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efni Jul 2021
my voice is muffled, isn't it
your ears are stuffed with either
faith, fear or infatuation
that replaces your love with lenses
of bright flashing red lights
when you look at me so please just
keep your eyes closed
until im gone but know this well,
i am walking away but
you are the one who's leaving me

30.07.21
your obsession with God will always outweigh my worth to you and sometimes I foolishly need a reminder of that...
  Jul 2021 efni
Maria
There were days
I remembered
To put my heart on my sleeve.

The other days
I hid it
So deep inside my body
I couldn’t find it for myself.

The terror of anyone finding
Me judging me
Seemed to linger in the air
I inhaled.
efni Jul 2021
you said i was 'special'
well, at least you got that right
because it takes a special kind of stupid
to stay up waiting and writing
about a ghost all night

18.07.21
i knew the odds but my silly little heart chose hope anyway
efni Jul 2021
i was a bit happy until you came
and i really tried not to cry

1-word replies and clear disinterest
the longest text was goodbye

but i'm being much too dramatic
it only made me want to die

and spend the next couple hours
racking my brain as to why

so now i'm just shaking my head
and i'm flailing my arms

you'd think all this routine crying
would be some sort of alarm

but an alarm is simply no match
for stubborn covering of ears

keep chanting "it's fine. it's okay"
as i wipe away these tears

saying, "it's fine. it's okay," to my silly little fears.

14.07.21
be a good girlfriend and get over it...
  Jul 2021 efni
Emma Price
I treaded so lightly
so as not to break
the eggshells
that I broke
myself instead
efni Jul 2021
i'll stay afloat for a little while but
if i end up out of this water
so bitterly be it
but i will not let myself
struggle beneath the surface again

14.07.21
inspired by 'past the thrashing' by Amanda, one of my FAVOURITE poets on HP. Her poem is reposted below.
efni Jul 2021
i'm sorry it took so long
to realize the difference
between seeing you for you
and watching you watch me

13.07.21
i'm trying to learn to see YOU.
not hyperfixate on how you see me...
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