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Had I known I'd never hug you again
I would've held on tighter.
Had I known I'd never hear your laugh again
I would've told more jokes.
Had I known I'd never hear your voice again
I wouldn't have hung up.
If only I'd known.

Had I known you'd be leaving
I would've followed you.
Had I known you were lost
I would've found you.
Had I known I'd never see you again
I wouldn't have looked the other way.
If only I'd known.

Had I known , mom.
I could at least say I tried.
Had I known, mother.
I could at least have told you how much I Love You.
*But I didn't know
My mom passed away about 5 years ago, and I'm only now learning how to cope with it.
We don't have a love like the rest
I compare it to Anastasia and Christian
You are so cold and dark inside
You can't provide love in my life
You can't save me from the demons in my mind
But I love the way you feel inside.

It's hard pretending I do not care
I wouldn't have it any other way
The way your thrusting inside me
Pulling my hair, and I scream.

Down on my knees looking up at you
This is what we have to offer
A secret life of ***, and I can't be your lover
But the way you grab me, pulls me away
You can take all you want
Just stay,  my fifty shades.
I want to feel.
I want to feel you,
your arms around me,
my arms around you,
us holding each other.

But I don't know you,
or who my "you" is.
I'm just feeling
a tad sentimental
for things I've never had.

But dancing under
the brilliant stars,
to our favorite songs.
This is what I would
fall in love for.

Simple things,
and simple words,
I'm easy to inspire,
with loving words
and loving hugs.

I feel nostalgic,
for things I
haven't experienced.
But that's all I have,
feelings and love for "you".
I'm just feeling romantic for some reason. I don't expect this poem to be liked as well as some of my other poetry, but like I said. I'm feeling sentimental.
What's been missing in my life is you...
But being me I was too afraid to swoon.
'If I fall will he catch me?' And if he doesn't where would I fall?
But if he does, my God, if he does, I could quite possibly be the happiest woman alive.
Instead of falling I ran
Into another guy's arms
His aren't as warm, his voice isn't as soft, and his word doesn't really mean anything anymore...
I could've, should've, would've done
A million other things. And if I could go back I would...
But our love is forever baby, always has been.

Always will be.
You and I,
We got high
together at the seven eleven at seventeen,
and listened to Fall Out Boy as he sang ironic one liners.
And we'd argue about what it would mean; too high to believe
the other was right, and then laughed at passing cars.

We stumbled to the graveyard and told ghost stories with wine,
and whiled away the hours dreaming of knights and dragons
in crystal towers far away across fable and time. I'd lift my proverbial flagon,
and you'd ****** it away, and whisper
"What am I
to you?" So sudden, and I was too high to answer it right at the time.
I stumbled. I mumbled. My words were all jumbled, and all that came out was:
"Thou art mine friend." Kind of lame, that word at the end. But I ended the sentence
With a laugh. I didn't know you were serious...
But...
I should have cut a word from the statement. Because if I was being serious too,
I'd have whispered back "Thou art mine."

In my mind, I relive the moment over again and again,
before you left and stumbled off into the dark,
I say "You are my princess, I'm your knight."
I say "When it's all ****** up, you make it all right."
I say all the right things and it culminates in a kiss by starlight,
but I mumbled,
words jumbled,
And you took the bottle of wine with you as you stumbled
alone into the dark till it took you away from my sight.

That night I sat alone and soliloquised what I didn't say right.
You try to tell me what I am,
using "friend" over and over

But I know what  I am

I am the rugburn on your forearm that you cover with your sleeve
       the sweat on the back of your neck
        and the tightness of your jeans
I am the look back from that night as you drove away
       the text message you sent, asking to "hang out" again the next day
I am the tightness in your chest at night
         the forbidden fantasy during the day
         the secret from your parents
         the story to your friends
But I am not something to be controlled or domineered
So that's why now
**I am the one who walked away.
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