so many bodies lie
rotting and I’m sick
many hands digging
holes in the ground
and I’m sick. I’m sick
and tired.
I think of how you
used to be, and the
weight of the world
squeezes my neck
till my heart splatters
like red paint
on an empty canvas.
I’m sick, and I let you
carve abandonment
into my flesh.
I’m sick and I want to
sleep where the bodies
don’t sleep.

"It's all temporary", he said,
With all thoughts in his head.
No masking no forsaking no decline,
"I've given my all and now I bear this fall".
As he said over and over in time,
"So where do I sit now"?
"And get up to the sky somehow",
"Without ever falling back and being afraid".
"This journeyed life it seems,"
"Has broken my dreams".
"And brought nothing to life but gloomy rain".

I keep on dying again.
Veins collapse, opening like the
Small fists of sleeping
Children.
Memory of old tombs,
Rotting flesh and worms do
Not convince me against
The challenge. The years
And cold defeat live deep in
Lines along my face.
They dull my eyes, yet
I keep on dying,
Because I love to live.

I wake up today already feeling melancholy
today is the day you are leaving for your dream job
I should be happy for you right? but instead i told you
it's time to end things between you and I
I told you the distance was too much, I couldn't handle it
but I'm laying awake in bed and all my thoughts are filled with you and your warm brown eyes, your dashing smile
they way you make me feel so alive and happy
like nothing bad could ever happen to me
and I've come to a conclusion, as I've spent the last hour
thinking about you, the distance is no match for how much I will miss you, I hurry as fast as I possibly can so I can catch you
before you leave on your train
I speed through the traffic and arrive 10 mins before the
train should depart, I push my way through people trying to find where
you should be, and suddenly in the blur of everything I catch a glimpse
of your ebony hair, I change my course and now I'm running straight for you I catch your wrist just in time, for you were just about to board and you would have been gone forever, your warm eyes immediately look down to me,
like you were expecting me, we stand there staring at each other for
what feels like hours, I take a deep breath and I breathlessly say
“It's you” as I look deep into your loving gaze, returning it
“explain, what changed your mind” you say in return, I have to think
what did change my mind? “ you see, the distance is no match for how much
I would miss you” I say, you look as if you will start crying “thank you” you say, “because I would miss you so much more because I’m in love with you” and I know that I’m in love with you too maybe even more

I burn too bright for my own good
fuel my own fire
scar my own skin
my body ignites and blazes away
the outer shell
I am more than what I have been
I have walked through hell.
I am the might; and I burn thin
through what's good for me
and I am charred, at the end of the day
but even charcoal ignites again.

When I die I will live on.
You will find me weir I've lived for so long.
In between books seems and in poetry readings.
In brush strokes and paintings.
I am a child of literature, the daughter of written things
My skins made out of book pages, my mind out of
the words I read.
When I die yes I will live on.
I will live on in between hard and paper back book seems.

This feeling is mutual.
Liking the sandpaper scrape on my knee.
I never wanted two duals.
So I guess I got three.

I can't help but say,
Thank you for this day.
This feeling made it possible,
It’s not even audible.

The pain in the back of my head,
Reminds me of this feeling.
It tells me to go to bed,
And stop breathing.

One day I’m sure,
They’ll find a cure,
They will never start cancelling,
For this chemical off balancing.

Ode to a feeling,
This is precious.
Sounds like it has no meaning,
But it’s breathless.