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Feb 2020 · 214
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Feb 2020
i’m feeling fine
a bit bulimic, but that’s alright
you write to me,
i write right back
and that’s all we’ll ever need
Jan 2020 · 380
Box of Brownies
Lizzie Matthias Jan 2020
Valentine’s day
I had an idea
What if we made them
Boxes of brownies?
It’s a step up from chocolates,
They like my baking, too
We’ll make some for everyone else, too
hahahahaha they better watch out
Jan 2020 · 82
b l o w
Lizzie Matthias Jan 2020
in,
and
out.
harder,
and
softer.
blow until
you can't no more
and nothing's there
forever.
Jan 2020 · 113
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Jan 2020
With all these lies I tell,
how long until I’m the boy who cried wolf?
Dec 2019 · 141
Insomnia
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Will myself to sleep.
Will I go to sleep?
Too many thoughts.
Tired eyes,
Active mind.
I live my life wrapped up in lies.
It's quiet a bind.
Dec 2019 · 73
Hang with Me
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Pull me in from shallow depths
Follow in my footsteps
Hide with me in shadows
Ignoring all that follows

Get away from trouble,
Come and play with bubbles!
No need to worry, anymore
That's too much of a chore
Dec 2019 · 153
Have a Nice Day
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
No longer a bother
And nothing to ponder
I'll be hitting the hay
Think about all this another day
:/
Dec 2019 · 111
Better
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Be a better friend
All memories end
Fall into a puddle
Of never-ending sorrow
Maybe if you stay alive,
Some new help will arrive?
Or perhaps ask for it,
Combat it,
Find a will to survive.
Dec 2019 · 102
Friend
Lizzie Matthias Dec 2019
Is she still my friend
If she lied?
Is she still my friend
If she's made me cry?
I want to think she is,
Want to think our relationship was real.
But after everything was revealed,
She ended up with lips sealed.
Nov 2019 · 206
my dear
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
oh, my lovely, little, loveless lovis
with your heart so full of pain
keep yourself in check, my dear
or i’ll need to have you restrained
???
Nov 2019 · 93
Your Dick
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
A lonely, little, lacking Johnson
A limp lump without love
One lazy lick and he’s gone
what ****? oh there it is, looked like a first generation nerf gun with how colorful it is
Nov 2019 · 145
Replaced
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
It's normal
Been repeated
I've since been undefeated
But now
With her
I'll be standing lost and alone
And my stomach's all in shambles
My hearts been rearranged
My brain is overcrowded
Have I really been replaced?
Nov 2019 · 57
i love you
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
i love you, too
i don't understand it...
why?
what are these weird... feelings?
my stomach’s churning,
i think i’m gonna throw up...
hug me
kiss me
**** me
love me
i want it
i want it, right?
yeah
let’s go with that
Nov 2019 · 99
Francis~!
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
A bit too much
A little over the top
That’s what I am!
But will I stop?
Non!
What are boundaries?
Those are purely guidelines, oui?
Rules don’t apply to me
I’ll do whatever I want
“news flash, hair gel! i know him better than you do!” - literally me yesterday
Nov 2019 · 1.2k
Destiny
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
A word and a name.
We all meet her one day.
A girl named Destiny,
her majesty.
Our fate is her crown.

She’ll end you all,
begin you all.
She’ll make you sorry in the end.
Cuz she’s your Destiny,
her majesty.
Just by looking at her, knees bend.

But we fall.
We all fall.
And Destiny’s no exception.
With her life on the line,
it’s her life or mine.
An ultimate ultimatum.

Falling faster!
Can’t live without her!
This girl named Destiny,
it’s clear to see,
she only wants to help me.

Destiny
means so much more to me!
Not some false hope
or a pure mistake.
She’s my Destiny,
her majesty.

Perhaps if I believe,
believe in what I see,
I’ll be alright.
No instincts such as fight or flight...
If I believe in Destiny,
I’ll be alright.

With her, I’ll be alright.
Together, we’ll be alright.
I trust in her.
Believe in her.
Because Destiny owes me a favor
and I plan to collect.
alright who drugged my juice
Nov 2019 · 112
Falling Action
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
What did I

What did I

What did I do?

You’ve forgotten me.



I could stay right here for days

And nobody’d notice me.

I’d fall from action,

Fall from passion,

Fight my back to the top.



