how can I be so broken
from something that has never been there in the first place

how can I be so broken
from someone who wasn’t even mine in the first place

remember the boy at the window in the white button down?
and the girl grinning from inside?
remember the two of them sitting under the moon covered in bug spray and each others arms?
remember them talking about a future they claimed they wanted?
remember the look in their eyes when they saw each others faces?
remember how happy they seemed?

turns out, they're liars

that boy called her outside to taste her skin and kept her in his back pocket so on his bad nights he could take her out and pour himself into her to forget his problems. he did not love the girl, she was simply an addition to his body count.

that girl wrote ****** poetry and told everyone she was great to hide the fact that she wanted to scream and burn every reminder of that boy from her memory because she knew she was just an object. she told the stars she did not love him and her subconscious filled her dreams with his face.

they were filthy liars,
hooked on the idea of love


s.s

i.
love bites as dark as the circles under my eyes like tags on my body mimicking name brands to fake worth that's not there

ii.
hello love to pretty strangers to have soft words fill the loud silence between empty bodies

iii.
flinching from bumping into someone in the store and shrinking away from a strangers smile because the feeling of being used echos beneath your skin

iv.
finding yourself comparing new people to the old and letting your heart break when they don't compare

v.
finding yourself glowing when the sun is high then finding yourself high and lonely with the stars

s.s

my heart runs wild
while my fingers stutter,
my mind reaching with sticky fingers
to grasp the right words
and catch them like fireflies
where you can all admire them from afar.

but this,
this love,
this is not like those carefree summer nights,
no, this is the middle of winter-
the biting cold an ever-present guest
just as you happen to be in my mind.

funny how
just the thought of
the comfort of your hand in mine
and the warmth of your lips shielding my own
is enough to block the gusts of cold out.