She's very much alive
But she is dead to me
The decision wasn't mine
She wanted to be
A tombstone in my mind
A grave inside my heart
A perpetual funeral
That has no end or start
There is no wreath to set
No flowers to lay
The only place that this exists
Is buried in my wake

My head was in her lap.
Her friend was driving fast.
Too fast. Way too fast.
She wrapped her arms around me.
It was cold and late and I'm in a stranger's car.
No. I met him that morning. It's fine.
Oh god. Are we going to crash?
She hushed me.
Have I been shivering this whole time?
She laid her jacket over me as a makeshift blanket.
The car is still too fast.
The music is too loud and it's dark.
Am I dying? No it's fine. She's got me.
How long has it been since we left?
Oh ****, wasn't he drinking?
We're going to die. Why did I come with?
She tells him to slow down.
I somehow mutter out a sorry to him.
I'm laying in the backseat of a half-stranger's car.
The leather interior is sticking to me.
It's not as cold as it was before.
…
…
…
Am I still awake? I can't move.
Did I die? No, I still feel her there.
She's rubbing my back, I think.
I'm asleep. Wait am I? Yes.
I think so. It's okay.
We're at her house.
We made it.
I made it.
It's okay.

I smile for the camera,
For my friends,
For the people who matter,
And sometimes
Even those who don't.

I act like i'm alright
That I live a blissful life
Even when inside i'm dying
And unhappy as hell

This constant battle
That's eating me up alive
Is a fight for freedom
That can never be won
A mind inside my mind
With a war of it's own

I will always be alone
I know,
I will always be alone
And one day I will be forgotten
But the pain will never end

Slice me...
I don't bleed nothin'
Less than real.

Gasoline in my
Veins, and a throat full of
Pills.

Come to terms with my life,
Giving death a great deal.

Feeling nothing but pain,
Or pain is nothing I
Feel?