But time and time and time again,

I’ll be thought the same.



Think of me then,

Think of me now,

Compare me now and again.

Did I get better?

Did I get worse?

Either way you’ll be wrong.



Take me,

Fake me,

Desecrate me,

Everything feels the same.



But in my falling hours...

Will I ever feel the same?
Nov 2019 · 179
Thunderstorms
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
As the streetlights flicker,
my face is wet with tears.
As the storm grows thicker,
I try to hide from my fears.

It’s not working.
Thunder isn’t thunder anymore.
It sounds like shouting.
People screaming themselves sore.

I’ll try to hide.
Cower in my bed.
But it sounds like a crashing tide,
and it won’t ******* END.

Stop, I whimpered.
Please, no, I cry.
But I can’t speak louder than a whisper,
no matter how hard I try.
I was in a big one recently and... ****, I was scared shitless...
Nov 2019 · 78
Give
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
Take it and take me,
let me provide with all I have left.
Even with all that’s been taken from me,
and what little I’ve been given,
I’ll give to you.
I’ll give it all up for you.
I’d do anything for you...
Just say the words.
I’m at your will,
just let me give!
I can only give,
it’s what I was taught
and what I will teach.
Now, take me.
Let me give up for you.
Give to you.
Give in to you.
All I can do is give.
Nov 2019 · 40
Death on a Nice, Warm Day
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
I don't want a long life.
To grow old isn't my thing.
I wanna die free.
The vision I have is beautiful...
I'm walking to school,
the sky is blue,
the trees are full,
and the color came back to my world.
My vision shows me wearing black,
my hair in a ponytail,
and I'm standing tall,
isolated from my peers.
I'm calm
and before I die,
I take a nice, long breath.
I step off onto the street,
in front of school,
away from my peers,
away from the trees.
I'm standing still,
hand on my bag.
I'm finally happy.
Then...
A red car crashes into me.
Just what I wanted.
I'm finally dead.
Finally happy.
Truly happy.
I know that the world would be happier,
my mom would have the funds to live.
My friends might mourn,
but they have each other,
right?
They can help each other out,
that's what I'd want.
I want them to be happy,
but not with me there.
I want them to help each other,
and maybe my death will bring them together.
I want them happy,
I want them happy...
I want them...
happy?
God, I just don't know...
Nov 2019 · 532
cheat sheet
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
i'm a cheat sheet
a cheap sheet
look to me for answers
learn nothing yourself
maybe you tried before coming to me
or maybe you just forgot
i'll help,
i'll help,
no cost at all.
i have the answers
and you'll use me.
then discard me
and forget me.
just a last resort anyway.
Nov 2019 · 206
birthday
Lizzie Matthias Nov 2019
I hate my birthday.
No point in celebrating
a day of pain
and almost death.
The day an accident
took it's first breath.
Oct 2019 · 227
liebe
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
A chemical imbalance.
      That's it.
          That's all it is to me.
               It's hardwired that way
                   To give us no gain.
                      Only a single little
                          Fleeting feeling
                              That no one can know.
Oct 2019 · 61
write me
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
Write me,
the right me.
Capture my essence and trap it inside me.
Let the world see
this different side of me.
Oct 2019 · 267
i love you <3
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
By God, you’re pretty

No matter what you say.

You can’t change my mind.

You’re better this way.



Your laugh is gentle.

It makes me smile...

Do you wanna

Stay for a while?



Can’t help me loving you.

You make me feel.

My love for you

Makes me unbeatable!



I’m never silenced.

Never thought down on.

I want you to know

That I’m rooting for ya~



I’ll believe you

You don’t believe me...

But please,

When I say...



