I shiver, I shake,
I rattle, I wake.

From across the room I stare at the bar,
Wondering how the hell I ever got this far.

I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say,
Everything around me seems to be in the way.

I wish I could just curl up into a ball,
Going through my mind just to erase it all.

I cry, I break,
I smile, I ache.

I'm lying to myself, for that I cannot deny,
You ask me questions for which I can give no alibi.

I've done it before, and I can do it again,
But this time, I am more afraid of your reign.

Please help me dear soul, for you're all I have left,
I hate this feeling of despair and bereft.

Free me from, this life of illusion,
I am still lost on the path of confusion.

I'm scared, I'm hurt
I hide, I avert.

I don't know how long this can go on,
Before you know I am completely gone.

One so familiar to me.

I've seen so many times before,
but it's different this moment.

I'm scared for different reasons,
never having these before.

I am fearless, yet I am scared.
I am the name on the screen.

The robin sings outside the window,
the beautiful song of grace.

The shade is opened to watch the birds fly by,
traveling south, and high in the sky.

The leaves are changing to an orange red,
as the air gets crisp and cold.

The clouds roll by,
giving sun and shade where needed.

The robin's voice fades away,
as she flies high with the others.

It will always hurt,
the pain will never go away.

But.
Knowing what is known now,
Knowing the hope given for the future,
replaces some of the hurt, with hope.

Memories are never to be forgotten,
yet the past is the past.

Dwelling on what can't be changed,
hinders the continuation of life.

Picking up the baggage will take some time.
Moving on all together will still be the hardest thing to accomplish.

But when the final bag is put on the truck,
and all that has to be done is to drive away,
I will smile, reach over to the dial, and turn on the car radio.

As I pull out of the driveway, the radio will be at its highest,
because looking back, I'll be able to say,
That the music had never faded away.

Distractions, Distractions.
I need Distractions.

The tears, The tears.
They never stop flowing.

The pain, The pain.
It screams from my body.

The blood, The blood.
I need to stop.

Distractions, Distractions.
I need Distractions.

but there are no distractions
everything is a reminder
everything.

The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
For years and years* she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath
She finally drank her pain away a little at a time
But she never could get drunk enough to get her off her mind
Until the night

She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger
And finally drank away her memory
Life is short, but this time it was bigger
Than the strength she had to get up off her knees
We found her with her face down in the pillow
Clinging to her picture for dear life
We laid her next to her beneath the willow
While the angels sang a whiskey *lullaby