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Sep 2019 · 73
going green
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
i’ve gone green.
being greedy, taking their ****.
completely jealous of what they have.
i’m staying green.
lusting for money
and an adventure i can’t have.
i’m going green.
turning to nature when i need her,
being calm in times of need.
i’ll stay green,
that’s how you like me.
i want to change
these feelings inside me.
color themed poems :D
Lizzie Matthias Sep 2019
Just some bad,
bad memories
I'd rather lose than keep.
They keep replaying
over and over again,
driving me crazy
until my last day.
a lil excerpt from a story my friend and i did lol
Aug 2019 · 52
okay.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
don’t ask me if i’m fine,
because that’s my line.
“are you okay?”
“yeah, how was your day?”

open up to me, hon.
spill it all until you’re done.
if you don’t your chest will tighten.
your anxieties will heighten.

i went through the same,
i’m the only one to blame.
you don’t have to keep it in,
...you shouldn’t have to keep it in.

i love you,
i’m sorry.
let me know about anything,
i’m open ears, hon.
ended horribly **** but i’m very tired again and it doesn’t make s e n s e
Aug 2019 · 102
too much
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
too many people,
i’m a bit too feeble.
too much noise,
and not enough poise.

let me through,
I wanna go home.
back to my burrow,
my little dome.
Aug 2019 · 55
too much to bear
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
“Please tell someone, it doesn’t have to be me”
i know you’re trying to tell me not to bottle it up
but now it sounds like you can’t handle me.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
falling out a tree,
spraining my right wrist.
running ‘round the woods,
trying to find my friends,
they look at me, confused
“what’s with all the rush?”
I scream, “we gotta go dudes!
The monster wants our heads!”

Oh, let us run!
Away from the gun!
They’ll pull our insides out!
We fall back down into a ditch,
With no way to get out!
Oh, let us climb!
I can’t climb,
My wrist hurts way too much!
I say, “Just leave me here to die,
Find your own way out!”
what
Aug 2019 · 66
he tries too hard i swear
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
he says he’s back but in speech, he lacks
the conversation grows dim, i’m writing on a whim
.
he finally responds, but not to strengthen our unruly bonds
.
he left and said, “my brother is need of my aid.”
eli please come back i wanna hear what you have to say about me comparing you to me as a second grader
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
it seems the world may never know.
the boy who i was once talking to
all of a sudden,
disappears.
where did he go?
will he come back?
it seems the world may never know.
eli where did you go
Aug 2019 · 40
“danes crash first”
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
aye, too bad I was raised in scotland with russian grandparents, my dad was an alcoholic, and then they took my to canada where i dealt with my crack addict uncle ****

also yeah, i’m recklessly lazy but, but, but-
i was raised in scotland then brought to denmark at 14, what do you expect.
Aug 2019 · 28
people go to the moon.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
So much room,
left alone.
Quiet place,
a little dome.

Can I stay way up there?
Away from all the trouble here?
I can find a way.
There’s always a way!

I built a rocket
to fly up high.
To reach the clouds,
further than the sky.

.
.
.

Glorious, it’s magnificent!
There’s so much beautiful life!
From slimy creatures, to fuzzy bow ties,
there’s just so much to see!

I met a man,
nearly twice my size.
He pat my shoulders and said,
“You worked so hard, you got a prize.”

We became good friends,
this man and I.
He never said his name,
Maybe it’s a gargle.

I took him on my ship,
he nearly didn’t fit.
I designed the door only for me,
but somehow he got in.

He showed me to his home.
It was stunning, to say the least.
A beautiful meadow on the horizon,
A pink river above me.

I tried to touch it,
but he took my wrist.
“It’s dangerous,
do not touch.”

There were no trees,
But surprisingly, I could breathe!
I took a deep breath,
And ran towards the flowers.

Again, the man stopped me.
“No!
They bite!
They feed off the young!”

“I can’t do anything!
Why did you even bring me?!”
The man sighed.
“To show you the true horrors of your creation.”

