I hate you for the right ones.

I never understood
how flowers grew through concrete
until I saw the smile slice through your sad eyes.

And your voice echoed
like screams in an empty corridor
after losing the only thing that mattered to you.

You wore your pride like a crown,
didn't let anyone tear you down
but sometimes the throne was too much pressure.

You poisoned your spectators
slowly, like secondhand smoke
before giving them a breath.

Consequences do not apply
when your arrogance is blind
and you play the man in the sky.

But you will fall to your knees
because it's Judgment Day,
and you're the world's biggest sinner.

terrapine trannies on trains going haywire southbound alignments crack in the sidewalk cement smile framed by fake curls the color of old gold
old mold smells the same as new mold
but less abundant
gather here
go there
you didn't stay with me
in that dream i had of the most beautiful place i'd ever seen
you said this is nice, now let's go.
i'd bruised my knees to get to that place
i'd scratched my cheeks and calloused my feet to find that place.
it wasn't like the other dream, that other place with the waterfall and the pond full of oil.
James with his old silvertone telling me of the gaseous things.
it was pure,
nothing with skin had led me there
and i was the only thing that cared to be there
under the tree with the green leaves
like any other
bent down
away from the sun and then back up again
there was no where to hide in this place.
no cotton to lay over your body and face
the ground was uncomfortable and perfect
you are awake in this place
you cannot keep your head tilted anyway but up
but anyway, sometimes beauty is less intriguing than something grotesque.
there is much less place for mystery in a clean place than there is in the depths of a mess.
your voice gets more viscous as your words fall out of place
but the feeling..
it translates through the angles of your knuckles
the nothingness your hands grasp onto
it's something big
your fingers are wide
like your mouth that stutters over your domino mind
you know what i mean.
dont you?
we want you to.
i mean,
come on.

People pleaser.
Socialite.
Constant agreer.
Doing it right.
I bet you sleep so soundly at night.
I bet you sleep so soundly at night.

Someone different.
Something else.
Don't need nobody.
Don't need your help.
You want in.
I want out.

Attract and repel.
Attract and repel.

One solves a riddle.
The other lives a dream.
One longs to be loved.
The other wants to be free.

You say so many things that I can't feel.
And even though they can be pretty,
dreams aren't real.

Dreams aren't real.

My father made a new friend
Mother does not approve of.
Draped in orange and white,
bears a fire in her he cannot handle.

But with lips pressed against her
he took in her hidden ugliness.
She was too clingy.
He said,
"I can't breathe."

Those three words became the worst we'd ever heard
right behind
"You have cancer."

Time became a distant tune;
waiting,
waiting,
waiting.

My father has expiration dates
tattooed under his eyelids.
He plans his funeral like the 50th birthday party he will never get
but there will be too much blurry vision and black,
no one will know the difference.

1.  It is hard to love beautiful when it is made of porcelain.
2. You cannot tear off your flesh to keep someone warm and expect to be fine.
3. Thunderstorms and the way you say my name both make me fearful.
4. Breathing in toxic fumes will make your lungs collapse and your heart ignite.
5. You taught me that making love to your mouth was the only way I'd ever be heard.
6. Men do not love like women who love like breathing is not a priority.
7. There is proof God exists.
8. Burning down the truth while it is still in your mouth is not poetic.
9. You can't wipe the blood from your hands if it's been there for too long.
10. Purple is not the color of royalty, it is the color of sin.