Orange specks around the neighborhood

Blackness in my eyes

Screams of my name everywhere

It's all I hear at night



They tell me they don't want me

They tell me they don't care

All I want is to be alone

But they make my mind grow bare



My brain is on guard constantly

I need to be set free

If I don't listen to what they say

They will come after me



I'm stuck in this position

Where I am not in charge

My hope has shrunk to nothing

And the voices have grown large



It's scary sharing your thoughts

with those of someone else

I'm being cared for all the time

But I still need the help

My nerves feel like
they are going to bunch up
and crawl out
of my body

Panic settles in
doesn’t come out
thankfully

The possibility of papercuts
fills my head
then my brain starts rushing thoughts of
them all over my body on overload

It feels like there are ten million
needles piercing my skin

Feels like the world is going to end
for one second
and I keep holding on
because I have to

I don’t want to

I don’t want to

But I have to

It is necessary for life
how can you live without it

So I keep grabbing on
and holding on
no matter the torture I feel
because I have to
I tell myself

I have to

She stands in beauty
Waiting for the wind to come
and knock off the only clothes
she owns
She sits strong ready
for the icy queen to
enter
and bring in her army
of ice crystals
only there to make their sacrifice
heavy and tired
She knows that her time
is near and she needs to hurry;
hurry up and make amends
with her solid ground
and build up another
as she falls

Peter Peter cottontail
Tie your noose, don’t let it trail
you’ll be gone, you’ll be so young
Just like all the other ones

Jack be nimble, jack be quick
Don’t you know the baby’s sick?
She’ll be dead before you know
So hurry up, don’t be so slow

Bibbidi Bobbidi Boo
Fairy Godmother, where were you?
The gun was put up to their head
You didn’t stop them from being dead

Twinkle twinkle little star
Won’t you tell us where they are?
They left and yet your mouth is shut
You saw that bomb that blew them up

Fairy tale’s might be there
To entertain, but beware
They won’t help you in the end
No, fairy tales are not your friend

Corners aren’t too bad to stand in
When you have nowhere to go
The clock will be your only friend
When you’re sitting there alone

The faces in the pictures
Pose dusty in delight
They bury their eyes into yours
Try to take out all your light

The doors are getting smaller
The walls are closing in
Your fears are getting taller
Your worlds coming to an end

Your fingertips go through
What wasn’t even there
Your future and your new
Things that never go somewhere

Sit still and let it drown you
Your day has nearly come
Time is the woman in the shoe
She’s whipped you and you’re done

Sometimes
Things build up and get knocked down
Sometimes
I can't hold on to the cliff
My hands slip off
and I look at the water below
Sometimes the world looks too tough
The dirt is frozen
And the shovel won't go through
I try to hang on when it
gets too difficult
But sometimes I
go over the edge
My fingertips are slathered
in the butter that fills me with self-hatred
And fear
Fear is a lion
threatens to swallow me whole
bares its teeth and looks me in the eye
I run in every direction
but he's always there
And I can't get free

Sometimes
The world is too much
But I stand strong
And bury my feet-
just my feet-
in the ground and
stand
up
tall

The pills
They take a toll on you
Make your head feel like a balloon
You walk
When they yell run
And you are finished before they are done
I don’t want this to be over
Cause it’s all I’ve ever known
But they tell me to go sober
And I can’t cut off from the cards I was thrown

Take me the end of the world
Watch me consider jumping over the edge
I’ll be right there at the ledge
And the world wants me to be dead

I’ve gone through the struggle
I’ve gone through the war
I’ve gone through hell twice
And I won’t anymore
The world’s on my platter
My life’s at my feet
But I step on my future
Dirt’s nothing to eat

I run
Circles around the truth
Honesty is hiding behind a suit
Lies ****
Just like ******
But no one thought to tell me it’s a sin
Drugs must be easier than
Hearing the monsters
And carving my skin
But drugs are just impostors.

They drown out the garbage
They will drown out accusers
But they drown out the future
And **** their abuser

I’ve gone through the struggle
I’ve gone through the war
I’ve gone through hell twice
And I won’t anymore
The world’s on my platter
My life’s at my feet
But I step on my future
Dirt’s nothing to eat

I want to end this once and for all
So no longer will I be the one who will fall
I’ll stand up straight, I’ll stand up tall
And my platter will be empty