.
.
.

That was months ago.
Now I live by myself
in my ***** little dungeon.
A ***** little dungeon in the vacuum of space.

My prize,
my creation.
Was it a figment
Of my imagination?

The man,
that ginormous man.
He told me good things,
very good things.

But...
He told me of what I made.
My creation was a killer.
I am a killer.

I can’t let this be the last of me.
But I’ve lost all hope...
He shows me one thing in this vast, open galaxy.
Suddenly, I’m homesick.

I want to fly back.
All I want is my family.
I chased my dreams
With no second thought.

Mother... how are you?
Is the cancers back?
I don’t want you to be dead...
That’s the last thing anyone deserves.

Father... what are you doing?
Do you have a third wife?
How is your second family?
Sorry you couldn’t live with me in Germany...

Anastasia... how’s your studies?
Are you finally a lawyer?
I hope your dreams became a reality.
You really deserve it, after everything.

Nicholas... are you crying?
Please don’t bottle it all up,
you have a family who loves you.
I’m sincerely sorry I left.

Nathaniel... where are you?
Did you leave to chase your dreams?
Did you start a family?
I sincerely hope you didn’t leave Mother alone...

My friends...
Evan, Matt, Emma, Arica, Five...
Eli, Ryland, Lillian, Cacey, Sami...
There was so much I wanted to say...

No,
Giving up is for the weak.
I can’t give up,
Not now, of all times...!

For the first time in months,
I get back up to the control panel.
I chuckle a bit,
and push some buttons.

Last time I was here,
I was running away.
Now,
I’m running back.

.
.
.

A sister planet to the last one,
the one that ended my dreams.
The other blew up.
Too many flowers.

It’s just as magnificent,
just as beautiful.
But now, I feel a sense of dread.
A sense of dread and fear.

I want to cry.
I know that just as beautiful as it is,
there’s an underlying danger to it.
I could die at any second.

As I step out of my ship,
a child runs toward me.
I retreat back into my ship, my heart beating.
That child terrified me.

I don’t want to go back out.
There’s too much, too much-
The child is knocking on my door.
Oh god, help me, please!

I feel like I’m drowning in a puddle of lava.
Simultaneously choking and burning,
I have no escape.
I have no way to get out.

A cool hand sets itself on my cheek.
I try to open my eyes, but I can’t.
I can’t snap myself out,
out of this reoccurring nightmarish dream.

Suddenly, I gasp.
I’m in my bed.
Surrounded by my purple walls and white decor...
I’m back home.

.
.
.

Outside, I hear a loud rumbling.
I drop all my things and run to a window.
I see a rocket
and a girl.

We make eye contact,
her eyes cold and calculating,
mine curious and wandering.
She points something at me...

and I find myself being judged by God himself.
honestly what the hell did i just write
Aug 2019 · 40
fake
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
fake girl,
fake face,
fake life,
fake place.

wish i was real.
wish i wasn’t fake.
wish i had a life.
wish i had a place in it.

childish to wish that way,
childish to show my face,
childish to live my life,
childish to find my place.

nevermind, the tales are sad.
nevermind, i don’t want a life.
nevermind, i think i’m fine.
nevermind- d o n ‘ t  p u l l  m e  i n.
Aug 2019 · 32
It’ll Be Okay.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Okay.
I am okay.
Been through some stuff but...
Okay!
Everyone’s gone through things,
Some not-so...
Good things.
But one day,
Even just for one day,
Everything
Will be okay.
Aug 2019 · 110
room tour
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
messy room = cluttered brain
empty room = empty heart
Aug 2019 · 131
shut up.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
there’s a time and place for everything
and i don’t know
when to keep my mouth
shut.
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Thin fingers gracefully traced the neck,
Creating beautiful sounds in elegant patterns.
He speeds up,
Swiftly going from piano to fortissimo.

A pig interrupted from behind,
No, that was just a girl.
A girl squealing like a pig.
Couldn’t she just shut up?

