Do you think I'm broken?
'Cause I can't tell anymore.
My smiles aren't mine;
And I can't tell anyone
Because they'll only pity me,
Or take it too personally.
But it's not about you
It's about me.
Maybe I am broken,
My mind,
My heart,
My head.
My happiness is a lie
Because I'm broken.

Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down

its the night when your
life becomes sleepless

your day might be reckless
doing things after things
of uselessness

i am tired,
no, i don't need sleep
no, i don't need rest
i just want that feeling
i could hold and hug
to where i kiss and wish
be loved for me to love back

i sigh waiting for a sign
that i am still alive
after all.

It's scary to know that you're no longer an option
It's terrifying to think that it's just me and my habits
It's comforting knowing these pills with this drink will put me into a deep sleep

I am not afraid of you, I am afraid I will never get to love you again