She pulled out the dagger in my back and stuck it in your heart,

if you would bleed tears for when she did,

she’d carve hearts in my skin, leave scars in the same lips that kiss you at night and say, I love you

my love she’ll let me leave drops of hurt in the palm of your hand,

let me pour out my soul to throw this same crumpled up ball of paper against the wall when she comes plowing

into my life again but hearts’ll rebound was that paper ball falls back to me, and our demons

are only frightening so long as we have no protection

to fight them and as long as I am sheltered with you she can’t touch us.

With my head on your chest, ear pressed to your racing heartbeat

Hands intertwined like vines in a windy vineyard

Steady arms held still

Pulling me closer, tighter, never letting go

Rise and fall of excited yet slow deep breaths against the steady light fall of the moving fantasy stories on the wall

Caught and tangled as one

the love of my life is absolutely perfect,

yet just a little jealous of a teddy bear:
we hug the same way, and he’s so much better,

just be with him

even though it can’t happen now.
he always says how i’m perfect,

even if i know he's always just

echoing my thoughts about him.

how much he wants to sit, talk, laugh,
cuddle,
love, live.

pulling me closer, never letting me go,

he took away the steel blanket that my demons
had shrouded me with,

refuses to let me cry, shake with fear,

or fade into my own random obscurity.

I can hear his heartbeat beating next to me
Thump-de-thump-de-thump-de-thump
It’s like a drum
Beating to the rhythm of life

I was 13 when I found him.

He was strong
The way he used to stand next to me
Towering, but not quite
He was a tree
A figure of authority
Show of power, confidence, poise

We weren’t the same
Everyone dubbed us ‘the couple’
He was the popular nerd
Always knew the answers to everything
Strong opinions
While I was…well
I was the wallflower
Sheltered and supported by his strong and tall roots

We were young love
A relationship built entirely on chocolate and flirting
The way you could weave your words around me
Like a warm fleece blanket
In the glistening snow
Around the hearth
His arms wrapped strongly around me
Holding me in, but never letting me fall

My hands fit perfectly in his
Always
Like puzzle pieces
Little nooks and niches resting in each other
At the end of a long day

And his eyes
They spoke of the ocean
Waves crashing back onto shore
Coming back to me every time
A clash
The way my chocolate eyes met his candy ones
And I knew that everything would be all right

I want to fall in love with
kisses in the morning, and
cuddling at night;

baking cookies on Saturday afternoons,
where I get to find flour in my hair at night;

singing new music in the car,
discussing politics over dinner.

I want to fall in love with
deep eyes, soft lips, strong arms;

movie nights, karaoke, open mics,
slow dancing, fancy dinners;

goofy inside jokes,
relentless teasing,
and a bit of friendly competition.

I want to fall in love with
outdoors summer adventures,
bright city lights over the holidays;

long walks on the beach,
nights spent under the stars.

I want to fall in love with
acceptance, tolerance, unyielding love;

forever and always,
you.

And maybe
I like the sound of rain
at night

because it means

I’m not the only one crying.

dear crush,

i hate my ability to imagine what together would be like with you and not have it now

but i know i love your eyes when you like something

and everytime you say you heard a pickup line and wanted to use it on someone i wanted you to use it on me

i love that you don’t get mad if i know something you don’t

but that there’ll always be a competitive edge in you with me

i love laying down and watching bollywood movies, thinking it could be us

and i hate thinking that i might not mean anything to you at all

i love the stories i hear about you talking about me

i hate my lack of courage to say something to you

i love to imagine what forever would be like with you