The jejune girl known as Juliet was jumping up and down,
Her pink, floral dress bouncing up and down in non-existent wind.
She said something about her regional orchestra,
He grumbled a half-hearted congratulations.

He gently set the hairs of his bow back on his A-string,
but pressed down and pulled in frustration as two more voices interrupted him.
He knew who interrupted, and took a deep breath.

A thin, androgynous boy was smiling at the camera,
No doubt at Juliet.
Another boy was smirking,
A smirk that didn’t care.

Achilles laughed and asked what Roderich was working on.
On one hand, the Austrian was thrilled he asked.
On the other, he didn’t want him to ask.
So, he looked at his screen with a look of happiness, confusion and anger.

Hanna answered for him,
“Golden Statues and Fallen Castles.
It sounds pretty good, but it’d sound better on harp.”
Roderich looked offended, as if someone took an ugly picture of him.

He tried to retort, but it fell on deaf ears.
The Faroese girl gasped and slammed her hands down.
Something fell. She cursed in Danish.
“One second!” She sounded far away.

“Probably knocked her mic down,”
Roderich thought, rolling his eyes.
Achilles wanted nothing more
Than to punch his forever disgusted face.

“You all know Apollo, some Greek god?”
Everyone nodded in various degrees of enthusiasm.
From an uninterested hum to a scream of excitement,
They gave her a signal to continue.

The Greek boy began to rant, cutting off Hanna.
“Oh my God,
A folk story said the ‘Harp of Apollo’ fell from Olympus.
That’s my all time favorite story, I think it’s very informative and interesting and i-“

“The Harp of Apollo”
Roderich scoffed, interrupting him.
“fell from Olympus?
Who found it and got it’s magic powers?”

The two Italians chuckled lightly,
but Hanna didn’t think it was funny.
“That’s actually what I was gonna say.”
Everyone shushed at her serious tone. Why was it so serious?

“I have a challenge for you,
Find the Harp and get it back to Apollo.
Nobody has classes, right?”
She said the last word in a mock Austrian accent.

Unsurprisingly, Roderich rolled his eyes.
“Why? It’s not like it’s real.”
She shrugged and said it might be “fun”.
Who’s ever heard of fun?

An uncomfortable silence gave everyone time to think.
Eventually,
Achilles said goodnight.
He’d play.

Romano screamed something in Spanish,
away from the camera, thankfully.
He slammed his hand into the mouse
and logged off.

Juliet waved the two goodbye,
blowing them each a kiss.
Roderich flipped her off,
and she logged off.

Hanna sighed
and said nothing.
The two made brief eye contact,
and then logged off.
Leaving the Austrian alone with his viola.
i just got progressively less and less creative as i wrote lol, but it’s based off a story i wrote in sixth grade so :/
rereading this, the first stanza sounds like *** ****
Aug 2019 · 66
i’ll think about it
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
“i’ll think about it.”
which means i’ll think about it
and always decline.
oh what’s this? a haiku??
Aug 2019 · 306
Moose and a Milkshake
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
What’s the difference?
They can both make you happy
Or give you severe diarrhea.
One way or another, it affects your life,
wether it be good or bad.
But, to be fair,
So does ******.
someone stop me from writing poems while drunk
Aug 2019 · 46
What a Difference
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
What do a shoelace and a missile have in common?
They can both **** you, one just takes more time.
What do we have in common?
We both have skin (hopefully), and we’re both reading this poem.
I was in church and this popped in my head??
Aug 2019 · 42
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Dear Elizabeth Matthias,

I know you’re not getting better, and acting like you are is probably just making it worse. Thinking about the good things make you nostalgic and thinking about the bad makes you feel worthless. You CAN just end it all, you really can but... you shouldn’t. I don’t know why, you just shouldn’t **** yourself. You always have someone to talk to, or maybe you don’t anymore... Open a social media account, don’t let anybody know. And just... vent. Let them know, maybe someone will come around looking to help you. Or gather up the last of your courage and ask Mom to get you a therapist. They might not be concerned but that’s not the point, the point is someone is there to help you that you didn’t have before and they can actually help you! They’re trained in dealing with people like you, stubborn and feeling awful all the time and

I should stop talking, right?

