I exist outside of him
A strange concept to process
Eleven years will bind you to a man
Seperation is a storyteller
A strange concept to process
This time apart has told a story
Of a woman reclaiming her sanctuary
I exist outside of him
We are over
Alas!
I am still breathing

i cannot comprehend this
what makes sense is senseless
this senselessness is endless
so in the end i comprehend
enough to play pretend
but common sense tells me
that wars create sores
that are more or less forever
i cannot comprehend this letter
so i better carry on with this
senselessness which is endless
unless perhaps i end this my self

for once i would like someone
to love me just as much as i love them
for once i would like someone to be all in
what is it like to be chased?
instead of forever chasing
what is it like to be someone's everything?
for once i would like someone
to have a heart as full as mine
for once i want to be on someone's mind
for once i want the path to run both ways
always,
i am the one who loves
from an empty hallway
with nothing to say
besides love me,
love me
love me
love me,
back.

Today is empty.
Nothing in my heart.
No brew of emotion.
Love seems lost.
Waiting for a toss
of sweet gentle feeling
in my path.
So even.
Next week will bring a wave.
But nothing now.
Might as well sleep
as write.

I crave intimacy
Not the type that subconsciously comes to mind -
The connection
Between one soul,
To another  
Bleeding pure, genuine
Devotion.
I crave fidelity
An enduring exchange
I don't want to be physically touched;
I want to feel my internal organs
Spark.
I want to embrace it  
Savoring every moment

A sudden downpour
People rushing round like mad
The wet look is back

Dad, I am going to try and write this
It may be a poem
It may not
But from my heart
I miss you
I remember the last time I kissed you
Your eyes were closed
They opened wide
As I kissed your forehead
In that terrible place
So white and clean
Where people die
But you will never die
Dad
I love you so much
And you will always live on
In my heart
Forever
God, I miss you so much
It's so hard to write through the tears