My name means defender of mankind
My sign represents justice
Artemis is my champion
Protector of women
Who am I?
I am the defender of mankind
I protect those who cannot help themselves
I was a top candidate at a federal prison to  become a Correctional Officer
I turned it down because I was afraid.
Not of the job or the weight it carries
I wasn’t afraid of the danger of the walls or what lives inside them
On the contrary
That excited me
But that feeling
Gives me a chill to bone
I was afraid of the walls changing me
Bringing the worse out in me
I was going to be a part of a brotherhood
The thin grey line
I wasn’t afraid of the OC spray
I took that blow to the face just fine
I puked and choked along side of my brothers
But I noticed a change in me
A slight change
A part of me I’ve held on to for so long
A part of me the world hasn’t been able to take away
I noticed it starting to fade
I noticed it when I looked at the inmates
Us versus them
I was going to win at all cost
I didn’t want to fail my brothers
But that mentality I started to grow
It wasn’t me
I had to make a choice
I’m a defender of mankind
All of mankind
I found another way
To stay true to myself
I no longer represent the thin grey line
The law I embrace
I found another way to fight the wolves
I choose to protect the flock a different way
Not with fist, batons, and the OC spray
My words are my weapons of choice
I still fight the wolves
I’m no longer the sheepdog
I am
I will be
The shepherd

It’s funny I just realized something
I pour out all my heart for everyone on to see
However,
None of you know the slightest bit about me
You know my deepest fears
My scars
My desires
However, you don’t know what makes me
Me

We spent two long years apart
I’ve dreamed every night of you coming back
I’ve cried myself to sleep listening to paramore’s “ all I wanted was you” for two years
The night we broke up
I left you a voicemail calling you a coward
I said I hated you
Even though I didn’t mean it
You blocked my number
You shattered my heart
I drove to your house
I screamed at you and you turned your back
I pushed you too hard
You pushed back
I threw your call sign at you and your ship tag
Told you I never wanted to think about you ever again
I just wanted you to admit it
I wanted you to tell me how you felt
Then we didn’t speak for one year
When you unblocked my number
I noticed you called me
I texted you
You didn’t reply
That broke my heart once again
Another year passed
You finally texted me back
It was Christmas
A very intoxicated me answered
“You came back! I never stopped loving you”
You liked what I texted you
Then you noticed my intoxicative state
You called me and we talked for hours
It was like we never said goodbye to each other
You told me for two years every time you heard  “under your scars” you thought of me
You missed me like I missed you every single day
In just three months my dreams came true
Now I get to wake up next to you
I can listen to love songs once more
I can retire paramore’s song
I’m inspired once more
You’re my muse
You’re my everything
I love you

There are soft kisses
Hand kisses
Forehead kisses
Playful kisses
Goodbye kisses
And hello kisses
You spoil me with so many kisses
You have given me
Passionate kisses
Loving kisses
Good morning kisses
Good night just as we are about to go to bed kisses
When we were apart, you always gave me air kisses
But there was this one kiss
I never felt before
This particular kiss
Gave me a vision
That kiss made my heart leap through mountains
when it returned to my body
It made sense
Your hands were in your pockets
You looked just as shy as me
The vision I had, could it be?
A glimpse into the future?
This would be the only kiss you haven’t given me...

There’s a metallic taste on my tongue
It’s weird and unknown
I have the past running through my thoughts
Visiting each time I was wronged
Like a scrap book I flip through the memories
Asking the lingering question
why
How
Why didn’t I see it coming
Behind the smiling faces and pleasant eyes
The intentions of those that want to hurt you
How can they live with that?
How are they able to forget that
Why can’t I be like that?
How can I trust the wrong people?
Why don’t they feel bad?

Do you remember this
We were surrounded by all your friends
I remember the chattering of people in the background.
It was hard to hear everyone over the music and clinking of beer bottles
You were right next to me
I was talking to your friend
I heard you say you wanted a kiss.
In front of all your friends
I was caught off guard
I saw the look in your eyes
You knew, I was nervous
I knew you meant it
I think you liked how shy it made me
I felt your heartbeat race
then our lips embraced
The party disappeared
It was just us in that moment
This was a different kiss
It was passionate
Soft
Intoxicating
It stole my breath
Left me addicted
This kiss, you never gave to me again