You don’t have to get better for others, but you should. But the only person you should get better for is yourself, the people you love and the people who love you.

I’m sorry, but hey, love yourself kid.

Sincerely,
Elizabeth Matthias
when did i write this-
Aug 2019 · 58
dear myself,
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
dear elizabeth,

you’re hurting yourself. you’re hurting others. you’re lying to yourself. you’re lying to others. you’re keeping to yourself. you’re keeping from others. you’re being manipulated. you’re being manipulative. you hate yourself. you don’t hate others. you don’t love yourself. you love others. you don’t try hard enough for yourself. you try too hard for others. you want to leave. you want others to leave. you think you’re the worst. you think someone else is the worst. you know you’re dumb. you know everyone is smarter. you think everyone is against you. you think you’re against everyone. you think you’re going to die by your own actions. you think someone else is going to die because of you. you think you might die from suicide. you know someone will die from your own suicide and it won’t be you. you know you’re not alright. you know that they’re not alright. you think you ******* ****. you think they ******* ****. you want to try harder. you tell them they tried their hardest. you say you don’t understand what you did wrong. you know exactly what they did wrong. you want them to die. you think they want you to die. you want to die. you know you shouldn’t think that way. but what are you doing to stop those thoughts? what are you doing to make yourself better? what are you doing to help those around you? what are you doing to make things right between you and everyone else? what are you doing wrong? what are you forgetting to do? what do you think they’d do if you commit suicide? what do you know about what goes on behind closed doors? what are you keeping from others? what are you  doing to hurt yourself and why? what lies do you tell to yourself and others on a daily ******* basis? what things do you call others behind their back? what names do you call yourself when no one can hear? why? why do you do things like this? why do you keep lying? why do you hurt yourself? why do you want to commit suicide? why do you think they’d commit suicide too just because you did? why do you think they’re just as weak as you were in that one moment that changed your life? why do you think you have to be better? why do you think you’re doing that wrong? why are you doing that wrong? why do you do those things behind closed doors?

you’re ******* obvious, you *****. maybe try harder in the next life, the only reason you’d have one is for being so bad this life. redo it. it’s a never ending nightmare.

sincerely,
elizabeth matthias
honestly not having the best time right now, i came out here to have a good time and i’m feeling so attacked right now (joke i swear)
Aug 2019 · 408
i’m telling the truth
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
if you keep lying to yourself it’ll come true.
you’re not hurting yourself.
you’re not cutting.
you’re eating enough.
you’re not suicidal.
you’re not depressed.
you’re getting enough sleep.
you’re good enough.
you’re a good person.
you’re happy.
you’re okay.
you’re a good singer.
you’re a good artist.
you’re a good writer.
you’re understanding.
you’re a good friend.
you’re not manipulative.
you’re not sensitive.
you’re a good listener.
you’re able to vent.
you’re valid.
you’re listened to.
you’re not being manipulated.
you’re not lying to yourself.
you’re telling the truth.
you’re always there for others.
you’re patient.
you’re trying hard enough.
you’re not annoyed easily.
you’re a good cellist.
you’re a good student.
you’re a good child.
you’re funny.
you’re confident.
you’re not at all shy.
you’re creative.
you’re able to achieve your dreams.
you’re loved.
Aug 2019 · 138
69
Aug 2019 · 49
sydney, australia
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
My skin is crying, it's so hot!
How do you live here?!
I just want to fall in some snow,
I just want snow to fall here.
i do not like global warming buuuuut snow guys :)))
Aug 2019 · 56
Ode to My Cello
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
This is an ode to my cello
who's dream is to be on stage.
But when I mess up a note
it fills it with pure rage.

