i lay here in my bed,
questioning life and exploring the thoughts in my head.
i stare at the wall while thinking of you,
i have never felt so frustrated and blue.
youre miles away from me,
youre the person i so desperately seek.
do you think about me?
do you wish for me?
i question it all with confusion in my heart,
feeling it get shattered in several shards.
is there something wrong with me?
am i too needy, too angry, too ugly?
you pop up in my mind and its the same,
my thoughts cause even more pain.
was i too pushy, too boring, too demanding?
is there something wrong with my being?
flashbacks haunt me and show me better times,
the answer i seek is something i cannot find.
why do you distance yourself?
why does it feel like im by myself?
we used to be free and outgoing,
we didnt care about nothing.
what happened to us?
how did we dig ourselves into this rut?
more questions, more mysterious answers,
but unfortunately they never get answered.

go ahead and hide from me,
go ahead and leave.
go ahead and run from me,
a coward is the only thing i see.
go ahead and call me names,
there is nothing that we can change.
go ahead and call me a child,
for i am not the one who acts wild.
go ahead and try to control my life,
im done with being treated like a petty housewife.
go ahead and beg me to stay,
i will still run away.
go ahead and try to convince me to change my mind,
im done with being left behind.
go ahead and tell me all those sweet lies,
i love the sound of your cries.
go ahead and tell me that i mean a lot to you,
i dont want be with you.
go ahead and tell me im your family,
i still remember you left me when i needed you daily.
go ahead and hide you coward,
i will keep going forward.
go ahead,
my feelings for you are dead

Shame woven into me, to escape the things I've done. In shadow it reminds me, it's a battle that can't be won.

Fingerprints along the walls, that match my very hand. It holds to gently or grips to tight, and lost is the magic sand.

Where were you all that time ago, when I needed strength the most? Now my past self haunts me, like the lingering of a ghost.

Never is there a witch when you need one, to cast a magic spell. Circles drawn and cauldrons bubbled, the day I saved myself from hell.

I don't know why we care for each other. I don't know why you want me to be yours.
Never had I been treated so badly
And I know you're awful for me.
But why do I want to tell you
How madly in love I am
With you.
Joining together. Your hugs not warming, nor inviting, seems to only bring me closer.
Every kiss from your parted lips, only a reminder why we shouldn't try again
Roadkill would be more appealing.
Rather then going through the continuous nonsense of love or togetherness
You know how to make me smile.
I loathe you. I love you.
I need you.
I hate you.
You claim you love me with all of your heart.
I should have seen that was a lie from the start.

The bark:
It found me walking your street at night
Worried to find my way home
Along a crooked patch of tall grass fogging
10 claws behind a white picket fence
Melting slowly through memory
charged with broken tradition
and heated "what ifs"
As if sooner or later it knew that if it held loud enough
The boundaries would topple
and the marvel of a delicious body
Devoured
Could settle the accounts of dispute
As two cups clink together
In a cloud of insecurities
And lapping tongues.

Everything I've ever done up to this point has been futile
Because I'm never going to be the fantasy I've always envisioned
It's all I can do not to take this **** knife and shove it through my veins
How can I be beautiful and happy when I destroy myself everyday
When I can't even get myself up off the floor
I can't
And I refuse to suffer any longer

Hello / goodbye
bent on / goodnight
Can't sleep / just cry
My dreams / I die
Don't live / survive
Im losing / the fight
Demons / unite
Take over / my mind
Can't see / I'm blind.
Get in / and drive
Away / behind
we're out / of time
People / they try
They ask / I lie
They hear / they buy
While I / stand by
And whisper / **"I'm fine"

my love, listen to me,
can you hear my silent agony?
my heart and soul, listen to it,
can you hear my very world go down to ****?
my soulmate, listen to it hard,
cant you hear my heart breaking into shards?
my companion, listen to the sound of my voice,
cant you hear the chaotic noise?
my lover, listen to my heart,
can you hear the choking back of tears?
my dear, listen to it beat,
can you hear the endurance it takes to stand back on my own feet?
my sweet, listen to it,
can you hear the abyss-like pit within it?
mi amor, listen to me,
can you hear the passing of time around me?
my honey, listen to my mind,
can you hear the answer that i can never seem to find?
my pumpkin, listen to that sound,
can you hear the solution i have found?
my biscuit, listen to me,
can you hear the sound of me leaving?
love, listen,
this is the end.