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  Sep 2014 Ashley Lopez
always anxious
never have i ever
felt this empty
never have i ever
been this sad

never have i ever
been so lonely
never have i ever
gone this mad

never have i ever
been so lonely
never have ever
been so close to choke

never heave i ever
done so badly
never have i ever
found it this hard to cope

(s.l.g)
  Sep 2014 Ashley Lopez
Suzanne Penn
That tragic moment
when I finally settle down
and realize...
I am upset over the idea
of our relationship ending...
rather than the suffocation  of it.
We both had become
tired and lazy
and selfish with our
understanding
and withholding...everything
resenting...everything
It had been way too long...
since we kissed...
circumstances...
were extraordinarily difficult
from the very beginning...
never really letting up for very long
and they took a heavy toll...
eventually we each
spun inward
unable to communicate
without offences.
So...
We each began letting go
insecurities ran rampant
it became too hard too hold on
so we let go...
a little bit at a time
first, of our desire
then
our ability to believe.
..in Us
and  what we had
was special to be real.
No one got what they wanted
No one is solely to blame
To  me...
that is the true tragedy..
what we could have...
should have been
That is where
my true sadness lies.
jammed between
the should haves and could haves
I hope we each
find our comforts.
I wished SO much...
Believed so hard...
That someday I would find you...
That when I did
I didn't see all the cracks...
Now it seems
the search begins again...
I am left to find
someone like you.
Ashley Lopez Sep 2014
Our problem is that I fell in love
First with your soul
Then with your mind.
Your body came last.
You fell in love with my body and my touch.
You only kept me hooked
With pretty words and empty lies.
I let you dig into my mind,
While yours was sewn shut.
You became a compulsive liar with your feelings.
I love you,
I love you not.
I love you,
I love you not.
I love you,
I guess you love me not.

You are a ******* compulsive liar with your feelings.
You played a game.
It was called love.
Guess what?
**I lost.
cut from a prose verse that I wrote. I hate that I'll always love you you little ****.
  Sep 2014 Ashley Lopez
Irate Watcher
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=

calculating humans.
Data-based personalization promises to solve many of humanity's problems, but also threatens to simplify and homogenize the code by how we live.

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