He let's me express my feelings
with something other than words.
His name is Castiel,
after an Angel of the Lord.

Every day, I hear his voice,
feeling joy when I play it through.
But sometimes my pitch is so off,
it sounds like an animal in a zoo.

He hears me sneeze from rosin dust,
and scream when I don't play right.
When I tune, we tell in agony.
My G-String peg was too tight.

He yells out in fear
when my brother touches him.
I jump out of bed and yell,
"DON'T TOUCH MY CELLO!"

But despite all this,
I adore my cello.
He's my golden boy
even without the golden sound.
I was looking through my old Creative Writing notebook and found this and honestly, could be better but I was in sixth grade, so...
Aug 2019 · 30
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
honestly though, communism would work if everyone respected each other
Aug 2019 · 176
voices
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
once,
twice.
lost
lives
you don't wanna know what
i
know.

so many choices,
so many voices.
you don't wanna know what
i
know.

happy in the sun,
disappointed in the dark,
where are your friends?
did your family leave you?

(flinch
move
stop
please)

i wanna leave,
get away,
disappear.
get away,
i plead.
get away,
please.
they never listen,
so i'm forced to stay.

attention *****
psychopath
lazy *****
ungrateful brat
don't call me that, please
it brings up bad memories.

beg,
they whisper.
beg like a dog,
they laugh.
no, no, i don't want to...
i just want it to stop.

don't make me,
don't make me,
please, please,
no, no, no, n-

once,
never twice.
lost
my life.
i'll finally be gone,
i got away.

do you wanna know what
i
know?
:/
Aug 2019 · 104
Harp in the Woods
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Beautiful,
Glistening.
Golden and
Sparkling.

It sits next to a waterfall,
Near Dyjandi,
Vestfirdir, Iceland.
Perched on a rock.

Untouched for years,
It belongs to a girl.
A girl who has been looking,
Searching for years.
Aug 2019 · 60
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
an empty page, lonely in a book
Aug 2019 · 145
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
once,
twice
lost
lives.
you don't wanna know what
i
know.
I thought this was from a song?? It might be?? If anyone knows what song it's from, please tell me but I've just had this stuck in my head for a few months now.
Aug 2019 · 61
Again and Again
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Time and time again,
We try
So hard.
But for no pay off.
evan buddy are you okay
Aug 2019 · 56
Tomorrow Morning
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Tomorrow morning,
You get to leave isolation.
At least it wasn’t two weeks long again, eh?

How am I too young to be around you?
I mean, the radiation is worse on kids.
I should be home.

In the meantime, Father is visiting me in Russia.
I don’t want to see him.
I hope your scans come out okay tomorrow, Mother.
Hey, people who are concerned! My Mother is coming out of isolation soon, but I’m going to Australia soon (eep, that’s far and hot) then France because my family doesn’t want me home yet... I’ll update on her health in a few weeks when I can see her though, thank you for your concern!
Aug 2019 · 77
Self Care
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
“Why should I take care of myself?”
If you do everything out of spite,
Hear me out,
You can’t take care of yourself.
Aug 2019 · 114
Fit In
Lizzie Matthias Aug 2019
Everyone’s doing it
They’re going through so much more than me...
So that’s why.

I didn’t mean for you to find out.
I was just lashing out,
I don’t know where it came from.

It’s not your fault,
I was foolish for thinking I should do it.
I heard everything about it, and still, I did it.

It wasn’t a panic attack, okay?
It felt more like a sensory overload, actually.
Don’t worry about me.

I’m fine.
Just ruined my friend’s birthday party :D
Jul 2019 · 104
Lost in Moscow Joke Haiku
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Evan what the hell
Matt and I have been waiting
Where the **** are you
Respond to your **** texts kid
Jul 2019 · 312
Mother
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Two more days of freedom
Then you're locked back up
In isolation

Why does this have to happen?
Why couldn't I stay home?
I just wanted to help...

Cancer this,
Radiation that.
Can't you just be healthy?