Believe me when I say

I

Love

You. <3
Oct 2019 · 40
courtly love
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
close your eyes
and hold me close.
oh dear,
hold me dearly to your heart.

it beats, and beats,
my love, you can't be beat.
it's strong, my will.
love you, i will.

i'm struck with grief!
i was struck by your handkerchief.
what have i done?
what have i done wrong?
.
.
.
you're too late, my dear
i'm off to war.
i'll see you soon
in a place on the sun.

at war with war,
no peace with peace.
in a war like this,
will the world stay in one piece?

with my back to france,
i'm back from france.
my darling,
i'm home.

the king,
oh yes,
i must see
the king.

he'll give me the news,
he'll catch me up.
i'll beg and plead
to make sure you're safe.

an hour of court.
he told me the news.
i can't wait
to be back with you.
.
.
.
cries of papa pierce the air.
i'm being hugged by two.
home, i'm here.
i'm here with you.

my darling cecilia,
i've missed you.
i've missed you dearly,
my darling.

little garth,
oh, how you've grown!
you're still a scrawny boy,
come, let us feast!
.
.
.
hours later,
we're finally alone.
garth in bed,
and the town at peace.

i'll grace your neck,
i'll pierce your skin.
i love you, my darling,
with all my being.

how war can change you,
how war has changed me.
the war has changed you too, dear.
is something wrong?

a strong case of disbelief,
i do think that's the case.
my dear, i'm alright.
i'm here, not dead but alive.

a long night of passion has met an end,
and our legs tangle in the bed.
now close your eyes,
and hold me close.
why did i chose to write this? good question. am i sleep deprived? good question. was this for school? good question. was this fun? good question. now, i shall nap.
Oct 2019 · 39
Little Things
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
It's the little things that count.
Like little kids learning little skills.
Little girls chasing little boys.
Little blocks, stacked on top each other.

Or little girls, getting touched by big hands.
Little boys getting taken by big men.
Little kids with little skills.
Little kids who learn to count what little time they have.
little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little little
Oct 2019 · 61
you do you my bro
Oct 2019 · 54
jejune
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
jejune
jejuly
je t'aime, monsieur
je t'aime, mademoiselle

i love you,
i love you,
but i was too naive to realize i'm being used,
being used by you.
what the fukc
Oct 2019 · 102
B-I-N-G-O
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
See one,
See two.
B 1.
B 17!
Bingo!
hwat
Oct 2019 · 43
birthday suit
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
put something on,
something nice and very you.
don't make yourself uncomfortable,
just make do.

you look nice!
it's very you!
the color, the style, the shape,
it's very much you.

people are complimenting you.
they're looking at you!
quick, smile!
they want to see that gorgeous face.

time to play your instrument.
a nice, gorgeous cello
slotted right between your knees,
leaning on your chest.

there's a boy staring...
he seems to like your outfit.
his eyes are straying lower,
and even lower still.

your hand is trembling,
are you alright?
"yeah, i'm fine,
there's just something on my mind..."

that boy,
he seemed to like you.
he stared at your bare thighs from under your skirt.
he stared at your visible chest.

he looked at you like you were naked,
gazing your body hungrily.
at least he never touched you
or made you feel wanted.

later while shopping,
someone's hand came a little too close.
you arched away awkwardly
and ran away quickly.

that boy,
that hand...
they won't leave your mind.
why do you keep thinking about something so childish?

maybe tomorrow you'll wear something nice again.
something that's very you.
maybe just your birthday suit.
that's very you.
Oct 2019 · 48
eat.
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
feed yourself until you ****,
then do it all over again.
"i'm not hungry"
"have my lunch"
"what'd you eat today"
"i'll buy you a snack"
i'll treat you to something
i'm too big anyway.
big fat *** for a ******.
***** for a plastic *****.
just take my excuses,
please.
just take my food,
please.
don't waste your time,
your money,
your food,
the air,
or space
on me.
i'm a waste anyway,
and who's saying i'm not?
Oct 2019 · 81
Can't Help
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
You can't help,
so stop offering it.
Can't go over to help look,
Or help work,
Or help breathe,
Or help watch.
Can't.
Help.
Oct 2019 · 50
Little Girl
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
A little girl
who didn't know better.
A child
who was nothing worthwhile.
Only there for longing stares,
Only there for curious hands.
Big, scary, curious hands...
She might be at risk for something
oh, so dangerous.
But she'd never know.
She never knows.
She's just a little girl
with no world of her own.
When she's older,
maybe she'll be a little more aware
of her tiring, terrifying situation.
But no one can help.
They'd only laugh.
Wouldn't believe her.
Even while she's crying her heart out,
taking in deep, labored breaths...
Nobody's there.
Nobody was ever there for her.
And soon,
that same little girl
will be hanging
on her ceiling fan.
Oct 2019 · 53
And I Can't!~
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
Hah, look at me,
Giving up!
I can't do it,
I really can't.

