
They will not be able to fix me either
I'm sorry
I'm sorry you can't figure me out
I'm sorry you left me with more scars than you found me with
I'm sorry I don't know how to value myself
I'm sorry I can't relate to someone more put together
You were the puzzle I wanted to solve
But you did your own solving
You came to me less broken
And expected me to be the same glued together creation
I wanted you to be my glue
But you aren't glue
You're a sledge hammer
You aren't sure where to pound to help out
So you just start beating and beating
And breaking and breaking
Shattering the few pieces left
And then walking out of my walls
Wondering why
You couldn't fix my puzzle
With a hammer

loving you is a delicate affair
I go months thinking you don't care
only to have you texting me sweet things
I feel like you're making me dance on strings
balancing on what I want and what is right
my future with you is never bright
but why is it all I desire?
you leave a ******* fire
all over the people you touch
maybe I just care about you too much
the burns I suffer are only surface
without the pain I have no purpose
I wish you could just leave me alone
but my heart is for you to own
no one else can get through
my walls are not new
they have become so thick
but for you they opened like a trick
they will open whenever you ask
please. please come back.