Please don't leave me,
I'm not ready.
I love you
No she's not going to prison, she has to go though radiation therapy again for cancer. :/
Jul 2019 · 285
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
oh right, capitalism
Jul 2019 · 58
Stalker
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
You know it all,
But why?
What do you lose
Not knowing everything about me?
fricc you eli
Jul 2019 · 59
12:12 am
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I’m in the kitchen
I talk to my friend
As I drowned my if Nutella.
I wonder when Mother will get home.
Could it 2 hours
Will it be 20 minutes
Only time will tell,
But when she gets home  
I’ll give her “the look”
The look as if there’s something
Wrong in her head.
As I go off to bed I’ll think
Wondering if my mom was ok
Wondering if she was ok to drive home
Then I forget and rest my weary head.
By six again
Jul 2019 · 166
Untitled
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I'm sympathetic,
Empathetic,
And overall,
Pathetic.
Jul 2019 · 48
Drinking Again w/ Evan <3
Jul 2019 · 64
Writer's Block
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
We all get it at one point or the other
And God, it's annoying.
But take a word,
Any word,
And describe it.
Think: what color is it?
Think: how big is it?
Think: what do I do with it?
Think: what does it mean?
And maybe exaggerate it!
Compare it to something else,
Or contrast it with something else!
Inspiration will come sometime,
Maybe it'll take a while!
But after all the frustration,
After all the pain,
And all the tears,
You'll have something.
And if you think it's not good,
Maybe it isn't!
But I'd post it anyway.
Criticism is a *****,
But it can help!
Especially constructive criticism.
I'm rooting for you buddy <3
Have fun!
Got a small writers block? No problem!
These are just a few tips, but maybe it can help! It sure does for me! <3
Jul 2019 · 95
Let's Go For a Drink
Jul 2019 · 47
Thinking of You <3
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I always am!
You're one of the best people I know,
Wether you think so or not.
We all have our own opinion! <3

I love you
A lot
Like, a lot a lot!
I hope you see this <3

Doesn't matter who,
I'm talking to you!
Maybe I don't know you...
But now you know me! <3

Let's go to a café sometime.
Maybe a museum, too!
I want to get to know you better,
It doesn't matter where we go. <3

What do you want to do?
Let's go on a road trip.
Together.
I love you <3
Jul 2019 · 45
Evan
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Ehhh, Ich liebe dich???
I don't know!! I'm Danish, I barely know German!!!! Maybe if you spoke Danish or smthn
Jul 2019 · 249
It's 3 AM and I'm t i r e d
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
How'd you feel if I set my room on fire
How would I feel if I set my room on fire
wait a second-
Jul 2019 · 61
Please Don't Leave Me
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I don't know what I'd do without you
My heart's already heavy
My body's losing motivation
Without you,
What would I do?

I love you
I'm sorry for whatever I've did
For what I've done to hurt you
Tell me what to do and I'll fix myself for you

If you want,
I can stop listening
If it'll get you to listen.
I can stop talking
If it'll get you to talk.

We can have an agreement:
You can stop talking about yourself
If you follow the rules.
Tell me if it gets too bad
Answer everything truthfully

You want me to follow your rules?
Okay.
If answering everything truthfully
Gets you to talk,
I'm all for it.

But please,
Don't stop telling someone.
You tell me all the time it's not okay
To bottle it up.
But here you are doing just that.

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I'm sorry
Jul 2019 · 50
Paper Dragon
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
I have hopes and dreams to fly high
Just like a paper dragon
But alas, I'm stuck here on the ground
Unable to go anywhere
Just like a paper dragon
Jul 2019 · 37
Waiting, Waiting
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Waiting is a part of life
Sometimes we don't want to
But other times, we wish it would be longer
Jul 2019 · 43
From Japan to Sweden
Lizzie Matthias Jul 2019
Oh, they'll be here soon!
I hope they are, at least!
I miss you!
Jeg elsker dig! <3<3
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