It's my job, my duty to help
And I can't!
I can't, I'm sorry!
I really can't!

Confusing feelings about love
Something I can't explain.
It's my job to help though, and I can't!
I really, really can't!

I'm sorry!
So, so sorry!
It's no fun without you!
I love you!

Aha, I can't! :D
It's too hard!~
Hehe, I can't!
I can't, I can't, I can't!
Oct 2019 · 103
mistakes
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
i can’t help,
but i try.
this might be the worse you’ve ever felt.
i’ll let you cry.

i wish i could promise it’ll be fine.
i wish i could promise it’ll be alright...
but all you can do is pine,
pine over your lost direction in life.

at least you said something,
at least you didn’t shut up.
don’t shut your mouth and say nothing,
don’t hesitate to interrupt.

don’t say it won’t last.
don’t say
don’t
don’t...
Oct 2019 · 112
please
Lizzie Matthias Oct 2019
i don't say that enough,
not ever enough.
maybe if i said it more
everything would be alright.

please don't go,
please don't stay silent,
please don't stop being you,
please don't...

i'm sorry for what i said
i'm sorry for what i did wrong
i'm sorry for being a bad friend
i'm sorry, i'm sorry

i'm sorry i'ms rory i'm storry i'mst oryr r im sorry im sorru im' soryr i'm sorryr i im soryr im sory pleas e lplease lea s eplease pl as e dont go i'm soryr im osryrr ims srour
im so sorry..
Sep 2019 · 100
let’s see them aliens
Sep 2019 · 64
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
the wide expanse of space,
so empty
yet full of terrifying possibility.
astronomy
Sep 2019 · 50
I'll Help
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
I'm here to listen,
not here to judge.
Feeling isn't a sin
and I won't hold a grudge.

I just need you to let me.
Let me see what's inside.
I can't tell what it's going to be
just by looking at the outside.

I don't make assumptions,
I won't tease you.
I'll listen to your opinions.
I'll help you be the best you.

The journey to bettering yourself is
long,
rough,
and tough.

But I know you can do it!
I'll help you do it!
I know you'll get better.
I know it get's better.
Sep 2019 · 47
bang bang bang
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i wanted bangs,
but couldn't get them.
i wanna bang,
but no one wants to.
i wanna put a bang in my forehead,
but no one will let me.
Sep 2019 · 102
my dream
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
happiness is a dream
a dream i want to keep
i'll keep it so dear to me
it'll never fade away

but just like all dreams,
or most dreams, anyway,
i'll end up forgetting it
losing it
and it'll go away
Sep 2019 · 507
so fast
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
like the snap of a finger,
the flick of a wrist.
a good day
can change
just
like
that.
Sep 2019 · 204
Feeling Better
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
The world is brighter,
the colors seem happier!
i don’t have to hide away
behind my fake little mask.

My friends who read this,
the bracelets aren’t because i’m hurting myself,
I just think they’re pretty!
Just like me!

I’m eating more,
or trying to!
Food is good...
Food tastes good.

I’m getting better,
Much, much better.
Secrets aren’t nice.
Secrets and lying don’t make me feel good.
Sep 2019 · 114
black void
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
nothing,
a sense of nothing.
i want to sleep,
to end it all.
or at least just make
their screaming stop.
hm
Sep 2019 · 89
orange light
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i giggle as i jump towards
the captivating light.
blinking, blinking,
it ***** me in
like juice from an orange.
i dunno
Sep 2019 · 115
white abyss
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i'm falling,
it's pulling me in.
or, i think i am.
the only thing i see
is a white abyss
of terrifying possibilities.
huh
Sep 2019 · 103
purple vomit
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
"peculiar," i think.
i ***** more,
tears streaking
my pretty little mask.
my throat is sore from
the weird medicine
and i wipe my mouth
on my royal, purple dress.
what
Sep 2019 · 169
feeling blue
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i’m feeling blue,
what about you?
i wanna know the truth,
i’ll speak the truth.
i trust you’ll tell me.
i’m confident you’ll tell me.
oop
Sep 2019 · 84
seeing red
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
a lust for a happy life,
seduction is strength.
i wave a red flag,
screaming,
“i’m a hazard to you all.”
anger and danger,
my two weaknesses.
i take it out on others,
my personality will be my fall.
hehe
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